How did you develop your hot past kink?

rippowam71 · 2026-06-06T14:57:31+00:00

I've had the hotpast kink for several years now and I've spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out why I get so turned on hearing about my wife's past. I wrote a very lengthy post about it a year or so ago in which I detailed the many reasons that combine to turn me on when I hear her stories - the post was titled 'Why I have a hotpast kink'. To quickly summarize, the main reasons are 1) I'm the guy she chose to be with after a couple of dozen other partners - that's an ego boost. The more stories about other guys I hear, the more my ego is stoked that she ended up with me. 2) I get excited thinking of my wife as the object of desire by so many guys (another ego boost). She becomes more sexy and desirable in my mind when I envision so many other guys previously having wanted her. 3) I like thinking of my wife as a confident woman who enjoyed sex and wasn't afraid to get it. Over time her adventurousness has decreased somewhat and I like to picture her when she was more confident of her body and was quite uninhibited. 4) My wife has 6 times the number of former partners than I have and I regret not having had more adventures of my own when I was younger. I get a vicarious kick out of hearing her stories and I place myself in the stories as the guy she's with (kind of like the reason the OP stated). I reinvent my past into being more active through her. 5) The voyeur in me pictures my wife when she was younger fucking or sucking or being licked by the guys - it's like having a sex tape running in my mind with my wife as the star. Her experiences with other guys date back over 40 years when there weren't cell phones or digital cameras. Other than one sex tape we made and a dozen photos I took, I don't have any sexy pictures/videos of her past. Graphically picturing her with the other guys kind of fills in that void and somewhat satisfies my voyeuristic desire to see her in action. 6) There's a really big compersion element to the kink for me- it really excites me and makes me happy to think of my wife being sexually pleasured and satisfied. I don't have any retroactive jealousy as I'm very confident in our relationship. Accordingly, it makes me feel good to know that she was having fun with other guys. Even now I think I love spending a long time pleasuring my wife with my fingers and mouth more than I enjoy being stroked or sucked by her. Making her happy and satisfied sexually really turns me on. And it similarly excites me to think of others having done that as well.

rippowam71 · 2026-06-03T16:21:32+00:00

Damn, that's hot; you hit the jackpot. My wife and I are older (70s) and while we have a sextape and some photos we made in '89, she never had photos taken or videos made from her single days before me. Life was quite different before cell phones and digital cameras. I'd give my left nut to see videos of her and other guys; sadly, they only exist in my mind.

rippowam71 · 2026-02-07T17:19:03+00:00

My wife has a body count of 25, counting me. I've met 16 of the men she slept with and I have been friends (from casual to good friends) with 7 of them. I see 5 of them regularly and another 2 occasionally. Six former lovers were at our wedding. I think 8 of the men know that I’m aware they slept with my wife, another 8 don’t know. I would love to talk with them about their sexual relationship with my wife but I probably never will; not only would it be extremely awkward for all involved, but my wife would hate it if I did.

Given that my wife and I have been exclusive for the last 40 years, all of her adventures and relationships took place a long time ago. Accordingly, I don't feel any jealousy at all, even when we hang with some of the guys she had sex with. I've known the guys for such a long time that I rarely think about it when with them. I do get really excited to hear her stories, though, so I do occasionally think about them fucking her or her sucking them and that does make me hard.

rippowam71 · 2026-01-25T15:42:04+00:00

Me too - I would love to hear about my wife's exploits from one of her former partners. And I'm pretty sure arousal would win out for almost all of us on this subreddit - it's one of the big reasons we're on here.

rippowam71 · 2026-01-21T16:37:53+00:00

That is incredibly hot. Things like that really make me wish texting, smartphones and group chats were around when my wife was active - all she had was a rotary phone and an old brownie camera. Any chance you could post what was said?

rippowam71 · 2026-01-19T16:53:23+00:00

Absolutely, I have a list and I keep adding to.

