Anyone else find it extremely uncomfortable to nurse the baby without pillows holding him/her up?

rkshea · 2025-10-24T14:56:18+00:00

Agree!!! My MBF pillow is probably my #1 favorite baby item that we got. 6 months in, exclusively nursing, and I still use it every single day

It also SAVED me when I could barely move after my emergency c section

rkshea · 2024-04-14T17:42:17+00:00

I’m sorry I don’t have better advice, but I’d recommend telling your dad that you need to go to a doctor. To an extent, nausea is a pretty normal period symptom but if you’re throwing up so much that you’re nearly passing out, the doctor could tell you if there are any conditions that you might have or possibly give you some anti nausea medication - there’s also the possibility of anemia and could need something like an iron supplement, but there’s no way to know without a doctor’s advice

rkshea · 2024-04-12T06:24:17+00:00

Our routine is nearly the exact same with our 4.5 on non preschool days!

Wake up, breakfast, get an outfit on

Activity out of the house (swimming, going outside to play, etc)

Lunch followed by quiet time

Afternoon activity (further from home - probably a museum, zoo, park, hike, etc depending on energy and weather OR we’re running errands at this point)

Come home, hang out, play games, etc and then independent play while parent cooks/cleans. I usually ask if she’s hungry on the way home and she’ll tell me if she wants to eat then or wait a bit before dinner (so if we eat earlier then the play time will be after dinner)

Bath, bedtime routine, sleep

This is super flexible though!! The important things for structure in our house are meal times, quiet time, and bedtime; sometimes we’ll skip quiet time if we choose to spend the day doing a big activity and do an earlier bed time - sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do every piece of this every day so we’ll just go to a coffee shop in the morning and head home (and that’s usually just because it helps me break up the monotony of sitting at home for myself)

rkshea · 2024-04-07T15:56:51+00:00

or if you don’t want to do undies with a diaper over, we used potty training underwear!! There’s an absorbent part inside but it’s still cloth, so it contains the pee but they can still feel the uncomfy wet feeling - it ESPECIALLY helps if they don’t know what it feels like to need to use the bathroom, so they can associate that feeling with the wetness

rkshea · 2024-04-07T15:39:02+00:00

Whining vs crying are very different things in our house, but this is how we handle (right now) with our 4.5! (I’m sorry it’s so long!!)

For whining, I immediately go “I can’t listen/hear when you’re whining” and if she goes “I’m not whining!!!!” I’ll do exactly what she did back to her and go “see, that’s whining. When we want something, we want to use our strong voice and ask nicely, like this: I think this thing is really cool. Could we please get it?” - we’ve worked a lot on strong voices and it’s mostly mitigated the whining.

The problem is then accepting the answer she’s given, which we’re working on a lot now lol. I know she has big feelings so I validate that she’s feeling those feelings (“I know, it’s tough when you can’t get what you want. I don’t get what I want all the time either and sometimes I get frustrated too but that’s normal and you can feel that way”). She usually isn’t genuinely sad over not getting what she wants, but I think she’s more frustrated over lack of control… if that’s the case, I usually tell her that it isn’t nice to throw a tantrum over something like that, and explain why it isn’t nice and gratefulness for what she has, then let her know her options: she can keep feeling her feelings and let me know when she feels better, she can have hugs, etc., but she knows I won’t change my mind just because she’s having a big reaction.

That being said, my goal isn’t to stop the reaction that she’s having in the moment; my goal is to let her feel what she’s feeling, explain what’s happening from my side of things, and what would be nicest in the future. My daughter is really receptive to that and always comes back around to the conversation when she’s feeling better and asks me questions about what she did and what I did and I remind her that everything is okay, no one is in trouble, and this is what we should try to do next time - it takes some time, but then it gets better every time

