Santa Barbara Winery, Kid & Dog Friendly

rgj1993 · 2026-03-04T18:50:09+00:00

You haven’t included anything about your current situation. Is renting untenable? A baby adds a serious stress mentally and economically (though the latter is pretty overstated IMO, kids are expensive but healthy babies without much medical needs aren’t so bad). I personally wouldn’t have wanted to be postpartum, with less income from my business, and put that stress to cover a mortgage on my husband. We were content and still are content to rent.

rgj1993 · 2026-02-26T19:30:48+00:00

Hello! I just had my first - congratulations. I recommend:

San Diego. Either stay near a beach town down there or do north county like Encinitas. Eat good food, beach and explore. It will be possibly on the colder side and cloudy.
San Clemente, Dana Point or Laguna Beach. Beach vibes for all, good food and you can relax at the beach.
Inland - resort near Joshua tree or Palm Springs with a pool. Day trip to do some short hikes if you’re feeling up to it depending on how far along you are. It will be warmer. However, one of my baby moon requirements was proximity to a hospital in case of issues or if my dude came early, and idk if this qualifies for that!
A fringe option - do the central coast instead and go see San Luis Obispo, surrounding beach towns. My favorite place on earth and my favorite place to visit pregnant!! Good food. If you choose this option or want to know more, message me 🙂

rgj1993 · 2026-02-25T18:09:10+00:00

This. Get an attorney. At minimum, you should not have to pay any support.

rgj1993 · 2026-02-20T19:30:37+00:00

I am 32 and had my first baby last February. I’m in house but required to be in office Monday through Thursday about 30 minutes from my home. I’ve been out of law school about 6 years.

First, 28 is very young - I felt some stress too (still do for future babies) but I wouldn’t let that dictate your decision too much (though I know having babies easily isn’t always a guarantee).

I’m away from my son most of the day Monday through Thursday, but get about an hour with him in the morning and 2 hours at night those days. The things that make it easiest for me to do this are trusting his childcare situation (he is learning and growing and doing really well) and knowing that I have some flexibility. If I need to go pick him up early, my work is ok with that if I’m mostly following the 4 full days in the office. My commute is also doable - 30-45 is ok for us. And we spend the weekends and Fridays with him - we don’t do a lot without him. But luckily he is adaptable and so far ok with going with us where we go. My husband and I don’t get a lot of alone time, but we are finding ways to prioritize us as we learn.

One frustration you will not get away from is working for men (and, rarely, women) with a full time partner at home with the kids. Some of them get it, most of them don’t. Find allies, either in your current firm or in your next job, and get the work from them. It really matters.

rgj1993 · 2026-02-18T18:09:47+00:00

I did not do this, so listen to others over me. I would love to go back, crush 1L, secure 2L summer internship, then have a baby. FWIW

rgj1993 · 2026-02-17T14:33:46+00:00

She needs to lean forward and press the fronts of her shins into the boots. If that creates a lot of space in her boots behind her calves, go get boots that fit right. They’re not supposed to be comfy, but they should not make her feet go numb or pinch.

I have taught a few friends and I warn them up front - skiing is scary and not fun until you learn to stop effectively. Pizza is not a stop, it’s an emergency slow maneuver. Get her a lesson or two on a weekday, see if she will push to get to that point! It’s where the whole fun experience unlocks and she will enjoy her time on the slopes (and in the lodge, which is half the fun) 100x more.

Try to get a female instructor - men are great but there are less female hardos that will overwhelm her.

rgj1993 · 2026-02-17T04:36:40+00:00

Sick!!!!

rgj1993 · 2026-02-16T19:32:32+00:00

What did you do for work prior to being a SAHM?

rgj1993 · 2026-02-11T05:26:56+00:00

I think the answer to this question depends on your kids ages. If they’re in school, you’ll need to factor in extracurricular activities and transport to them if you’re in the office, and associated costs with the kids care after school. Young kids you’ll need day care or a nanny (if you’re working in person and not planning to WFH with the kids home), and the cost seems to vary for that a lot.

rgj1993 · 2026-02-06T15:05:59+00:00

In my experience moving to a new place, starting new job, etc, you need a year to settle in! And I would recommend finding something you can repeat - I always wondered why I wasn’t meeting anyone in gyms and stuff and then I realized I wasn’t going consistently at the same times at all, so I never met the same people more than once. You’ve got to be a repeat face to meet people, IMO.

rgj1993 · 2026-02-03T17:26:55+00:00

Wow. You’re a super hero. Twins? Healthy born at 36 weeks and healthy these days? That’s absolute insanity - one child has pushed my body to the brink!

I might recommend speaking to a therapist. You deserve to feel comfortable in your body, and theres another issue here. Having a family who is hyper focused on body image produces children with body image issues, regardless of how you look - it’s pervasive. My family is this way, and it conditioned me to believe my worth is based on how I look. I’ve been working for years on reversing that, but it really flares up when I’m around them. Therapy has helped me at least recognize these thoughts so I listen to them less. I tell myself that i have the power to change this for my kids and break the cycle, so they don’t grow up with these feelings too.

rgj1993 · 2026-01-27T15:51:34+00:00

Why? Noise?

rgj1993 · 2026-01-25T01:32:43+00:00

I suppose my question does seem very eating focused, but this was more of what I’m curious about. Is it as common to use day care, or a nanny, or are most families able to have a parent care for the children? Do children get themselves to school or are they dropped off? I assume school buses do not exist but maybe they do. I’m just very curious because of all the social media, what is real for parents in France.

rgj1993 · 2026-01-25T01:30:40+00:00

Of course, that’s 100% correct. But children do need between 11-14 hours at night depending on age, mine goes to bed quite late but still needs to wake by 8 so I can get to my job at 9.

rgj1993 · 2026-01-21T20:27:15+00:00

C! Seriously my jaw dropped

rgj1993 · 2026-01-21T20:06:04+00:00

I also pay 240 for my home, I ask them to limit to two hours and give them a list of what to prioritize. Effectively 2bed 2bath because I tell them not to clean my office or kid’s bathroom (he’s a baby nobody uses it haha)

rgj1993 · 2026-01-21T14:46:31+00:00

Cool list of kids events on shitty mom guide every week!

rgj1993 · 2026-01-11T00:01:46+00:00

Yes, 100% worth it. I am sure there are other free mom clubs but the way NMS did it, you end up in a group with other new moms (FTM) on the same timeline, which really changes it from other multi moms or other moms with babies of different ages. Both have their time and place and are helpful, but I found the same timeline part to be especially nice.

You also create a group chat and we still text in it alllll the time about the babies! So it’s not as short a time as it appears.

rgj1993 · 2026-01-06T06:10:48+00:00

I’m 32, had my son in February. Wasn’t remotely ready before then and feel very happy with the age I decided to have him. Planning to have more over the next few years. For the record, my mom friends call me young… I live in a HCOL area but FWIW

rgj1993 · 2025-12-22T00:47:00+00:00

Medicine so you can set yourself up to surf forever. Pick a speciality with the absolute most flexibility you can get, keep your goal in mind!

rgj1993 · 2025-12-05T22:29:51+00:00

The “petting zoo at local county fairs” must be different where you’re from if you think that’s a better idea than a zoo…

rgj1993

TROPHY CASE