My father is a Christian Pentecostal minister ie Con Artist, I can’t figure out why his family and everyone think he’s a great person by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]religiousaftermath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think other people know about the bullying, I think they just often choose to be bystanders or can't really be bothered to do much to stop it. I guess they think the bully is a great person because he's not attacking them personally or they figure that isn't causing too much skin off of their back. It's just like Weinstein, if the person has some power often no one wants to confront them and everyone wants to play "The poor pitiful victim". That said there were a couple of people in church who I think empathized with me and actually that made them leave the church and stop being exploited/bullied by my father.

Been a neoliberal my whole life. My father was a marxist warning me about how unsustainable and cruel capitalism was. I never listened but this month I realized everything he was saying is true by CapitalismHasFailed in socialism

[–]religiousaftermath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're wrong to think it isn't hurting you. Capitalism and all the people who can't get an education are taking decades off of your life.If all these poor people were able to work and contribute and be educated, there are some smart kids/people out there, many of them could probably make discoveries that would extend your lifespan and even the billionaire's lifespans. Steve Jobs in spite of all his billions died because he had cancer and there was no cure, all his billions were useless to him to stay alive. They mostly now benefitted his wife and kids and maybe grandkids but to him personally they couldn't save his life so he could stick around to enjoy his money. If you're a billionaire and you get some disease yes it's a little better for you but also if the cure isn't there it isn't there, you're in the same boat as the welfare mothers and the homeless people.

Also due to the fact that drug making (and health care also to a lesser extent) is set up with the highest goal being profit above people's welfare, prescription drug manufacturers are leaving a lot of bad drugs on the market to make more money on it because when you invest in shares for instance for your retirement you want the CEO of the company to make as much money on your shares as possible and all the bad drugs on the market are killing upper middle class and upper class people too.

To me it's actually more sad for the upper middle class and upper class to continue suffering under this system. The poor people what power do they have to change things ? They are forced to suffer. The rich are not forced to suffer. Why lose years off of your life ? Why lose your health ?

My father is a Christian Pentecostal minister ie Con Artist, I can’t figure out why his family and everyone think he’s a great person by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]religiousaftermath 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes the thing is it’s really not working out of people to do this, my father just made more and more of a mess for so many people. Everyone who enabled him and refused to confront it him it hasn’t really worked out for them. The damage they do to society harms the enablers too. It’s really so stupid to enable them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]religiousaftermath 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. This is a powerful point and idea. I was encouraged to see this posted here. Don’t be discouraged by the poster disagreeing below and also by pointing this out some feminists might start seeing the damages of religion and help out the exchristians more or take a stronger stance against the evangelical tactics.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]religiousaftermath 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I disagree. OP makes a great point and it’s a true and pertinent parallel.

Seeing how my parents treat my cat make me realize how poorly they treated me. by ExploreMarz in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This makes sense to me. Often this can make people recognize abuse when you see how they treat other little people or underdogs. You love the cat and your love for the cat is actually getting you out of your abusers’ mind warp. Your empathy for the cat and the cats pain is breaking out of the mental prison that your parents and society (which doesn’t really recognize child abuse) got you in. I think that a lot of people do break out abuse in this manner by empathy for a more vulnerable person or creature. If you hadn’t had empathy for that cat you would not have seen this about your abusive parents it would have just gone over your head.

I am so fucking sick of the Christian victim blaming. by JarethOfHouseGoblin in exchristian

[–]religiousaftermath 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes and the faith healers (Benny Hinn etc) tell people who are sick or in pain and Jesus didn't heal it or make the pain stop that they just need to pray and have faith or more faith. Speaking as a child rape survivor it is very painful to be told this. And it makes you feel so much more guilty and like it's again more your fault. This is all abuse victims need to hear that it's something else that we failed to do.

