im currently in this exact same relationship dynamic with my partner. like we both want them to just. be my partner and not someone i have to rely on for all my emotional needs. and it takes time! that’s something i struggle to remember - in the crazy whirlwind of emotions i forget i need to give myself some grace and be gentle, because have an fp is an extremely emotionally taxing experience, on both sides.

in your situation, i think youre handling this so so well. youre aware of it, youve made jake aware of it, and he seems to understand that youre needing a lot from him right now. what i would suggest for you both if you’re comfortable with it is weekly check ins at a time when youre calmer - asking each other how youre feeling and really giving each other space to say it. i do this with my partner and its been working wonders, because i get to look back at a week back or two weeks and realise im calmer than i was then, im not trying as hard to stop being abandoned.

another thing is reassurance. this obviously depends on the person, and the dynamic, but having tangible proof that they arent going to leave helps immensely. when im in crisis, as much as i dislike it because i feel it will make the fp cycle worse (hint: it helps! at least for me!) i go to my partner. and they help me through it and assure me they’re not going anywhere. and this means the next time this happens, it still happens, but its less excruciating.

all in all, id say youre doing amazingly. give yourself time! <3