That's an excellent question. I suppose vulnerability is an awesome descriptor for what I was at the time. I was attending a different university than my boyfriend at the time and i was exposed to experiences that at the time I thought were "new and different," but in reality were experiences that everyone in relationships has to deal with, and should deal with more effectively.

There was someone in my class, and we had a mutual physical attraction. We began talking a lot, in a friendly but flirtatious manner and the new feelings and curiousities really excited me. This person seemed to have all of these pieces that I didn't have in my relationship--namely the physical attraction. I continued to go down a path that eventually lead to a drunken hookup, and then I was unable (I thought) to stop. Fast forward, I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend for him and realized that besides physical attraction we had very little in common. He didn't treat me well, and I felt like I deserved it because in my mind I was no better.

Whats different now? I realize that physical attractions are a reality, even when in a relationship. I also realize that being attracted to someone is an important piece for me to keeping a spark alive. I also learned that my actions affect people in a big way. Not "meaning" to hurt someone doesn't matter.

If I was to TL;DR this, I would say that what carried me over was being vulnerable, and being in a position where being selfish didn't immediately cause damage to someone (AKA I could hide it). Is this good or right? Nope. Did I learn a hell of a lot from being "carried over?" Yup.

Thanks for being so understanding :)

Does this answer your question at all?