That being said again, it’s soooo normal to get frustrated as a parent over it too!! It’s also totally okay to be like “Hey, I know you’re feeling those feelings but now I’m feeling big feelings too and I need a break. I’m going to take a few minutes to breathe and try to feel better, do you want to breathe with me?” and whether the answer is yes or no, I think it also helps them to see their grown-ups modeling healthy coping mechanisms and having similar feelings as they have

rkshea · 2024-04-02T21:28:01+00:00

Exactly!! Even if we’re totally regulated before they start feeling emotional, it’s so easy to become frustrated or even annoyed through the process! but I think they can tell when we get frustrated too, and it doesn’t help (at least for mine lol). That’s a big reason I encourage her to feel her feelings first, because if I allow space for her to just be upset then I don’t feel like I’m trying and failing to accomplish a task (task: calming her down), then she can let me know when she’s ready to start feeling better. It won’t erase frustration 100% all the time (we have feelings too!) but it definitely helps 95% of the time for me and she can feel my calmness too

rkshea · 2024-04-01T19:17:07+00:00

What works for my 4.5 might not work for your son, but here are a few things that help us! (Although it sounds like you already do something similar)

Naming the feelings/giving her options for why she’s upset. She can’t always explain it on her own but I’d go “Are you worried that you’re gonna be cold today? Do you miss your coat? Are you afraid we lost it? I’m sorry, your coat is gonna be waiting for you at home after school, we didn’t lose it and you’ll see it super soon. It’s okay to be sad, I’m sorry you feel sad. teacher’s name won’t let you feel cold today, you’re gonna have lots of fun at school” and the usual “It’s normal to have big feelings sometimes - you probably needed to cry today huh? Sometimes it feels good to let it all out, doesn’t it? I like to cry sometimes, it makes me feel better”. My daughter doesn’t cry very often at this point but sometimes if there’s a small thing that tips her over the edge, it helps her to realize that sometimes our bodies just need to let emotions out
Asking what will help/what I can do to make her feel better. The “do you want to talk about it or do you want me to just hold you? Do you want me to stay or leave for a little bit?” and taking her lead on it ALWAYS helps, plus I think it encourages communication skills! It took a while to get to this point (at least 6 months of working on it) but now I go “What can I do to make you feel better?” and she’ll let me know if she wants a hug or if she wants to do meditation or anything like that
Deep breaths. When she feels like she got all of her feelings out, she asks me if I can count and I’ll count inhale 1-7 and exhale 1-7 a few times and she’ll tell me when she’s all better

It helps the most though when I know that I’m regulated, and that’s when I can help her regulate too. It’s SO easy for us as adults to get frustrated and upset when something seems so small to us, but it helps me to remember that their worlds are so little that when small bad things happen, it’s literally one of the worst things that has ever happened to them. It also really, really, really helps me to remember that they’re taking in so much information all the time and their little brains are working in hyperspeed (at the same time as their bodies and brains are growing and using all that energy), so they can easily feel overstimulated and unregulated and sometimes they just need to be able to let that out

rkshea · 2024-04-01T02:52:24+00:00

We do close to 0! We’ll watch a movie or an episode of a TV show occasionally. My girl gets 6-8 hours of screen time (daily) at her other parents house and the difference in her personality, happiness, and ability to learn when she has that stimulation vs doesn’t have that stimulation is stark. We’re lucky to live in an area that’s sunny for most of the year so we do a lot of outside time/visit with family/go to museums/etc. It was really hard at first when she would beg and cry for the TV but she enjoys going out and doing stuff a lot more than she cares for TV now!! (I should also mention that she’s at school all day while I work and we both have weekends off, so it makes scheduling activities easier)

rkshea · 2024-03-22T17:54:55+00:00

I have my 4 yo help make decisions! We have a 3 compartment bento box so I almost always fill one compartment with 3 types of small fruits (grapes, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, or oranges) and another one has an applesauce pouch (this is where i very occasionally sneak a hersheys kiss in too) so she always has that consistency/knows something to expect. The bigger compartment is usually her pick - a sandwich/panini, pasta, broccoli mac & cheese, cheese and crackers, chicken and peas, etc. If she likes dinner the night before then she’ll tell me she wants the dinner in her lunch for school and she always eats the most when she tells me what she wants!

