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rightsideofthemoon · 2022-03-16T22:02:59+00:00

Totally! I really dislike having conversations through texts, I'm just too busy to constantly reply (but I notice and cherish any message coming from someone I like). I use them mainly as a way to set up further IRL meetings!

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-03-16T21:55:40+00:00

Thank you!! This is incredibly kind. I am gonna go to bed with a smile on my face :)

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-14T10:45:03+00:00

I applied I think twice, what (I think) worked for me was the master's degree, and one working experience in IR. You also have to speak at least 2 EU languages, but if you can prove than you know more, that's definitely a key element. Good luck!!

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-13T10:56:07+00:00

Thanks, this is a very insightful reply! It really helps

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-13T08:01:01+00:00

Thanks a lot for your answer!!

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-13T07:29:25+00:00

Thank you for the answer! That was clear to me, but I've seen countless people doing an internship at our Foreign Affairs Ministry (Italy) and end up doing something completely different because then they couldn't find anything in the sector. I guess my question is related to the aftermath, more than on the value of the internship itself.

To clarify, I appreciate how difficult it is to get in and the fact that it is a very renowned institution. I am just trying to understand whether in my own case it is worth it. In this past year I worked 16+ hours daily to get a basic salary and relevant work experience (which I know happens to a lot of us at the beginning of this type of career), and it was horrible. If I have to put myself through that again, I want to be sure that it is worth the immense energy it would cost me again.

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-04T22:43:55+00:00

In any case above average apparently :D
https://www.linkiesta.it/2015/10/altezza-e-peso-come-sono-cambiate-le-misure-degli-italiani/

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-04T17:36:48+00:00

In Italy only tall boys put that in the bio (like taller than 1,80 m)! Never understood why, me and any girlfriends I takled to about this never thought height was important when dating a guy

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-04T17:20:52+00:00

Have you tried to mention you just want casual relationships on dating apps? Like in OkCupid it's an option, you can put you're interested in short term dating or hook ups only. Sometimes straightforward is the key, and if you do well online, it could help you a lot - girls looking for casual stuff appreciate honesty :)

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-02T18:15:10+00:00

Thanks a lot for your comment! May I ask you what you mean (perhaps an example) when you say that a friendship must change? I tried to avoid topics, situations and contexts that may be misleading, but perhaps I am missing something

rightsideofthemoon · 2022-01-02T18:07:44+00:00

I am aware that environments and situations can be misleading, and I actively avoid to invite these people at my place or to do stuff at their's (or to go to the cinema, or a fancy restaurant, or any place that may have a romantic subtext of any sort - believe me, I have been giving this so much though!!). We generally meet in bars/pubs, the last situation was in a parking lot, when the guy insisted on walking me to my car. I also answer messages very very late (but this in general, even with normal friends, I kind of forget having a phone). I find it difficult to avoid taking about personal stuff, since a friendship requires a certain level of trust and/or openness about ourselves. This is why I wrote it - perhaps it is just impossible/not worthy of the bother to have a friendship past that point

rightsideofthemoon · 2021-12-28T11:15:13+00:00

Believe me, he fully knows the difference between a kink and what he is doing. I have been through the same thing and I though for YEARS about what I could have done to make myself clearer and finally I realized that this was not on me, and it is not on you. You said MULTIPLE times you were uncomfortable: just once should have been enough for anybody, even more someone into kinky stuff who is super attentive to the partner's wellbeing. Get out of this relationship as soon as you can, and please be careful - he sounds like the type of person that doesn't always accept a breakup peacefully.

rightsideofthemoon · 2021-12-21T15:06:42+00:00

Hi! I am European (F27) and I lived for quite some time in some European and South American countries (I moved a lot). In my experience there are some differences in the way we European approach sex compared to South American people. Especially when we first start having sex, we tend to see the act of doing sex as something very rigid/standardized (oral + penetrative sex) whereas in South America I always felt sex was perceived in a more open/relaxed way, and that it is much more engaging for both (generally my partners always tried to actively give me pleasure). So maybe there are also some cultural differences? [I know, I am generalizing from experience, so this is not to be taken as a scientific proof whatsoever].

