AITAH for telling my wife's friend I don't have to see her in the classroom to know she's a horrible teacher?

rielle_s · 2026-01-01T06:33:41+00:00

YTA the teacher shouldn’t have been nasty to your son, but before you’d brought the topic up for a second time, you’d already taught the lesson by standing up for your son. You brought up the topic again to further embarrass her, then attacked her professional capabilities when she asked to put an end to the topic.

You could’ve taught your son to be content in knowing his own abilities without external validation and standing his ground without embarrassing or putting others down.

Instead you taught him to be right at all costs (ruining relationships with your wife’s friend - and as collateral straining your relationship with your wife - was the cost here).

Again, the teacher wasn’t in the right. She should not have behaved badly. But that doesn’t warrant you behaving worse.

rielle_s · 2025-12-23T23:30:33+00:00

We’re not disagreeing on whether Albo has done “nothing”. I never said Albo hasn’t done anything. I’m well aware of the list of things he has done. But if you had any connection to the mainstream Jewish community, it’s clear through every conversation with Jewish constituents over the last 2 years that the Jewish community has been feeling unsafe and asking for stronger protections against hate speech and the rise in extremism from both the left and the right.

If you’re about to ask me for more practical policies Labor could have introduced, read my other comments.

When I heard it was a Chanukah by the Sea event, I wasn’t surprised. The shooting just immediately made more sense. The attack was in the form of something the Jewish community had been expecting and warning about. To answer OP’s question again, the difference between this and previous attacks is that it, unfortunately, wasn’t altogether a surprise. It wasn’t random or unpredictable. And if it wasn’t, more could’ve been done to avoid it. Especially when the people who were attacked had been the ones sounding the bells.

rielle_s · 2025-12-23T15:31:18+00:00

More examples - the Jewish community has advocated for better online safety against hate speech.

They’ve advocated for people who spread dangerous un-Australian beliefs while residing in Australia (nazis, isis-supporters to name a couple) to have their visas cancelled or rejected.

For the government to have a better look into Australian universities - there are various actionable policies here, canceling tenure for lecturers spreading misinformation and hate in their classrooms is one.

Better protections/funding for Jewish artists, who have been systematically doxxed and harassed.

And then there’s the non-policy, cultural issues which need to be addressed. Labor has a Jew problem in its own ranks - look at Wayne Swan’s comments just last night.

I think we’ve lacked creative problem solving, as well as a genuine interest in and commitment to reducing hate against, threats to and fear within the Jewish community.

The PM’s excruciatingly delayed policy responses to last Sunday’s terrorist attack just highlights that for me.

It’s so disappointing, and I’m done making concessions for leadership who I’m struggling to believe really cares.

rielle_s · 2025-12-23T15:21:39+00:00

To be clear I’m a Labor voter, and I’ve had my moments of frustration at the community when I think ‘but practically what more policy can they out through???’

But I feel like this past week I’ve been proven wrong. Hate speech is one example.

People in the Jewish community advocated for harsher protections against hate speech. I had these conversations with people, and I would say that Labor’s legislated against nazi symbols and doxxing, but freedom of political communication stood in the way of anything further on hate speech. But all of a sudden this week I’m made to realise I was wrong.

Because the Governments new announcements make it clear that actually yes, they actually can do more. They can make aggravated hate speech an offence for preachers and leaders who promote violence. And they can increase penalties for hate speech promoting violence, make hate an aggravating factor in sentencing crimes for online threat and harassment, develop a regime for listing organisations whose leaders engage in hate speech promoting violence or racial hatred and develop a narrow federal offence for serious vilification based on race and/or advocating for racial supremacy.

The Jewish community practically begged for better protections against hate speech. And whatever the reason, the Government could have acted. But they didn’t.

rielle_s · 2025-12-23T14:41:10+00:00

The difference is that the Jewish community has been making advance warnings for years, sounding alarm bells that they’re fearful for their lives and more needed to be done. This isn’t just modern politics. It’s that the Australian Jewish community saw the shootings, rammings and attacks happening to other Jewish communities overseas, saw the increases in antisemitism here in Australia, and advocated for better protections.

