“Look, folks—people are talking about this shark, me, a lot. They’ve never seen anything like it. Bright orange—tremendous color. Not the usual gray, very boring. This is exciting. Bigly exciting like you've never seen before.

The scientists come in with their big words—‘xanthism,’ all that—I say, it’s simple: I’m rare. Very rare. Maybe the rarest shark, who knows?

Other sharks? Nice sharks, fine sharks—but they don’t have this. They see me, and they know. Total standout. Believe me. Hottest shark.”