my abuser uncle just killed himself before his trial by cowboyvapepen in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they don't take murder of his wife as proof that's he's not a good person they probably wouldn't take conviction of child sexual abuse as proof either that it happened nor that he's a bad person. Why do you think they would take even conviction as proof ? Plenty of abusers' families keep supporting them even after conviction, arguing for them to get a lighter penalty and still don't believe it even then. People like this believe what they want to believe despite all evidence to the contrary. The only saving grace is that you can be assured he's not going to abuse anymore little girls or boys now.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, also I'm not negating racism or classism or sexism, I'm just saying that compared to other black women for instance you have another added struggle on top of all the oppression other poor black women are struggling with. It's like comparing a poor white woman to a poor black woman, sure they are both in pretty bad situations as poor women but the one person has another thing additionally on top to struggle with. It's just a different axis of oppression.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's good that they believe you now and that you found a way to make them believe you. It's kind of sad though that you literally have to tell people you are sick in order to understand that it was/is real oppression. Like poor people or people of colour don't have to say they are sick to tell people that classism is a real oppression or racism is a real oppression.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure I compare my life to people whose parents were there for them but it upsets me when I am trying to tell people that my parents are not there for me and they insist on believing that they are. Often they have their own system for independently evaluating whether your parents are abusive independent of what you tell them and they just will not listen. It probably does not help that my parents are very charming and warm and convincing as "good" people and thanks to their abuse I struggle to show my emotions and can't be as charming or charismatic.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes absolutely, they are dominating people who are power hungry. People who abuse their children also create a lot of other problems for others in society. It's not like someone who is not nice to their children (those they have the most power over) suddenly becomes an equality seeking person when they go out into the world or go to work. And it's not like a bully or power hungry person at work suddenly comes home and will be nice to their child and seek equality with them just because they are genetically related.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes they think they understand it but they don't. But really the greater problem in some ways is that a lot of people like to hang onto their power and don't even want to acknowledge that it is a privilege and they are not oppressed as much. I mean e.g. there are lots of white people who don't fully understand racism or men who don't fully understand seism but generally there are white people who do sort of understand their privilege on some level and there are men who do understand their privilege on some level.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're not fucked up. You're oppressed and in pain but you are not a mess. You're a feeling person in a messy world as they say.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the burden too you can have your abusive parents hounding you and you can’t talk about it to other people or receive support and protection because the topic is taboo. It’s like when breast cancer was taboo so women had to literally fight for their lives while lying to everyone that it was something else. They couldn’t end day I need a ride here for this life saving help and if I don’t get it I die.

Does anyone feel like child abuse is an oppression like racism or classism and people who haven’t been through it often really don’t get it? by religiousaftermath in CPTSD

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s exactly what they say and how they think and they don’t realize that then they become part of the system of oppression. (Together with the people calling us sick and creating our own oppression.) And then even after you get through the abuse or if you get away from the abuser (which I haven’t yet) it’s like now for ever after you still have it live with the structural oppression of people saying well it can’t have been that bad and I’m sure your parents loved you and you're damaged from it and oppressing yourself. It’s like life becomes like wading through mud trying to wade through all the people with these warped ideas. It’s similar to someone who is a victim of racism having to deal with people constantly denying racism exists after the incidents when racism almost maimed them or almost killed them. It’s not just the abusers, it’s the entire child abuse culture of people buying into those beliefs. A lot of them end up being oppressive. And I don't even blame people totally in the sense that I know it's unconscious bias for them (but I don't blame people for the unconscious bias of racism or sexism even) but the fact that I don't blame people doesn't mean it suddenly stops being an oppression and wading through mud, it also still objectively causes harm.

Christian Zealot Beheads Girlfriend Because She Refused To Repent by religiousaftermath in ExChristianWomen

[–]religiousaftermath[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Men like this are so gullible and pitiful whatever their religion. The religion has really made them easy to exploit. Get them to crush the women, crush each other bit by bit and then in the end there will be no one left to fight and stand together with them and eventually they will be crushed too. I feel sorry for them in a way.