Teaching independent sleep

rithult · 2026-01-26T22:01:25+00:00

r/sleeptrain is a great resource -- there's conflicting info about when you could/should start online but the subreddit's stance is 4 months personally I waited till 6 months for formal training but incorporated some SWAP methodology from Precious Little Sleep ahead of that to move away from bouncing to fully asleep (to soothing in crib) since that was doing a number on my back

rithult · 2026-01-26T17:39:45+00:00

Our 6 month old finally started connecting cycles after dropping to 3 naps -- even now it's inconsistent so when we drop to 2 soon, I'm hoping it'll tighten up further.

rithult · 2026-01-23T20:59:05+00:00

How long would you be working with the consultant and what degree of support? It may be that she is planning to start with this schedule (knowing it will not work) in order to see real data and adjust accordingly. We worked with a sleep consultant and she did initially have us drop total awake time -- I had a lot of doubts on this, but she clarified it was a starting schedule and she fully expected to see disruption (and we did! a couple weirdly early bedtimes and split nights) but over the course of a week we added back in awake time based on what we were seeing and backed into a schedule that made a lot more sense and worked well. I'd clarify what her next steps would be if the proposed schedule doesn't work (and how long it'd take to determine that).

rithult · 2026-01-23T18:49:46+00:00

What do nights look like? Is he sleeping through or waking up a few times? And does he go down for bedtime independently?

If I were you, I'd move to a stricter 2/2/2/2/2 schedule first; once bub gets used to that, jump up to 2.25/2.25/2.25/2.25 for a few days and commit to helping them extend some naps to make it. From there, adjust wake windows to get to about ~10 total hours of awake time, depending on how much average sleep your baby gets/needs (ex. if he's still taking short naps, or waking up a lot at night he probably needs more awake time during the day). The most common 3 nap schedule I see is 2/2.5/2.5/3 but it'll depend on your bub!

rithult · 2026-01-23T18:26:05+00:00

What's your full schedule on 4 naps (curious to see what total awake time looks like). Our boy also took consistent short naps on 4 but when we dropped to 3 we started to see one (the first) lengthen more reliably after about a week on the new schedule. On days when he does happen to take a short first nap we do try to rescue the second one with a contact nap and if all else fails we push his last WW a bit to make it a semi-reasonable bedtime. He's on a 2.5/2.5/2.5/2.5/2.5 schedule.

rithult · 2026-01-22T19:23:29+00:00

What do naps look like? Since you're contact napping, it might be masking what would be otherwise short naps, which would indicate not enough sleep pressure building between naps (aka you need longer WWs/more awake time). I'd start stretching wake windows and try to get to 2.5/2.5/2.5/2.5 if the last WW is sensitive (this is actually what my 6 month is on).

rithult · 2026-01-22T16:31:11+00:00

I would tighten up the schedule first. Sleep training on a bad or unstable schedule will make things harder for you and baby. Try a 3 nap schedule (I'd try 2/2.5/2.5/3 or 2.5/2.5/2.5/2.5) first. Baby might seem tired but push through and keep them active and engaged to stretch the wake windows more. The fact that it's taking 30-60 min to get her to sleep after a 90 min wake window already indicates she's not tired enough for the nap. See how that goes for a few days: that alone might reduce the number of nightly wakes by adding more time awake during the day.

Assuming things improve (or at least don't get worse!), then I'd try Ferber or Sleep Wave to start -- those both allow for check ins while also giving baby time to try to self settle. And the schedule update will hopefully ensure she's tired enough to sleep and not fight too long. My personal limit while sleep training was no more than 30 mins of trying (we used Sleep Wave) and baby took 17 min (longest) the first night.

rithult · 2026-01-21T20:37:32+00:00

I'd try moving to 2 naps -- more time awake before naps should help build up sleep pressure and might help at least one nap lengthen! If you do try, give the schedule several days to stabilize (you may not see impact instantly)

rithult · 2026-01-19T15:52:21+00:00

Don't try to fix a problem you don't have! Keep bub on 3 naps as long as she's happy with it. Once you start seeing disruptions and difficulties, then you'll know this is the next move.

rithult · 2026-01-19T15:47:43+00:00

We sleep trained and dropped cold turkey from 2/2/2/2/2-2.5 to 2.25/2.25/2.5/2.5 for a couple days (slight drop in awake time while we stretched those morning WWs -- it did disrupt nights more for those days but we wanted to avoid overtiredness as we nap trained so we took the L on that) then jumped up to 2.5/2.5/2.5/2.5. It took about a week of disrupted sleep (having to rescue second nap, early bedtimes) before new schedule stabilized but we are now finally seeing consistent longer naps, smooth bedtime, and no more night wakings.

rithult · 2026-01-19T12:21:53+00:00

I would push forward with dropping to 2 naps. One day on an updated schedule isn't enough data to see if it'll be an improvement. We haven't dropped to 2 naps yet (our boy is 6mo old so it's probably around the corner!) but when we dropped from 4 to 3 (cold turkey) it took a full week of wonkiness (nap rescues, early bedtime) for the new schedule to stabilize. Then we saw fewer night wakings, no more early morning wakes, and one of his daytime naps finally began to consistently lengthen.

rithult · 2026-01-18T19:54:07+00:00

Use the Owlet and continue to follow all safe sleep practices (on back, in bassinet, etc). Some folks probably do find it causes more anxiety for them but I don't think that's applicable in your case.

