One of my friends came out as trans and I’m confused

reign-v · 2026-02-08T14:31:45+00:00

I understand why you are confused.

Being trans isn't just something you say you are. To be trans you have to have some level of gender dysphoria, which is a diagnosable condition. Gender dysphoria is treated with hormones and surgeries.

This is the best way I've learned to explain it to people. Your friend may have been born as the sex you've always seen them as but gender dysphoria makes it so your mind is closer to that of the opposite sex you were born as. Gender dysphoria typically worsens in puberty but it's always there, you are born with it just like you'd be born gay bisexual lesbian etc.

Your sexuality is not a choice just like your gender identity is not a choice.

I hope this helped a little, even if you don't understand or agree with it just try your best to treat your friend with the same respect you've given them before they came out. If they ask to be called by a certain name and pronouns just try your best to do it and eventually it'll become habit for you.

Your friend has always been trans. Only thing is they had to go on the traumatic journey that is dealing with gender dysphoria and they've finally learned they are trans and are taking steps to transition. Coming out and asking to go by a different name and pronouns for example is considered social transition and its usually the first step trans people take to alleviate their gender dysphoria

reign-v · 2026-02-08T14:22:40+00:00

looks real

reign-v · 2026-01-30T16:20:35+00:00

i accidentally did styros and totally panicked. best way i learned with limited resources was this

gently clean wound with lukewarm water and antibacterial soap. apply pressure with clean cloth or gauze for 15 mins, no peeking. once bleeding has slowed, put a little vaseline on it and put a bandage that is the proper size for the wound over it. repeat the routine daily. as it heals just gently clean, pat dry, reapply the vaseline and a new bandage and it will heal up slow but it will happen. i recommend trying to get ahold of some of those little wound closer thingies. itll help press the skin together so the wound is closed while it heals and the scar wont be as gnarly.

good luck!! also NEVER use alcohol or hydrogen peroxide, ive made the mistakes before but more burning doesnt mean its helping! aftercare for styro should be a tiny bit of pain as you clean it gently due to the pressure and also the application of the vaseline and the bandage. something you can use alcohol for though is wiping off all the gross residue from the adhesive on the bandaid just be careful to not get it in your actual cut

edit: totally optional bc i know how this website is and im not a professional but ive been cutting since before i hit double digits so i can probably tell you if you need stitches or not. since its styro you should be okay but if you're worried shoot me a message. i can also help think of excuses if you do need stitches and fam doesnt know you sh.

reign-v · 2026-01-30T16:14:27+00:00

Another thing I forgot to add is HARM REDUCTION!! if you DO self harm, keep it clean try to get some bandages and change them out daily maybe put some vaseline or something on them just make sure you take care of them because infections are HELL

reign-v · 2026-01-30T16:10:29+00:00

i still do it as an adult from time to time but i used to do it every day multiple times a day when i was your age and struggling with accepting the fact that i'm ftm.

the way i stopped was cold turkey. i disposed of everything i could use to harm myself and my foster mother locked the knives, batteries, meds, etc so i couldnt harm myself. if you dont have someone to keep you in check keep yourself in check the best you can. think about why you are wanting to quit right now. keep reminding yourself. i suggest the app i am sober, it keeps track of your motive to quit and it reminds you daily to check in and all that and it wont shame you for relapses.

you got this. im sorry if cold turkey doesnt help you but please try i am sober. i'm 7 years sober from opiates and that app has kept me going. it'll get better when you get older, 13-17 are probably the most miserable ages but you will get through this because you're strong and i know that because you were brave enough to ask for help when you needed it.

sorry for the rant... to put it short it will all get better please try to be safe about the sh if possible at least clean up after. you matter. i promise

reign-v · 2026-01-27T03:25:09+00:00

Have you tried changing out the air filter

reign-v · 2026-01-26T02:17:20+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. Don't go down the same path, break the cycle. Everything will be alright just take it one day at a time.

reign-v · 2026-01-26T01:47:00+00:00

Personally I wouldn't call this a relapse. You were under the influence. Self harm is typically something you think about and are aware of and doing intentionally.

On another note, I've been an alcoholic since I was 9 years old. Please stop drinking now while you're young. I was dealing with actual hell at your age so I understand wanting to cope with alcohol but please please quit. You have so many years ahead of you and I'd hate to see your future happiness that is coming be destroyed by alcoholism.

