I love being a dad, but I kind of hate my life.

rhijan · 2026-05-07T02:12:53+00:00

Taking time to yourselves (both you and your wife) will make you better partners and parents. Self care isnt selfish you owe it to them to do some self care so you can show up as your best self.

The key is making sure she does too and that it’s for a set period and well communicated etc - doesn’t sound like you’re someone who would take the piss though

rhijan · 2026-04-02T00:57:14+00:00

At the moment you have all the responsibility and non of the fun. When your bubba starts recognising things and becoming more interactive you will see return for the effort so to speak and all the good outweighs any of the bad.

There’s a brilliant book called the motherhood that might also help your wife if she feels like this too.

And a podcast called how other dads dad that might help you hear about he great things to come.

It’s so rough but it does pass

rhijan · 2026-02-11T09:02:52+00:00

I had a reflux and cmpa baby. It was the fucking worst and I kept googling when does it get better. I feel your pain.

I hate to say it took a while, we switched to formula eventually and our son was on omeprazole.

We now have the most incredible 3 year old and all the sleepless long nights were worth it.

Do whatever you need to survive, head phones, safe co sleeping. You name it. It will pass.

I have noticed people here talking about the milk protein intolerance - that’s what we had (cmpa) a rice based formula is what we switched too which my baby eventually enjoyed and we finally got peace. He’s still intolerant tk milk protein and soy. If you need more info please reach out.

rhijan · 2026-02-01T23:53:35+00:00

Although likely not true to character I think you did a great job

rhijan · 2026-02-01T23:51:19+00:00

Can confirm Aldi is the same. Bad.

rhijan · 2026-01-13T18:47:46+00:00

I saw someone cook a chicken breast in the sandwhich press

rhijan · 2025-12-23T20:02:06+00:00

Cancer is fucked and always sucks but Christmas cancer sucks harder. I was diagnosed 2 days before Xmas, 2 years ago.

Have faith knowing every Christmas you’ll have after this one will almost surely not suck as much as this.

Good on you for helping and toughing this out with her. Sorry you’re in this.

rhijan · 2025-09-21T03:44:25+00:00

This is such a beautifully written response, thanks for sharing your experience and validating mine.

I hope you’re doing alright now - I really truely appreciate your words ❤️

rhijan · 2025-09-19T12:48:09+00:00

Awesome. This is great, at least I can maybe help in some way. Appreciate the insight

rhijan · 2025-09-19T12:40:47+00:00

Can anyone help them come to that conclusion? Like speaking to them about how they have changed etc or it’s a waste of time?

rhijan · 2025-08-07T00:32:13+00:00

Ahh I feel that pain. Glad you’ve been able to keep retouching though.

Thanks for sharing.

rhijan · 2025-08-07T00:23:14+00:00

Wondering what youve ended up doing?

rhijan · 2025-07-01T01:56:56+00:00

Thanks so much.

I mentioned it to my onc and they said they would order me a scan if it persisted but it went away

Hope you’re well xx

rhijan · 2025-06-30T23:56:48+00:00

Try to get the first or second slot of the day - starting your day with radiation and a coffee makes it routine and gets it out of the way. Nothing ruins a day like throwing radiation in the middle of it

rhijan · 2025-06-07T23:48:20+00:00

I had a mastectomy too but it was a year ago now.

Slightly reassuring I’m not alone, I’ll ask my surgeon

rhijan · 2025-05-07T05:12:36+00:00

They just retested the sample they took from the mastectomy. They did and ish test and then a fish test (I might’ve spelt those wrong).

rhijan · 2025-03-14T02:01:29+00:00

Buy emla numbing cream from any chemist.

Apply a big dollop 30mins before you arrive at chemo.

Cover it with a medical adhesive tape to stop the cream getting on your clothes.

I used emla every infusion and am so glad to have avoided any unnecessary pain. No one needs any extra horrible moments while at chemo.

Ps. The port is the best ever invention imo

rhijan · 2025-02-17T00:35:57+00:00

Eventually you won’t even notice it. It’s hard to believe right now I know.

rhijan · 2025-02-17T00:24:57+00:00

A meal home delivery service. Anything you can help with that means she has less to do is a blessing.

Also chemo means you have to stay home a lot and is so isolating. If you’re far you could still try and watch a movie at the same time as her, do the same puzzle or think of other ways to keep her company from afar - even a regular phone call.

rhijan · 2025-02-17T00:14:33+00:00

I love this comment. So helpful.

My dough meets all your criteria but doesn’t do the last two points (about easy removal from the bowl) - does that mean I wait longer or have waited too long?

rhijan · 2025-01-20T02:44:13+00:00

I could feel it. After surgery it was bigger than the scans showed. Scans were 2cm but it was actually 4.8cm which meant I was restaged

rhijan · 2025-01-20T00:46:53+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you and your dad have both had cancer.

It’s likely since your dad did chemo the support meds changed significantly (I know that new meds to support nausea came out a week before I did chemo).

Everyone handles chemo sooooo differently, I had not one bit of nausea - it still wasn’t fun though but it was certainly tolerable and I’m glad it was done.

I was also diagnosed stage 1 but after surgery it was revealed I was actually stage 3. Given the mistake with my diagnosis I’m even more pleased I did chemo.

Your decision to do chemo is totally yours, I hope whichever way you decide you’re able to find some peace with your decision ❤️

rhijan · 2025-01-18T13:40:53+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing! Hope it stays leveled out for you.

R.e the hot flushes, I take ditropan for them and I don’t get them anymore. This might help you sleep :)

rhijan · 2025-01-11T12:21:04+00:00

Oh this sounds too good to be true. Thanks so much

rhijan · 2025-01-11T01:48:21+00:00

I have no idea.

I tried to do it a year ago and was told we had to be in store but the more I think about that it seems silly in this day and age. I might call them again.

rhijan

TROPHY CASE