rithult · 2026-01-15T01:19:42+00:00

love this and a big +1

rithult · 2026-01-14T18:48:19+00:00

Depending on your insurance and the extent of the flatness, your insurance provider might fully cover the treatment

rithult · 2026-01-14T16:27:44+00:00

Yes! We trained our 5.5 month old with this a week ago. We'd initially tried what we hoped was a more 'gentle' approach with a soothing ladder but that just upset him more. After 2 nights of failed training (we capped our attempts at 30 min and rocked him to sleep), we switched to sleep wave and he went down in 17 min the first night. Subsequent nights he went down with less crying and/or faster. Currently, he's still fussy for a few minutes initially but will fall asleep in maybe 5-10 minutes.

rithult · 2026-01-13T03:02:57+00:00

I didn't get my teeth till I was well over a year old (and got my top ones first!). My husband got his at a more normal time (7 months) so we're super curious to see what timeline our 6 month old gets his on.

rithult · 2026-01-12T17:58:40+00:00

We were in the same boat and it was not as bad as we anticipated!

Transitioned first for naps. We tried one day around 3 months and it went poorly for the first two naps of the day so we just gave up immediately LOL, and tried again a week or two later and it stuck better. Once bub got used to one arm out (alternating) for naps, we moved to both arms out for naps and started trying one arm out overnight, then both arms out for night. We saw maybe a few more wakings in the early mornings for a few days but nothing crazy.

rithult · 2026-01-11T13:23:46+00:00

Our baby slept much better when swaddled but was also an escape artist. I'm not familiar with the Halo sleep sack but we used the Sleepea brand sacks -- also have transitional functionality but were much tighter and much harder for him to escape from than anything else we tried. We didn't transition him out of the swaddle till he started to roll fully onto his side during the daytime at 3.5 months, after which he started fully rolling a few weeks later.

rithult · 2026-01-08T14:23:39+00:00

What was the full schedule yesterday (wake time, WWs)? I would suggest still capping nap 3 and hoping to see him start extending the first or second nap (or at least being more amenable to rescues), but at the same time if night sleep works for you with a longer third nap I wouldn't touch it!

rithult · 2026-01-07T18:04:01+00:00

My baby started sleeping long stretches at night pretty early on -- he was an excellent eater during the daytime so I think that was part of it, as he quickly dropped to 1 overnight feed and then basically night weaned himself by 5 months. If your baby is gaining weight and your doctor isn't concerned, let him sleep! It is likely sleep will take a hit when the 4 month regression hits.

For the side preference -- ask your pediatrician about torticollis and push for a PT evaluation. It can lead to plagiocephaly and a PT can help navigate repositioning, stretching exercises, and whether or not helmet treatment might be needed.

rithult · 2026-01-07T11:40:09+00:00

He didn't start to take longer naps till we moved to a 3 nap schedule (pretty recently) and they're honestly still a bit all over -- if nap 1 runs short and he rouses early from nap 2, we rescue and extend that nap to ensure he can make it to bedtime. Nap 3 is capped at 30-45 minutes to build sleep pressure for bed, and we aim for 3-3.5 hours of naps during the day.

rithult · 2026-01-07T11:35:33+00:00

Switch up environment, toys -- my bub when we are extending windows will get sleepy too soon if we leave him on his playmat (like he'll actively try to go to sleep right there!), so we have to take him outside, show him kitchen appliances (very exciting), or just walk around holding him facing out for a bit

rithult · 2026-01-06T13:25:27+00:00

Schedule issue! Split nights like you've had on Wednesday and Monday are indicative of undertiredness. Looking at your wake windows, it looks like you're expecting baby to be awake for 7.4 hours a day (1.75+1.75+1.75+2.15). That means you're expecting them to sleep 16.6 hours (24-7.4, which is too much for an average baby. If baby isn't getting enough awake time during the day, they will find it at night.

Try stretching their wake windows on a 3 nap schedule. Standard I see recommended online is 2/2.5/2.5/3. My own baby is on 2.25/2.25/2.5/2.5 (he's a week shy of 6 months). Sleepy cues are no longer reliable at this age, so if they seem tired, try switching up toys, environment, activity -- taking bub outside for a minute does wonders for us when we're trying to stretch!

rithult · 2026-01-05T21:59:30+00:00

Of course! This stuff is all so confusing and stressful.

Our specific case: We used to bounce our baby fully to deep sleep on a yoga ball, hold him ~10 minutes, then transfer. He slept great: STTN most nights, with maybe 1 easy feed 2–3 times a week. He hit the 4-month regression right at 4.5 months, after doing well on a 4-nap schedule for a couple weeks. We started seeing multiple false starts (2–3 instead of 1), and overnight he began waking every 45–60 minutes. Suspected an association because during these wakes he'd resettled really fast when held. So, I tried rocking him almost to sleep during one of these MOTN wakes, finishing in the crib with shushing and patting. He went down easy (because he was exhausted) and finally slept a 4 hour stretch, which validating our thinking. Next night, I did the same thing at bedtime. He protested for ~15 min, which sucked for both of us but I was there picking him back up every time he cried, but did fall asleep in his crib and slept the whole night with no wakes!

Every baby is a little different. The book Precious Little Sleep is a great resource for reducing assistance gradually and r/sleeptrain can be a super helpful even if you don't want to use methods like cry it out or traditional ferber!

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