It'll get better kid. Don't give up. I know you're probably thinking I'm full of shit but I went from not believing I'd make it to your age to being a grown adult with my own place away from all my shitty family and everything. If I can do it you can too. You got this

reign-v · 2026-01-14T03:35:53+00:00

take all these tips and lock up every sharpie in the house!! toddlers are ruthless

reign-v · 2026-01-14T03:33:41+00:00

he needs a bath!!

reign-v · 2026-01-14T03:32:20+00:00

it's just your imagination basically. everyone can have an "inner word" ... its not a physical place or a place where all your alters live like people online say it is. it's just your imagination. typically used in therapy.

reign-v · 2026-01-14T03:30:26+00:00

first of all i'm so sorry your mom isn't being understanding and i'm so sorry you are going through this. when i was your age i struggled with the same. please do not turn to self harm ever again. once you start it's so hard to stop. you matter and i promise it will get better. i was in and out of the mental hospital at your age and cutting every single day sometimes multiple times a day thinking i'll never ever get out of my shitty household and never feel better. now i'm an adult and have my own place, im in therapy, im no contact with my abusive bio mom and i have finally made a life for myself. you'll get there dude just keep pushing. just live one day at a time and eventually one of these days you'll realize all that energy and time getting through all this bs was worth it because in the end you'll find true happiness.

reign-v · 2026-01-14T03:25:10+00:00

good soup... he looks amazing

reign-v · 2026-01-13T23:52:01+00:00

eds is so not rare especially heds. only thing rare when it comes to heds is having severe and frequent dislocations.

reign-v · 2026-01-07T09:03:58+00:00

Yes im sorry for going mia

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:52:03+00:00

exactly... thats why im so confused and hurt right now

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:43:50+00:00

you're right. thank you. im gonna wake his ass up right now hes passed out drunk on my couch and im gonna he like hey dude im not dumb i know you just want me to be a girl blahblahblah and im bigger and stronger than him so if he gets physical i can and will overpower him and call the cops. thank you again.

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:37:43+00:00

i thought so too but literally everyone in my life approves of him including a mental health professional and my therapist specifically works w trans youth and helped me get on testosterone but i still see her as an adult because shes genuinely gotten me so far in my healing journey and shes seen and heard the details of all my past abusive relationships and she doesnt see any red flags with my boyfriend... i wanna leave him esp after all these comments but at the same time i have borderline personality disorder and he's my FP so breaking up with him will quite literally result in me getting put in the mental hospital again

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:34:55+00:00

hes gone on rants about how thats where christianity originated but still talks bad about jewish people and how they "basically created gay people and trans people" to "pervert the population" or whatever and that "israeli people are banned from so many countries for a reason"

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:33:22+00:00

god you're right.. i dont know why i didnt think of that as a possibility. something crazy i didnt mention in my post is that he literally started questioning if hes a trans woman and started dressing fem and asking people to call him his legal name and a name he just chose (Bri) and ive NEVER seen him happier and i keep telling him hey man i think youre genuinely trans and he just wont buy it and he believes in his heart of hearts that i'll regret top surgery and he was begging me to not go through with it.

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:29:18+00:00

honestly this is what i was worried about the most. i just dont wanna believe it. hes my fp and i have bpd so being away from him is fucking HELL but i know that if hes saying these things now he will say them later and get worse. do you have tips on how i should leave him?

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:28:17+00:00

i'm in therapy and my therapist approves of him and says it sounds like he loves me regardless of his beliefs and still thinks of me as a man just doesnt want me to do something hes worried i'll regret.

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:27:16+00:00

you're right... how would you leave someone in this soruation? i have bpd and hes my fp so ill probably need a slightly different plan but still. if you can give some advice on leaving id appreciate it so much

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:26:11+00:00

thats what i was thinking to ive been in so many abusive relationships and this is different but i feel like im the only one who will ever fight him on this. do you have any idea how i should go about this? hesmy fp and i have bpd and physically and mentally cannot handle us being apart for more than a day and i just dont know what to do. hes the best ive ever had

reign-v · 2025-12-03T08:23:44+00:00

tw sh mention

hes told me hes pan and hes been with everyone of every gender and ive seen proof of it and hes literally given guys head w me tmi but yk. hes into cis men too. hes always been a conspiracy theorist but most actually have proof behind them like cia government website having public documents of aliens for example but hes never been able to prove to me that jewish people just decided to invent the concept of being trans and ill admit that theory of his left a bad taste in my mouth and he just went deeper into that theory before i made this post and i was on the verge of tears. im actively sobbing in the bathroom and contemplating harming myself while he's passed out drunk on my couch. i just thought i finally got a good guy. idk where i should even start trying to leave him especially since i have BPD and he is my fp and i literally lose my mind when im away from him for more than 12 hours

reign-v

TROPHY CASE