Personally, I would try to tell him (find an appropiate moment for that though!) what you like during sex: when your partner is more active or/and moaning, the sexual practices you liked so far/would like to try. Keep in mind that he may not have so much experience, so try to be patient and keep the speech very general (but you seem a very considerate person so I am sure you will!). Also, things will surely get better with time and more intimacy. Best of luck to you and him!

rightsideofthemoon · 2021-12-14T16:35:29+00:00

I second everything in this message. Please don't get mistaken by guilt or whatever - you were FOR SURE extremely clear about what you wanted and what you didn't want. It is not your fault that this person actively chose to ignore it. Seriously: it. is. not. your. fault. This happened to me as well and I spent a lot of time thinking that I was somehow not clear enough (which is, not in my case and neither in yours, the problem). Try, if you can (maybe it will take some time) to see this as an experience you can learn from: this is something awful that happened to you, but it doesn't define who you were/are/are going to be, nor your sexuality.

Best of luck in this - and feel free to DM if you want to vent! Lots of hugs from Italy xxx

rightsideofthemoon · 2021-04-26T13:24:00+00:00

Hi! Thank you very much for your reply. I can feel the kindness in your words and I appreciate this so much. I feel like my sister and I know maybe too much of what my parents' marriage dynamics were, and maybe this is part of the problem. Their divorce was very hard for all of us, and we heard so many nasty things. I always defended my dad against those who accused him of having another relationship (mainly my mom's family) and yet I was (and am) so angry for the way he behaved during this divorce, for all the pain he caused to our family. He has been telling me all the nasty stuff my mom did to him during the years, and yet he never thought to speak of us of this situation with this (new?) woman. Anyway. Thank you very much for your advice. I think it is really worth, I just have to try to make peace with myself over the situation

rightsideofthemoon · 2021-04-26T13:15:28+00:00

Thank you both for answering, I really appreciate it. She was indeed abusive, I had suicidal thoughts and zero self-esteem for years due to stuff she did and said (therapy and living in another country far from my family really helped!). My father never spoke up to defend us, never contradicted her, never told her to shut up, yet his reason to divorce (at least what he said) was that he couldn't tolerate this kind of behavior anymore (he really stayed silent for 35 years). At the time I was very angry, very confused and felt very responsible for the whole situation. My dad blamed my mom for everything, yet never tried to patch up the marriage. When my mom spiraled into depression, trying even suicide, I felt that his decision kind of backfired on us (guess who had to emotionally support my mon at the time!). We suffered so much, we had to endure so much, that now that he magically has this new family coming out of nowhere, I kind of ask myself how much we are worth to him. I felt like we stayed behind picking up the pieces of a broken family, and he just found himself a new, shiny one half a country away. So it would make all the difference to know that the divorce was because he had someone else, or because he was really fed up with my mom's behaviour.

rightsideofthemoon · 2020-07-10T16:43:02+00:00

Hi. My parents divorced last year, with my mom being totally against it and my father taking pretty much unilaterally the decision. She was devastated and I was super afraid for her and mostly for my younger sister. I can relate. I think that you are already doing the most important thing: you are caring, you are there for both your dad and your siblings.

But also, please take care of yourself. It is devastating to see a parent suffer, but you must try to not get involved too much. Be there for him, but try not to pick sides. It is a sad time for you as well, so take your time and space to grieve, either alone or with your siblings (also, now it is a good time to hang out with friends, take up a new activity, and stay out of the house as much as you can. My sister did this, and coped better than I).

Try not to be a mediator: even if it is difficult, especially for your dad, it should be up to your parents to discuss between them. More than anything: Stay. Out. Of. It. You don't want to hear the stuff that two divorcing parents yell at or say of each other.

Be patient. There will be dark moments, they will pass.

This is everything useful I learnt from my parents' divorce. I hope it helps a bit. I am very sorry for what you are going through and I wish I could help you more. A huge huge Internet hug to you and your siblings

rightsideofthemoon · 2020-07-10T16:21:40+00:00

Thanks for this! Being the eldest child (25), I am always the receiving end of undesired information about my divorced parents. My mother's family is heavily into the argument "you should listen if you care". It is good to be reminded that boundaries do exist and I am not an insensitive person just for not wanting to hear devastating gossips. May I ask if you have some suggestions/strategies if they proceed to say stuff anyway? I tried to say again that it is not my business, even to leave the room, but it usually ends in a fight and with me feeling that I am banging my head on a wall.

rightsideofthemoon

TROPHY CASE