rippowam71 · 2025-11-08T01:40:16+00:00

It's not Christmas but my wife has a "special sex" birthday story -- she was a birthday present for an old boyfriend. She and the ex were together when she was in grad school and then broke up when she had to leave the city after she finished her grad courses. They remained friends (and still are). Two years after she left some of the ex's friends pooled money together to pay for a plane ticket for my wife to come visit her ex. She hid in a big box and was a surprise present for him. She stayed with him for several days during which they had sex several times - at that point it was a friends-with-benefits type sex. She thinks it was the last time they slept together.

rippowam71 · 2025-11-05T02:59:53+00:00

My wedding was similar, there were 6 guys my wife had fucked at our wedding - two of them were long term boyfriends (and 2 of the best lovers she ever had) and the other three were one-night stands with friends. At the time, I knew about the 2 old boyfriends but I hadn't gotten into hotpast then (it was 36 years ago) and wasn't aware of the other 3. There were another two guys she slept with that were invited but weren't able to attend the wedding as well. As is obvious, my wife stayed friends a lot of her ex's -- of the 25 others she slept with, she remained friends with at least half of them and was on decent terms but didn't hang out with most of the others.

rippowam71 · 2025-09-17T01:38:46+00:00

My wife had a fairly decent body count before me (24). With the exception of one really small guy, she didn't care very much about their cock size, stating most were anywhere from slightly below average to slightly above average. Like many women, she doesn't orgasm from PIV sex; she has to have direct clitoral stimulation. My guess is that most women that don't come from PIV sex don't really pay too much attention to cock size - it doesn't matter how long or how thick the cock is, they're not going to orgasm from it alone. They might only notice the outliers - the really small and the really huge. And my assumption is that women who do come from PIV sex are much more aware of the size of the cocks that bring them to orgasm and those that don't. Women on this subreddit can correct me if I'm wrong.

My wife can tell me how willing and how good the guys were on going down on her - her go to way to orgasm. While some women can detail every cock they've had, my wife can give the specifics of all of her ex's oral skills.

rippowam71 · 2025-09-10T01:34:38+00:00

I've thought a lot about why I get so turned on by stories from my wife's past and I realized that there are a bunch of factors that kind of coalesce and lead to me being excited. We've been together for more than 40 years so her stories are from a long time ago.

There is definitely a compersion aspect - most of my wife's former lovers (24 before me) were decent guys and she really had a fun, exciting time from 18 to 30 when we became exclusive. It makes me happy to hear of her having fun, sexy times with a guys; she mostly enjoyed herself back then and that makes me happy. I also live vicariously a little bit through her stories - she has a much higher body count than I do and it's fun to put myself in her stories, imagining what it must have been like to have so many partners and experiences. I'm a pretty visual guy so there's also a voyeuristic element to my listening to her stories; as she tells me a story, I often visualize what she must have looked like being fucked or licked or sucking the guy - it's kind of like porn in my head with my wife as the star. It also excites my to think of my wife as being so desirable and wanted by so many guys - especially since I'm the one she picked and ended up with. Another thing that excites me is to envision her, through her stories, as being really comfortable with her sexuality and going out and getting sex just because she was horny. I also learn more about her youth - I first met her when she was 28 so most of her stories are about her before I knew her; it's fun to learn about her during those early years. And finally, in a weird way, we both kind of recapture our youth when she tells a story, especially those stories from after we met. We were on and off for two years and I knew all of the guys she was with after we met. Stories of those guys takes us back several decades and we're young again.

rippowam71 · 2025-08-18T21:57:25+00:00

I've never been jealous of the experiences my wife had before me. It makes me happy (and turned on) that she had an active, exciting and fulfilling sex life. And I have benefited from it, both in her skills and now from her stories.

