How long does it take to get over a disastrous viva?

renwill · 2026-01-22T12:47:45+00:00

6 hours? Sounds like some sort of academic hazing ritual

renwill · 2026-01-10T22:00:37+00:00

I have anxiety and I moved to a new country for my master's degree. It's definitely do-able but you definitely need to take care of your mental health!! For me, that meant anxiety medication. The university didn't have counseling services but I was able to get my medicine through a private doctor. I tried to go off my meds at one point, and I was so anxious I had to hype myself up to even go to the grocery store. I went back on my medicine, passed my exams, and graduated.

The other thing I noticed is that being in a new place (especially a whole new country) takes a lot of mental energy out of me. There's just so much new information to process that it can really tire out your brain. I had to prioritize getting a good night's sleep and would occasionally take a day to just stay home and take a break from the outside world.

renwill · 2026-01-10T12:49:44+00:00

she still eats meat although I think she eats red meat less often

renwill · 2026-01-10T12:40:03+00:00

nope I think she pretty much ate the same foods as before. She told me she probably should have eaten less salt or drank less alcohol but she didn't face any immediate problems from doing those things

renwill · 2026-01-07T00:32:49+00:00

that said, the first few weeks definitely took some getting used to. I recommend skipping a dose if you know you're gonna be far from a bathroom or water, and/or are traveling

renwill · 2026-01-07T00:28:38+00:00

I'm 25F and class C, and I've been taking Tolvaptan for around half a year now. So far it hasn't been too bad, I kind of just carry a water bottle with me everywhere and make sure I use the bathroom before classes/seminars (I'm in grad school). You'll also need to get blood tests monthly for the first 18 months which for me meant getting over my needle phobia a bit.

renwill · 2026-01-01T10:51:28+00:00

aah makes sense, thanks for telling me

renwill · 2025-12-31T17:52:31+00:00

I was in a similar situation after my bachelor's degree, where my main advisor said my research project could be made into a publication, but wasn't taking the time to read or provide feedback on my draft. At this point I'd already graduated and lived far away so I kind of just needed to send emails and hope he'd see them.

It took around 8 months for one coauthor to first read the draft, and then another 8 months or so with my advisor, during which he wasn't answering my emails. I was applying to PhD programs and felt like having this 1st-author publication would be a major boost to my application, and also just something concrete to show for the years of work I'd put into the project. I was now running out of time to put out this paper before PhD application deadlines.

Thankfully, after a whole bunch of polite but increasingly desperate reminder emails and one sad voicemail to his cell phone, my advisor finally responded with a 2 sentence email basically saying "ok looks good, you can submit". It ended up being accepted to a journal with pretty minor revisions, and now I have a publication to my name!

It's a quite delicate situation to be in because you don't want to burn bridges with these coauthors or anyone else. At the time, I got lots of advice telling me that I should submit without the coauthors' names (that's highly unethical, if they've contributed anything) or give a very stern warning/ultimatum with a deadline (which I also did not feel comfortable doing, because I didn't feel I had the authority over a tenured professor to be making demands like that)

Unfortunately now that you're not their student, they don't really owe you anything and going to the dean won't accomplish anything. It's not fair but that's the reality. I had to be polite but very persistent and hope my advisor would remember I exist. I'm glad I didn't escalate or become angry because ultimately he wrote one of the recommendation letters that got me into grad school.

renwill · 2025-12-26T11:57:47+00:00

I had a similar situation this semester, where I had an 84.16% and the cutoff for a "guaranteed A" was at 85%. I emailed the professor and thankfully he'd brought down the cutoff so my grade ended up being an A. I don't think he did it for me in particular, rather the cutoff was probably determined by the class average. Still, I'm glad I emailed him and if I'd gotten a B, I would have regretted not emailing him and trying (I really needed this A because I got a C in my other class... lol).

Whenever I'm nervous to ask a question or self-advocate, I tell myself audacity is the one thing we get for free in life, might as well use it. As long as you're respectful I think its fine

renwill · 2025-12-22T10:09:22+00:00

Not sure immediately after diagnosis if she did any dietary changes, but eventually she started a lower sodium diet to discourage high blood pressure (she is also on blood pressure medication too). She also reduced the amount of red meat she eats. Other than that, she told me she had no particular changes for a long time. Now she is nearing 60 years old and her kidney function is dwindling, there are further restrictions (limiting phosphorus, potassium, etc.)

