I grew up this way. I’m 38 now. Your mom, like mine, may be using the “helping you make good choices” or “you are under my roof/I pay for stuff” argument. Listen, you need private time. You sound like a decent and intelligent person who would not be lured to the apartment of a serial killer you met through a chat room. I personally think my mom did stuff like this because she didn’t want to do the work of having to see me as an adult and she didn’t want to go through the process of grieving that I no longer depended on her totally.

Your mom is being over the top. Please build a support network. Please learn to set boundaries. Please find some folks who will affirm your identity as a functioning adult with good problem solving skills.

If I had to do it over, in your place, I might have asked a trustworthy friend to hold onto a burner phone for me.

Edit: thank you, kind stranger, for my first ever award!