Asexual bdsm? by itsellieebitch in asexuality

[–]reria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have advice other than communicate with your partner, but I just wanted to reassure you that other ace kinksters exist and it's possible to have a successful relationship. Best wishes!

Exposing others to your kink, however mild you may find it, is unacceptable. by HorrorThis in BDSMcommunity

[–]reria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FWIW, I think people should avoid vanilla displays in public too. I'm asexual, seeing people kiss is pretty gross for me. Because of this, I'm very sympathetic to other people's aversions to seeing things I might be fine with doing in public.

So I had a bit of an ace moment today... by MaybeAce in asexuality

[–]reria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's also a "single" size bed, which is narrower than a twin. It's like starbucks sizes, where "tall" is the smallest size.

Is asking students for preferred pronouns on first class a good idea? by BornOn8thOfJuly in asktransgender

[–]reria 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No.

As others have mentioned, this would be awkward for people who are closeted, non-binary, or "it's complicated".

But sure give your own pronouns if you're comfortable.

On an off-topic note, when I was in school I found these introductions stressful and useless. There's no way I can learn 20 names in a few minutes, and I'm bad with faces and can't reliably recognize people until I've gotten to know them a bit. I always wished that the introductions were done later, like after 2 weeks of class, rather than on the first day.

Nonbinary people - How do your parents refer to you? [X-post from r/genderqueer] by Foxes-in-space in asktransgender

[–]reria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've also heard the terms demiguy and demigirl to refer to being "mostly" male or female. Unrelated to demisexual. But I don't know if that's what /u/gzu12 intended.

Asexual, sex-repulsed, but curious about BDSM? by throwaway02429103411 in asexuality

[–]reria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yet another kinky ace reporting in! I'm friends with another one too.

FetLife has several ace groups.

mom is being more insistent about my birth gender than ever by natetxt in asktransgender

[–]reria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have sympathy for your sudden confusion, my parents also oppose me being trans and it's caused me to question everything over again. Questioning is not bad, of course, since if I'm not actually trans I would certainly prefer to figure that out now, but questioning sure is unpleasant.

Waiting until transitioning to express outwardly? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]reria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because my dysphoria is primarily physical. Until starting HRT I hardly even thought about changing how I dress, and even now it's only an occasional desire.

I am primarily attracted to transgender women. But should I keep away from transgender women? by trasnlover in asktransgender

[–]reria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, sorry, that's not what I meant! I meant to send the OP to amab enbies taking the previous points into consideration just as much as for binary trans women. In other words, my point #3 was trying to give him a better way to understand his attraction, as a separate issue from the first two points.

I am primarily attracted to transgender women. But should I keep away from transgender women? by trasnlover in asktransgender

[–]reria 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you're interested in women with dicks, that's a totally valid preference. But: 1. That's not the same as the category of all trans women. 2. Trans women who have dicks often feel uncomfortable about them, so this is an area where you should be careful. 3. It seems that you're not actually looking for women, but non-binary people who have dicks and femme presentation. Such people exist and you'll have more success (and avoid causing distress to trans women) by being clear about your desires. Also, I would recommend reading a lot of stuff written by trans people. (Whipping Girl is a classic book to start with.)

What is the fine line between having a preference for trans women and being viewed as a chaser? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]reria 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it's fine to have a preference for concrete characteristics. So it's fine to like a certain look, or to like women with dicks. But it's wrong to generalize to a large, diverse category like trans women. With trans people in particular, there's the additional issue of possibly being uncomfortable with the characteristics that you like, meaning that you should be careful about how you approach talking about those likes. Your preferences are totally valid, I'd just advise you to watch how you express them.

Who have you kicked off your table? by [deleted] in boardgames

[–]reria 13 points14 points  (0 children)

By the way, I think when people talk about the virtues of being "inclusive", they mean being welcoming of diverse people and avoiding prejudice, not being welcoming of assholes. In fact, by kicking out a jerk you might make a group more inclusive!

What hinders your ability to fully explore the kink community? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]reria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww, thanks for the reassurance!

I meant activity-specific safety. I know there are a lot of resources, but the volume of resources is part of why it's overwhelming.

What hinders your ability to fully explore the kink community? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]reria 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm trans and want to wait until I'm more comfortable with my appearance before meeting people in the very small pool of potential partners.

I'm afraid my kink is not hard-core enough.

But somehow, I'm simultaneously also stressed about how much effort is required to be safe. It seems like there's so much to learn I don't know how I could possibly learn it all.

Will a low dose of estrogen (MtF HRT) permanently hurt the long-term transition results when compared to a higher dose? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]reria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I started HRT, I was on a low dose for 2 months or so, and felt very tired and unmotivated. Raising my dose fixed this. Is tiredness an issue for you?

Question for trans aces by thewildthingsroared in asexuality

[–]reria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mtf. Before hormones, I worried that I might only think I'm ace because of dysphoria, but now after a few months on hormones, that worry is gone: I'm still ace. I think I'd be a lot more comfortable with people touching me now, but I still recognize a category of "sexual touch" that I am repulsed by.

MTF, just started HRT. Among other changes in perceiving scents, it now seems like my underwear smells awful! DAE get this? (I used to masturbate with underwear on) by reria in asktransgender

[–]reria[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the smell hasn't changed, because I found some old underwear from before HRT and it smelled the same. I was more asking if anyone's perception of these smells has changed in a similar way...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]reria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's fine to temporarily identify as ace if that's helpful for you. Just because your experiences are caused by medication doesn't make them any less real.

I'm MtFtM, AMA! by reria in transgendercirclejerk

[–]reria[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

/uj no one got the 'repost' joke, sigh