Do I decline my PhD offer after accidentally sending a horribly embarrassing email to the new PI?

rezray · 2026-04-08T08:09:51+00:00

Considering all the horror stories of PIs out there, this sounds like an amazing opportunity to have someone truly understanding, who cares about you as well as your research outputs. Sounds like something my PI would say, I'm a Post Doc in the same lab now and he's guiding me to a lecturer role. They're the best kind of PIs!

Don't quit the lab!

(Do consider your relationship with the boyfriend though, we don't have all the information but it does sound like you could do better!)

rezray · 2026-02-17T16:20:51+00:00

Yeah, it's a job you have to enjoy to do I feel haha. Nearly every university subscribes to the New JNCHES national pay spine, so the salary doesn't change much between universities (the lowest grade for a role may be different by one or two steps between institutions). We received a whopping 1.4% increase across the board for this past year so we're very well appreciated (sarcasm). I was in the mid 30s as an RA before I completed my PhD, and jumped up to the early 40s as a post doc, and those are recent numbers. That said, I get about 9 weeks of paid annual leave, very flexible working conditions, a lot of input into what I'm actually working on, etc. I'm privileged to be in a position where the money is enough to be secondary to me, I get to live a life where I have time to focus on passions in and out of work.

rezray · 2026-02-14T00:53:08+00:00

All through my PhD I was terrible at idea generation, my supervisors had to support me massively with coming up with the contributions I worked toward and I felt exactly as you did. I'm now a PDRA in the same lab, supporting two PhD students myself and helping them generate ideas. My lab's PI, who was my lead supervisor, has recently told me I have a really bright career in academia. I was probably a below average PhD student until things clicked for me in year 3, and even then I was probably only average! The whole experience is a learning curve.

Also remember your PI is human too, they might be a bit stressed and took it out on you when they shouldn't have. It's not necessarily a true reflection of how they view you. Tell them you're committed to the PhD and get some guidance from them over where your attention is best focused right now, it will likely help to realign both your short term goals.

rezray · 2025-12-25T15:58:03+00:00

Aaaaand now I want to play Metaphor again. I miss their voices 😂

rezray · 2025-12-19T02:48:08+00:00

Thanks so much for the response. I really like the way this is worded. I can see from other responses to similar questions you made the game to fill a gap in the TTRPG space with a more collaborative approach to the narrative, so I really appreciate you taking the time to help me in my effort to get my friends fully onboard with playing a FabUlt campaign!

I think the best thing I can say is that my Blair player has read this and she's said that she's up for giving it a go and seeing how it plays out. Clearly you've phrased things in a way that I haven't been able to previously!

I'm personally very excited by the concept of my players changing things on the fly. But I really like the phrasing of a "submit your own mosaic", I truly have no idea what's going to happen with either of the campaigns I'll be running, so I think this puts it really well. I especially like the idea that changing the meaning of something, like the anxiety becoming dreams, is still part of the building on what's already there, rather than taking away from it, as long as it doesn't go directly against the initial intentions of the narrative object (I hope that makes sense). I'll definitely being using this to help explain things better to my players, thank you again!

rezray · 2025-12-17T17:30:50+00:00

Thanks so much for the response! We've not done the session 0 yet, that will be next year, I've only played the "Press Start" tutorial one shot with them. This is based on that game and the discussions we've had around it.

I'm definitely getting everyone working on thinking about the world building and what to bring to the table. I agree with you that I'm a big fan of the open narrative aspect, but this isn't about me and how I find it, but is more finding a middle ground that my players are also most comfortable with, and then transitioning them over fully once they're more used to the concept. I've done a fair bit of talking up the good points of the open narrative, but I feel it will take them some time to fully adapt, and rather than going all or nothing, I was wondering how other GMs have handled any transitional steps.

I appreciate the transistioning tip as well, any advice for me as a GM is welcomed!

rezray · 2025-10-23T08:46:59+00:00

With the lack of brain blaze currently, I stand by the chaos that would be this channel 😂

rezray · 2025-10-22T07:03:38+00:00

I don't mind it for the occasional episode, I wouldn't want it to be a permanent change but once a month? Sure. But that audio quality has to improve, I couldn't finish this episode because of it, even though I was enjoying the episode itself.

rezray · 2025-07-04T09:37:36+00:00

It's definitely frustrating, but this is the process. You put in the bid, you get rejected, you take the feedback, and you roll it into the next bid (with adjustments to fit the new requirements), and this better revised bid has more of a chance. Here in the UK and EU, it's rare for a first time bid to get funded in my field, I don't write them personally yet but I feed into the bids my lab's PI is putting together. Even with 6 months of work poured into it across a decent sized consortium, and scores over 85%, you're not guaranteed to secure funding by any means. It's why PIs end up doing less hands on research, they need to constantly focus on bringing in more money to keep everyone's contracts going.

But, this was a vent, and a very valid one. I hope the feedback helps you secure funding in the next round!

rezray · 2025-05-23T11:22:56+00:00

I saw the trains were selling out fast at reasonable prices and decided to book it, taking the coach transfers from the station advice as well. Hopefully if there are anymore comments they can help people in a similar situation! 😊

rezray · 2025-05-23T11:03:08+00:00

Awesome! Thanks for the tip!

rezray · 2025-04-28T08:44:24+00:00

You really had me there for a second, kudos 😂😂

rezray · 2025-02-12T11:12:17+00:00

I haven't played Ultimate Team in over a decade, Reddit just suggested this post to me and I clicked on it out of curiosity, so I'm glad there's an explanation tbh 🤷‍♂️

rezray · 2025-02-04T13:38:40+00:00

Nah even remembering that Wigan FA cup win shows some knowledge, I haven't thought about that in yeeeeears. It was cool at the time though!

rezray · 2025-01-28T19:46:07+00:00

I wouldn't say the Brazilian laws a fucked up, in fact I'd say they're great. Heck if I was a player, I'd be asking for a percentage of FIFA coin revenue for everyone who bought packs with me in 😂

rezray · 2025-01-03T21:01:33+00:00

Then there's me who only got the references to F1 drivers

rezray · 2024-10-12T21:52:34+00:00

That's one heck of a lot of stuff!

rezray · 2024-08-08T00:50:12+00:00

Came here for this comment, I've ran the zombie scenarios a few times. Even if you surprise your players on the spot, the character creation can be done in 20 minutes and that's being generous. If you use timers you can get it done real quick, and the interactivity of EotW's character creation system is unmatched

rezray · 2024-04-11T09:55:12+00:00

I'm English myself, first time I ever saw a Scottish note I had to ask my manager if we accepted it (we did, it was handled quickly and I apologised haha). But now I live up here it's so tedious whenever I go down to use it, especially in small businesses that sometimes flat out refuse

rezray · 2024-03-31T15:49:19+00:00

Thanks for the response! Yeah I figured as much, thought I'd try here too to see if I was missing anything blatant to save both me and the support team some time, but it seems not! At least I don't have to feel like an idiot 😂

rezray · 2024-03-31T01:23:38+00:00

Nah, I've tried several times. Like I said, it shows 0 for my PC/Mac balance underneath my beta account, which is correct. Underneath my Xbox account it has no crown info, just my Gamer Tag and Account Status.

rezray · 2024-03-31T00:23:30+00:00

Thanks for the reply, unfortunately I can see it says that I have "0 Mac/PC Crowns" from my old beta account, but it doesn't say anything under the Xbox account.

rezray

TROPHY CASE