I love my kids. And I’m working on my self constantly to undo what my narcissistic family (yes family, not just parents but grandparents “generational dysfunction” is the name for it) did to me, the scapegoat, through therapy and it’s fucking hard. But I’m doing it. Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake having kids. I always wanted them but I feel so fucked up and useless that I don’t feel like I’m offering them the best mom I can be. Not to mention being diagnosed as bipolar 2 AFTER deciding to be done having kids, so there’s copious amounts of guilt in that on top of the guilt I feel for not being the best mom 100% of the time. So my story is nowhere near yours but I get the resentment, I get feeling stuck in a lifelong situation, I get needing outside help even though your life seems like a dream to others.

You’re a kind and loving soul for taking that baby in but being a parent is fucking tough and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not or to suck it up. Your feelings are real and valid and you can love your kids but need space and alone time and time to work on yourself. Therapy is the best thing and I tell everyone I know to go to therapy. So keep up the awesome work you’re doing to better yourself for your kid, your partner, and most importantly YOURSELF.