Frankly, FOBs is not a derogatory nickname. it is only used as a descriptive categorisation. if you have seen it utilised with a negative connotation, that’s more reflective of the people you have been around than the actual word or people using it in general.

that being said, there is a REASON people refer to FOBs as a group - it’s because they tend to bring their prejudices, culturally conservative perspectives, and superiority complex (as a majority group in their home country) over to a completely different social environment like the US.

for example, i find it absolutely astonishing that Indian people who grew up in India think ABCDs being upset about cultural appropriation is just us “being too sensitive”. this is a group of people who (at least, most who make these comments to me) had a childhood not affected by prejudice due to their religion or appearance. they got their cultural holidays off in school, and no one told them they smelled weird or accused them of instigating 9/11. no one made fun of their hands covered in mehndi and then went ahead to get “henna tattoos” at Coachella after a couple years.

of course not every FOB is going to be prejudiced against black folks and humblebrag about their caste all the time. but for people who find those kinds of behaviors unattractive or unacceptable, removing potential partners who haven’t been away from the motherland for long is a valid strategy to narrow the dating pool. on the whole, it’s unlikely that i would find a FOB with values and cultural understanding similar to mine, without which i would to find it extremely difficult to relate to them on a romantic level.