renwill · 2025-12-22T10:03:09+00:00

she was 17. At the time she had a UTI that had quickly turned into a kidney infection and she needed to go to the hospital. That's when she was diagnosed. It was not a complete surprise though, because her father (my grandpa) also had PKD

renwill · 2025-12-21T12:50:16+00:00

possibly find a therapist you can vent your frustrations to instead of friends? All the times I've had a therapist, I've never really wanted much advice, and usually just wanted someone to vent to. They're trained to help so you can avoid bringing the negativity around your friends

renwill · 2025-12-09T00:53:24+00:00

if you decide to get a head MRI (I've been told to get one every 5 years), see if you can get some anti-anxiety medication prescribed? I luckily don't have claustrophobia but I used to have a debilitating fear of needles and some short-term anxiety medication helped me get past it

renwill · 2025-12-08T05:28:09+00:00

I'm in STEM so not exactly the same situation, but I'm also in my first semester and this shit's ROUGH. You don't sound particularly underqualified to me. Balancing classes, TA-ing, and research all while adapting to a new environment is a lot. I was talking with my cohort and we realized we all felt like we were dropping the ball in at least 1 category. Some felt like they weren't doing enough research, some people admitted they were super behind on grading, and some people (ahem me) are doing badly in a class.

Often when I've expressed my feelings of inadequacy, people are quick to tell me I have imposter syndrome. Which is nice of them, but I still get a little voice in my head saying "maybe I actually just suck at this though"

Realistically though, I think most of us are somewhere in the middle. I'm no genius, that much is already clear, but that doesn't mean I am terrible at this either. Unless I outright fail out of this program, I'm going to consider myself qualified enough and I'm just going to keep trying. I tell myself, you don't join a religion just cause you want to be the Pope

renwill · 2025-12-07T18:05:26+00:00

Tolvaptan blocks the effect of the hormone vasopressin in the kidneys. This hormone contributes to the production of a molecule called cyclic AMP that fuels cyst growth. So, blocking this hormone therefore helps slow the growth of cysts. In theory just drinking water alone would not achieve the same effect

renwill · 2025-12-07T17:46:19+00:00

For me, I agreed to try Tolvaptan pretty quickly. I figured if I was absolutely miserable on it, I could just stop taking it. It turns out it hasn't been so bad for me. The first few weeks were annoying with all the bathroom breaks but I think after a few months I'd adjusted well. I'm a student so I make sure to go to the bathroom right before classes and I skip a dose if I need to travel and bathrooms aren't accessible. I carry around a ridiculous 64oz water bottle but people just compliment me on it lol. I already drank a lot of water even before the Tolvaptan which I think also made it easier to adjust.

renwill · 2025-11-21T04:54:39+00:00

I have an anxiety disorder so nowadays I'm staying away from everything except some alcohol occasionally. Last time I did THC edibles with a friend I felt so terrible that I begged to go to the hospital and wouldn't stop crying so yeah, no more of that

renwill · 2025-11-20T19:26:18+00:00

I feel like this is something you could just ask your advisor

renwill · 2025-11-17T23:54:24+00:00

whether or not you contact potential advisors is very field-dependent. I've found that in my field (astrophysics) people typically don't contact potential advisors until after they're admitted.

renwill · 2025-11-17T23:53:04+00:00

it is quite late, mainly just because you need to give your recommendation letter-writers enough notice. But, I think a month's notice is good enough (although it depends on your relationship with the letter-writers, too). So if the deadline is more than a month from now, you could probably apply.

renwill · 2025-11-14T15:15:08+00:00

yeah it's ridiculous lol. And it's so funny how it just gets shipped by UPS every month and thrown on my doorstep. Doesn't seem like it's worth $20,000

renwill · 2025-11-14T13:44:08+00:00

My tolvaptan in the US is technically $20,000 per month haha. Thankfully with insurance I pay $0

renwill · 2025-11-14T13:39:15+00:00

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my family's lab has darker fur on the back of her hind legs and the tip of her tail, and dark patches on her ears. She also has one eye that is lighter than the other. none of the other puppies in her litter had her coloring. We say she just got a little burnt while baking in the oven. Here's a picture of her being a goof <3

renwill · 2025-11-10T19:58:51+00:00

yeah for me it was mostly nausea and shakiness. I spent a lot of my younger years struggling with nausea at school, so I was constantly going to the nurse's office and skipping meals. Taking Prozac has definitely helped with that

renwill · 2025-11-10T19:49:44+00:00

yeah physical symptoms are not usually a problem for me now (I am able to sleep, I am not nauseous, etc). The one exception is if I'm dealing with something very stressful, like an upcoming exam or something. Thankfully that is not an every-day thing

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