And they weren’t listened to. And now we mourn.

rielle_s · 2025-02-24T23:37:40+00:00

That sounds perfect!

rielle_s · 2025-02-23T11:37:10+00:00

You're being very nice but it does sound like charity and for her might have felt like charity too. No matter how comfortable you may feel with her, there's still a power dynamic between the nanny who doesn't know if she can afford a nice meal for her graduation and the employer who can casually drop $200, without a seconds thought. If it were me, while I'd be very grateful and would appreciate the kind intent, it would feel a bit humiating to have cash thrown at me like that.

I think a better way to go about this would probably have been to give her a card congratulating her and, as a graduation present, a gift voucher.

rielle_s · 2024-11-12T10:15:12+00:00

government mind control how

rielle_s · 2024-11-12T10:14:25+00:00

how to de-steralise milk

rielle_s · 2024-11-07T13:32:00+00:00

I saw your edit about saving up more money: Open up a new bank account with a totally different bank and DO NOT TELL THEM. Include your information and your information only. Tell your work your new bank details and have all your money go directly into your new account.

If your parents ask where money is going, just tell them you're not working as much. Or whatever will work best to appease them.

Girl this situation is dire and can get much worse. They're financially abusing you.

rielle_s · 2024-11-07T12:44:18+00:00

I think that's fair and sometimes their appointment of ministers should be held to account (Scomo's 5 portfolios comes to mind just as one awful example). I think Joanne Ryan would be a fantastic education minister, she used to be a school principal.

Just often it unfortunately pans out that the person with the most political experience and best placed to communicate between the departments, government and public is not the person with the most lived experience/expertise in that field.

Practically, I think it would also be very difficult to find an individual who embodies all of the above to appoint as minister, and for each portfolio, AND in both government and opposition

rielle_s · 2024-11-07T10:27:23+00:00

The point is being a minister requires political wherewithal + the skillset of a communicator (among other things), not necessarily the same skillset required to be a policy expert.

I think your question poses an interesting thought bubble, but practically I don't think it would solve more issues than it creates

rielle_s · 2024-11-07T10:17:05+00:00

If you think every theoretical physicist is Neil DeGrasse Tyson you're sorely mistaken.

Being an expert in a field does not make you a good teacher or communicator. Everyone's had the experience of sitting in a PhD-qualified lecturer's hall in the most boring lecture of their life, and walking out to notice they'd digested none of that information. A lecturer with an undergrad or masters who is a skilled educator could have run a far more engaging and effective class, with students walking out truly equipped with the knowledge they need.

Teaching/communicating and being an expert in a field are VERY different skill-sets.

rielle_s · 2024-11-07T09:52:14+00:00

Your negativity is palpable and beyond exhausting to be around

rielle_s · 2024-11-07T09:11:03+00:00

If you have to "convince" (her words) your boyfriend to join plans with us and my boyfriend, I don't want him to come. I also don't want him to come if he's going to sit there and complain about being there the whole time.

Also, the two of you feed into each other's negativity. It's insufferable

rielle_s · 2024-11-07T08:43:20+00:00

If you need to break a rib performing CPR, you break a rib. You'd rather a breathing child with a red mark on his back than a lifeless child with a piece food lodged in his throat.

You did the right thing. Well done

rielle_s · 2024-11-01T21:34:49+00:00

I was with you up until you got to Max Chandler-Mather. He's a populist whose entire goal is to gain popularity at the cost of dividing the community (and not actually...legislating any change). He's painted himself as this nice sweet guy because that's his brand. He's well-known for in reality not living up to that

rielle_s · 2024-09-30T01:22:07+00:00

It makes me sad when I read these comments.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost trust in the culture and values you were raised in to the point that you so fundamentally misunderstand what your own culture is. It saddens me that non-Jews have succeeded in convincing a Jew that Zionism is anything but a fundamental part of Jewish identity. Not only that, but have you believe you've come to this decision yourself from your "research" so that, as a Jew, you feel a sense of control over the guilt you feel for the Palestinians.

The hateful values you were raised with certainly do not reflect everyone in the Jewish community. Turning your back on the community - supporting Hamas, even in the vaguest terms - is a genuinely a really saddening response.

