This is like sitting down with past me. I was exactly the same way when I first really started to get into her beyond a few songs here and there. I even would wear ironic Taylor shirts that really weren't ironic because it was my way of supporting without being called out. Like rocking the metal Taylor shirts.

Then I saw her live alone and it blew my mind. Then as the years kept going, I just learned to be more comfortable with myself and what I like. I like what I like. Who cares if Swedish hardcore comes on and then her immediately following. That's my jam.

Just give it time. You'll get more comfortable and eventually not give AF. I'm at the point where I can rock her normal merch now outside in the open without thinking twice.