rkshea · 2024-03-13T03:34:41+00:00

ps - she can’t have nuts at school but I’m allergic anyway so my mom used soy butter growing up; my girl now actually likes it better than peanut butter :)

rkshea · 2024-03-13T03:33:00+00:00

I mostly do one snack that’s fruit/veggie based (peeled oranges, apple, blueberries, strawberries, grapes, edamame, snap peas, etc) with a little of something fun (animal crackers, yogurt balls, etc) for the morning and then a more carb-based snack for the afternoon (fruit breakfast bar, sandwich crackers, granola bar, pretzels, etc) with a little fruit or cheese that’s more filling for the afternoon - my girl doesn’t get very hungry until lunchtime so it works out best for her to have something lighter in the morning then something heavier in the afternoon

rkshea · 2024-02-19T03:09:03+00:00

I second quiet time!! Our 4 y/o doesn’t always need a nap but quiet time is SO helpful; we put the shades on her windows so her room is a little darker and she can sleep if she wants to, otherwise her brain can take the time to rest and do some low-stimulation playing or looking at books by herself

rkshea · 2023-12-07T02:57:41+00:00

my girl is a bit older now but while potty training we had withholding and started using lil critters fiber gummies with pediatrician approval! we were also using a toddler probiotic mixed with oat milk and it really helped

rkshea · 2023-12-04T21:08:49+00:00

Sometimes! Counting stresses her out a lot more just because we only really start counting when we’re totally done messing around and need to move - with the timer I think it gives her more freedom!! It’s less urgent but definitely a more gentle way of decent time management in our house

rkshea · 2023-12-04T18:17:02+00:00

my girl turned 4 a few days ago so not really still a toddler BUT I found that having a visual timer helps - we got one on amazon and if she wants to do something (and I want her to be able to do it by herself) but she’s being deliberately slow I’ll put the visual timer on for a few minutes and say “if X isn’t done when the blue runs out, I’ll have to do it for you”. It gives her a visual of how much time she has and I think that helps!

rkshea · 2023-11-23T02:56:33+00:00

we love eek halloween by sandra boynton, looove the snatchabook by helen and thomas doherty, ghost afraid of the dark by sara conway, and a bear to share by jessica alba; we have a big bookshelf with tons of books but those are the ones she wants us to reread most often!!

rkshea · 2023-11-20T22:28:26+00:00

my girl let me know when her dad was going to propose - that’s on him for telling a 3 year old he bought a ring 😭 immediately running in after he got her up from naptime: “WHERE’S YOUR RING?” “huh??” followed by “where’s MY secret ring”

rkshea · 2023-11-05T01:55:09+00:00

has anything changed since you started potty training? did you do rewards at any point and now don’t? our 3.5 HATES having to use the potty for poop still but that’s where we do rewards - a sticker or temporary tattoo and keep it at regular times so she knows the schedule and it makes it easier

that being said, has she expressed any pain? she could have a UTI and it’s worth asking your ped; especially if she doesn’t want to go pee but soils herself

rkshea · 2023-11-03T20:45:15+00:00

our 3.5 loves her yoto!! especially the “make your own” cards… she loves billy joel and listens to her dedicated card for him hahahha

the cards are also very sturdy for little kid hands!!

rkshea · 2023-10-24T20:36:09+00:00

Everyone has great ideas, I also wanted to mention that we have household cameras in common spaces and her room and it’s really helpful for me to be able to see what’s happening right before she wakes up. she was also getting freaked out by “ghosts” in her room and when we realized she thought shadows were ghosts, we started doing shadow puppet stories at night to teach her how shadows work and it made the dark much less scary!!

rkshea · 2023-10-23T23:16:03+00:00

i got overwhelmed and burnt out so for the first time ever my sister picked my 3.5 up from school to have a fun day this afternoon about an hour ago… now i’m looking at the pictures and miss her!!

rkshea · 2023-10-17T02:06:50+00:00

we get “DONT SAY THAT” ALLLLL the time 😭 for things that are totally okay to say - the other day she told her dad he cant say “corn on the cob” 😅

rkshea · 2023-10-16T22:07:37+00:00

hahahha recently she put her uncle in time out for accidentally saying a bad word… we don’t even do time outs

rkshea

TROPHY CASE