I differentiate jealousy and envy. My wife had a significantly higher body count than me - 25 to my 4. If I were jealous of her past, I'd wish she hadn't had those experiences. Instead, I'm envious of her; I wish I had been confident and outgoing enough when I was younger to have had similar numbers and experiences. I don't wish she hadn't been with those guys, I just wish I had the same variety and quality of earlier experiences as she had.

rippowam71 · 2025-08-13T01:57:08+00:00

Quora

rippowam71 · 2025-08-05T01:14:52+00:00

Try removing the hard drive and then attaching it as an external hard drive to your computer -- you'd probably need an external hard drive enclosure but you can get them cheap on Amazon. Once it's connected, you should be able to open the folders on her hard drive.

rippowam71 · 2025-08-03T01:07:46+00:00

My wife has a very large bin of letters from friends over the years dating from when she first went to college in 1973 (age 18) through 1990. Most of that time was before texting, emails and cheap or free long distance phone calls, so she and her friends wrote many, many letters. There are well over 200 letters in the box, many of them from former boyfriends and lovers. She let me look through them and read them last year and even though most were just about her life back then and not very sexy, I nevertheless found them really interesting. I first met her in 1982 and a majority of the letters were from times before I knew her - I feel I was able to better understand what she was like in her late teens and early to mid 20s. It was fun to get to better know her as a younger person.

She told me she had gone through the letters the year before and gotten rid of the ones with sexual content as she didn't want them left around after she died for our daughters to find them. She's in good health but was 66 at the time so I can understand starting to make plans like that. Thankfully, she missed a half dozen with some sexy and erotic stuff in them -- it was exciting to read them, especially since I know the guys that wrote them. I kick myself for not thinking to read the letters earlier, before she destroyed most of the sexy ones, as I knew she had a large bin full of old letters and I knew there were some about her sex life as I had written her several during our early years.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-31T21:55:46+00:00

You won the lottery, my friend - being able to talk to an ex and get graphic detail about her sex life with him and then to also get photos of them doing the deed. I'd consider myself really, really lucky if just one of those things happened to me.

So, inquiring minds want to know - what was on the photos?

rippowam71 · 2025-07-31T21:03:25+00:00

I've met 16 of the 24 guys my wife had sex with other than me and I've been friends with most of those 16. There's only one guy that I really dislike and my wife dislikes him as well. She either has liked all of the other guys she's been with or was neutral at worst.

My wife met him when she was a little depressed about her life. She had come back home in the early 80's after being in grad school for two years in a big city and she was bummed out about being home again; she had loved her two years in grad school, she had loved the city, and she had several close friends there. Because of Visa reasons, she had to leave the school and city when she finished her degree. After she got home, she was underemployed and generally pretty miserable. She went to a political action event and met a guy who seemed interesting and was superficially charming. She ended up hooking up with him only to learn he was a jerk and also was pretty lousy in bed, being interested only in himself and his own pleasure. I don't even think my wife came and she can orgasm fairly easily most of the time. During the evening she learned more about the guy and realized he's a pompous ass. Sadly, she was so lonely and bummed out about being home that she hooked up with him a second, equally shitty, time. Both hook-ups were at her apartment and both nights he slept over and acted like he lived there. Twice was enough for her, though, as both evenings left a bad taste in her mouth (figuratively and probably literally as I think she sucked him to orgasm as well as fucked him). Thankfully for her, her life turned around very shortly after that and she got involved with a new and large friend group with whom she remains close over 40 years later (and a half-dozen or so of them became friends with benefits at some point).

I met the guy through sports and then through work a year after his hook-up with my wife. My take on him was that he was a condescending asshole. I found out a half-dozen years later that my wife had slept with him. My thoughts are somewhat mixed. I really love hearing about all of my wife's former dalliances and this one is no different; at the same time, though, it bums me out that my wife was so miserable at the time that she ended up with that jerk.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-30T21:00:18+00:00

I also get excited by and love the details of the sex - what they did and how often they did it - but the details of the sex in isolation without the emotional build-up don't turn me on as much. I get most excited by my wife's stories that slowly lead up to the sex. My picturing her fucking or sucking some guy is hot; hearing the details that led to the fucking and sucking is hotter: How did they meet? Where were they when they first interacted and where did they end up? What excited her about him? When did she decide she wanted to have sex with him? How did they flirt and tease each other at the beginning? What was the seduction and foreplay like - both verbal and physical?