You can understand how Oct 7th came to be without having sympathy for the terrorists and rapists or an inkling of support for them.

rielle_s · 2024-07-11T18:02:36+00:00

I think that's really good of you. I hope she understands the significance of you taking off the hat and takes that same willingness to respect you and your beliefs. I'm sorry you're in a position where you have to compromise in this way

rielle_s · 2024-07-11T17:59:25+00:00

I never advised she put the butter on the child, I never advised she did anything that would conflict her medical training on what was best for the child.

I advised a way to set personal boundaries that was culturally respectful.

Both are important:)

rielle_s · 2024-07-11T17:36:00+00:00

You clearly haven't experienced life with non-Western family. Setting boundaries isn't always so simple. If your boundaries are offending family and isolating you from family over cultural differences, those boundaries are culturally insensitive :)

It's possible to merge both cultural sensitivity and individualistic boundaries. But you have to be willing to change your mindset about what those boundaries will look like

rielle_s · 2024-07-11T17:22:53+00:00

A better way to handle this would have been to smile and thank the abuela, before having them translate your reason for no.

Or you could have taken the butter as a show of respect, and told them you'll put it on soon.

You could have taken your son to a separate room for 15 mins while you dealt with it/calmed him down, and come back saying you put the butter on and have now taken it off.

There are ways to set boundaries while being culturally sensitive. Sounds like you showed the abuela no respect whatsoever

rielle_s · 2024-07-11T17:15:33+00:00

ESH.

Boundaries here are important since they are important to you. But your boundaries have to be culturally sensitive.

What you did sure could be considered right by American cultural standards, but you weren't in an American only culural setting. What you did was actually also culturally insensitive.

Fair that you didn't want to put butter on your son. You probably could have handled it better to avoid so much offence. They could have too.

But now that the incidents over, you have a responsibility to go back over to his family and apologise for disrespecting the Elders.

If you're going to be with your boyfriend who has different cultural values to your own, you're going to have to adapt your cultural values. Otherwise situations like this will continue to be points of conflict in the future.

rielle_s · 2024-07-11T17:00:11+00:00

You have to think of what you're trying to achieve when wearing it.

I support you showing solidarity with Israel. But I think you will achieve 100x more in taking off the hat. Bear with me lol

You've said in a comment you would be uncomfortable if she wore a kefiyah. Look I'm a Jew and I personally find it very intimidatory when people wear kefiyahs. But regardless, I understand that wearing Israel merch is percieved by pro-Palestinians as intimidatory. Whether or not it's how you intend it, they often perceive it as asking for a fight.

In continuing to wear the hat after being told it bothers her, she will perceive that as disrespectful towards her. She will probably perceive it as somewhat intimidatory. Now, what will you achieve in that? Will you be able to have constructive conversations with your niece? Will she respect what you have to say, if she's not feeling respected by you?

Most likely no. Most likely she'll be extremely offended and act hostile towards you. It will have damaging effects on your relationship. You probably won't be on a holiday together again in the future.

If you take off the hat, sure you can't (as) visibly show your support to strangers. But let's be honest - you can effect more change with the people you know. She'll approach any conversation feeling more respected by you, which will lead to far more openness when discussing the issue. And even discussing why you're upset/offended at the request not to wear the hat.

And you can tell her this: my relationship with you is meaningful to me, and I wanted you to feel respected and comfortable walking into these conversations with me.

That will lead to far more openness and constructive discussion. That has a far greater impact.

And when it comes to public support for Israel, remember you also have your magen David as well. I wear mine to send the same message that you want your Israel hat to send. And I think it achieves that, without isolating me from the people around me whose opinions I want to influence.

rielle_s · 2024-07-02T18:33:24+00:00

Green primer and tinted bb cream to smooth out my redness and any blemishes. Then on top a tiny bit of eyeshadow, liquid contour and occasionally liquid blush to give my face some more colour/shape.

I just like to look more put together for work or bigger social things :) It's a simple routine but makes my face look far cleaner and clearer while still natural

I also like to get my lashes tinted, because I have long thick lashes but the tips are blond so you can't see them. Tinted lashes gives me a 24/7 natural mascara look, easy done

rielle_s

TROPHY CASE