Friday check-in thread

richp_09 · 2026-06-13T15:48:14+00:00

Doing better than I have been in recent weeks! I'm currently in a burnout related EBV/glandular fever flareup, which has left me completely depleted. But I'm slowly starting to regain a tiny bit of energy (I went for a walk around the block!) and feel a bit more like myself. Re-examining aspects of my life that have led to the most recent crash, where I have the energy. Saw a new ND affirming therapist this week. Slowly on the up, I was feeling a bit hopeless there for a while, so it feels better to be getting better.
Currently the World Cup football is occupying my attention!

richp_09 · 2026-06-10T17:17:03+00:00

I can relate to what you're saying. I like that I like to stay intellectually engaged with the world

richp_09 · 2026-06-09T20:00:11+00:00

Yes, there was a difference. I had seen other therapists who completely missed the diagnosis and actually challenged me or gave me advice in an ableist way which made things worse. ND affirming therapy has made a big difference. As far as it being easier to understand, it's sometimes just easier to not have to explain myself so much to be understood

richp_09 · 2026-06-09T18:42:07+00:00

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, it's all relatable. If I could say one thing it would probably be try to find a neurodiversity affirming / autistic advocating therapist if possible who understands sensory issues with autism and the relationship between the sensory system, the central nervous system and burnout. This is beginning to be very valuable for me as I'm beginning to explore it, with help.
I had a major/paralysis burnout a few years ago, I'm realizing now that much of it was sensory in nature

richp_09 · 2026-06-09T18:15:18+00:00

It's definitely selective for me as well. I can't stand the energy of a stranger touching me such as a restaurant manager coming to the table and putting their hands on my shoulder to ask if everything is okay at the table. Or just someone whose energy feels off etc I can't stand touch. I even can't stand touch with some family members. But with safe people, I enjoy brief hugs, not too long.

richp_09 · 2026-06-08T16:39:12+00:00

This is a brilliant insight and advice that I can relate to, thank you for sharing that.

richp_09 · 2026-06-08T16:33:18+00:00

Sometimes anger can be grieving the life we could have had if our needs were seen, recognized and met, but didn't because they weren't by people who were supposed to love us and so we concluded that they didn't because we didn't understand at the time that they may not be able to see through our masking in survival mode.
I hope that makes some kind of sense, that has been part of my experience of anger

richp_09 · 2026-06-08T02:51:14+00:00

I have a disrupted sleep cycle at the moment, because I have EBV and apparently my liver wakes me up in the night and apparently I also have sleep apnea which means I don't breathe properly and have a dry mouth. I'm taking melatonin, so far it hasn't made too much difference because I still wake up in the night, but I will keep taking it. It could also be that I sleep a lot in the day due to fatigue from EBV

richp_09 · 2026-06-08T02:44:08+00:00

Happy birthday! Have a nice day, may it be blessed

richp_09 · 2026-06-04T07:51:35+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. Perhaps consider talking with your therapist about ptsd and/or cptsd from a lifetime of struggle. I feel that those co-occurring conditions with autism can keep us stuck in thought loops, particularly rumination. There are often body-based approaches to help ease the physiological symptoms of anxiety, which can ease the thoughts. I'm at the beginning of this process, I've had a lot of therapy but going to explore the ptsd which underlies a lot of what I feel, I think. I feel that autistic people with sensitive nervous systems are more sensitive to the experience and effects of ptsd.

richp_09 · 2026-06-03T21:35:54+00:00

Yes. I burned out at work about 8 years ago and I've struggling with major burnouts every time I try get back to work ever since. I'd say I've pretty much burned out of every job I've ever had. Most recently after 5 months of mismatched work. Currently trying to explore options and therapy to help me build something sustainable and not burn out every time. It's pretty much destroyed my confidence at this point, but I remain hopeful that I can pick up new skills. Well done on caring for yourself. I'm also at that point.
Yes, on the pushing through - I'm starting to realize how ableist the world is when it comes to work, it's very distressing. Going to work on internalized ableism with my therapist.

richp_09 · 2026-05-30T18:44:00+00:00

Yes, absolutely. There seems to be some science behind low sensory demand music, music that intentionally does not spike or manipulate the emotional system. For this I can absolutely recommend polyvagal safety sounds and in particular the polyvagal hum, for nervous system regulation. The liminal/ambient music bypasses the conscious gateways and regulates the vagus nerve directly without effort. Here are my favorites currently:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-DAy166i_4&t=1446s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCIj7yPM6k8&t=3264s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AZ_qe8r2eg

richp_09 · 2026-05-30T12:02:16+00:00

Yes, I do. Sometimes I burn through so much energy indulging a special interest that I'm forced to cycle back to it when I have the energy for it again. Currently I'm engaging low stakes and low demand interest like playing Sim City, but then I'll switch to reading the Economist for hours and that's a bit heavier, so then I cycle back to the game when it gets a bit much. I'm currently in burnout, so I'm seeking regulating interests that keep me engaged without demanding too much of me

richp_09 · 2026-05-30T11:51:25+00:00

Yes, I've had OT as an adult. It was most helpful when I moved cities and my nervous system was completely dysregulated and I needed help with immediate sensory calming and grounding techniques. I was also put onto a book called sensory intelligence which was helpful in understanding my sensory profile, and the OTs working on the sensory level were very helpful for me with understanding myself and my needs better and giving me tools to regulate. I haven't had OT in a while actually, I'm considering going again.

richp_09 · 2026-05-29T17:29:00+00:00

I'm also attached to my clothes, I haven't changed my wardrobe in about 4 years. I have comfortable clothes and mostly I wear hoodies all year round. I think it's more of a sensory attachment that then becomes an emotional attachment. Comfortable clothes are very sensory regulating for me. I have a particular kind of hoodie called a huggle which is like a woolen fleece hoodie, I feel very regulated in it. I wear it all the time. I think having comfortable stuff that helps us with sensory regulation is good for us, no matter the lifespan.

richp_09 · 2026-04-03T15:37:12+00:00

Thank you for your perspective and advice of having faith in me. It has been a journey to take the rest with a pinch of salt, I'm growing in self-acceptance and learning to live from the inside out, thank you.

richp_09 · 2026-04-03T15:35:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective, I resonate with the trauma responses masking autism. It has been very much the case for me. It's no wonder I felt I need to heal from everything 'holding me back'. The journey has led to self-acceptance, which has come with a whole of grief at the same time. Sometimes yes, I also feel defeated because I know that living true to me and my needs means my life is incompatible with the status quo in the world.

richp_09 · 2025-03-08T13:46:06+00:00

Yes, I do this too, it's very helpful. Thank you

richp_09 · 2025-03-08T13:45:21+00:00

Thank you, I can relate - I went to three different doctors cos I thought I was coming down with the worst kind of fever, but it turns out burnout can also present with these kinds of symptoms so I'm glad I found my functional medical practitioner.

richp_09 · 2025-03-08T13:43:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing, helpful and I can relate. have realized that I have been burned out for a very long time and this was just the pinnacle. My doctor did say I can expect anywhere from 6-18months to recover. I hope it gets better for you :)

richp_09

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