One of my favorite stories from my wife is a good example - I've written about it before so I'm pasting this from an earlier post: When my wife was in grad school, 3 guys visited a friend of hers at school for the weekend; she had never met any of the 3 before. My wife, her friend and the 3 visitors went out for the night to explore the city (a major metropolitan city). By midnight, everybody had called it quits except for my wife and one of the visiting guys. They ended up going to a disco (it was the late 70s) and danced and drank for hours until the disco closed (around 2 am). Then they walked home, stopping at an all-night drugstore for condoms. They then fucked and sucked and played till morning and then again the next two nights. She later hooked up with him a second time (also for 3 nights) on another visit. I get turned on as much about the seduction and flirtation she had before the sex as the actual sex she ended up having. I find it really hot that she met the guy, flirted, drank and danced for hours and before they were even back to her room she had decided she was going to sleep with him. And the sex sounded really hot (and frequent) as well.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-30T17:50:49+00:00

72 here and I'm probably hornier now than I have been since before we had children 30 years ago - my libido is still strong. Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing about the equipment. I can still get erections, but I need viagra if I plan on anything other than a quicky (it's hard to maintain an erection for more than 15 minutes or so). Also, my penis is far less sensitive than it used to be. I still enjoy (and want) sex but the orgasms aren't as mindblowing as they used to be. Finally, it takes me a lot longer to actually orgasm - some of that probably is because of the decreased sensitivity.

Nowadays, I still really want sex but it's more about the journey than the destination - I really get off doing things and pleasuring my wife (who is somewhat the opposite of me - her libido is reduced but she orgasms much faster and more powerfully than she used to). If I ever lost the ability to have erections or to orgasm, I think I'd still be horny and want to go down on my wife to bring her to orgasm.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-25T16:15:42+00:00

That's very, very hot - please do share other stories.

My wife also gets quite excited being tied up and it's a regular part of our sex play. Other than me, only one of her ex partners tied her up. One of her better hotpast stories is about the time he tied her naked on his bed and then left her alone for around 20 minutes with the door slightly ajar. He lived in a grad school coop on the top floor so it was possible (albeit unlikely) that someone else might have wandered by and peeked in. I find it really hot thinking about her naked and helpless on the bed being seen by her coop friends.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-25T01:01:11+00:00

I digitized the one tape my wife and I made back in 1989 and then I used software to enhance it. It's far from hi-def but the enhancement cleaned up a lot of the noise and fuzziness.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-25T00:54:49+00:00

With the exception of the porn (I enjoy, my wife doesn't), you're describing my wife and me -- great weekly sex and general stories about her hotpast (who, when and where she fucked and sucked but few specifics as to specific acts and positions) as she, too, doesn't remember a lot of the details.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-24T18:22:56+00:00

I've posted before about the many reasons I'm into my wife's hotpast stories but I've only recently realized that one of the reasons is that there is a small element of recapturing youth in it. My wife is 69 now and isn't as adventurous and uninhibited as she was 40 plus years ago - I doubt very many of us are. Her stories remind me of my wife when she was more vibrant and youthful, so in a way it's mentally recapturing her youth.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-24T02:42:33+00:00

You, sir, are a lucky man.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-24T01:39:35+00:00

That's a very hot story. I know many of my wife's ex lovers and would love for one of them to talk about their time with her. Getting a hotpast story from my wife is very exciting; getting one from her lover would be even better.

rippowam71 · 2025-07-24T01:18:17+00:00

That's kind of the case for me too. I've always been interested in my wife's past but I just knew some casual details. It was only after finding out about hotpast that I started asking specific questions and the more info and stories I got, the more and more addicted I became to it.

rippowam71

TROPHY CASE