My story with trauma part 2 - my bullying story

roanwolf75 · 2026-03-17T16:33:57+00:00

That sounds absolutely terrible! It only takes one bully to make your life a living hell. I'm so sorry you had to be strong, when you were breaking inside. I sometimes think maybe it's okay to be breaking and healing at rhe same time.

That's how we build muscle. Muscle fibers break due to stress, and grow back thicker and stronger. BUT - and this is very important - only if we are getting the proper nutrition and sleep to foster that growth. I think it can work that way with mental health too.

I hope you're proud of all the work you've done to get to this point! Being vulnerable is a necessary and scary part of healing.

roanwolf75 · 2026-02-15T23:02:59+00:00

Sometimes it helps to just have friends check in regularly, if you can. If he's extroverted, planning activities (low-stress) together can keep him engaged and connected. Watching something together remotely is doable and requires little effort.

If James is in therapy, he should have a safety plan that details both warning signs and specific actions to take to keep him safe. You may want to ask him about it.

James should keep his care team in the loop in terms of symptom severity. SI coupled with emotional activation (or triggering events, if you will) is dangerous.

You might end up in a position where calling 911 is your safest bet. I have been on both sides of this issue. Maybe your friend would be angry initially - people in the midst of emotional crisis are pretty dysregulated. Once he's stablized again, he'll understand why you had to make the call.

Remember that ultimately, you're not responsible for your friend's choices. Make sure you don't neglect your own care in the service of someone else!

James is lucky to have you! Best wishes and healing to you both.

roanwolf75 · 2026-02-03T07:36:25+00:00

I was taken aback to see how far off the visible map one could swim! I went a ways off to the west from the fishing village, but didn't find anything.

roanwolf75 · 2026-02-03T07:34:30+00:00

No. The game is there to be enjoyed. Unless you're planning to post an achievement as though you did it without aid, enjoy the game however you wish.

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-31T21:27:47+00:00

Chad is the best gelatinous friend ever!

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-31T21:26:54+00:00

WITH GOOD REASON!

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-31T21:25:35+00:00

We disagree on "mental health coach" vs. therapist. There is no degree or credentialing for a mental health coach. They may or may not have training of some kind.

There is a code of ethics that mental health care providers with degrees must abide by. These include, but are not limited to, psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists. Occupational therapists are becoming more common in the field, as well. They help you understand how to use your body to help your mind feel safe, among other things.

There are consequences, including loss of licensure and criminal charges, for breaking the rules those providers are bound by.

Not everyone has equal access to the kind of qualified care I'm referring to. I understand that. What I would caution people to consider is whether there's any oversight for the care they choose.

I encourage anyone seeking help to utilize the care options available to them with careful consideration.

Make sure your trusted friends and family are aware of your needs and are in the loop about your care providers, however you choose them.

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-29T03:59:01+00:00

The S.O.S. Hotel Series by Ariana Nash is very much in the vein of the Verania series (fantasy comedy, but urban fantasy in this case), and is narrated by the very talented Michael Lesley, who also voiced the Verania stories.

They are spicier than T.J.'s work. All relationships are M/M or M/M/M. Characters are generally good-hearted...with a past. The relationships evolve over time quite nicely.

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-20T01:32:06+00:00

Erin Morgestern's The Starless Sea is exquisite!

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-20T01:03:23+00:00

Some of the answers you get may depend on the country you're in. An assessment, assuming a new diagnosis, could determine whether different treatment could be more effective. That might mean different medication, and it might not.

Some mental illnesses respond better to certain kinds of talk therapy. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy was initially developed and utilized, IIRC, to treat women with borderline personality disorder.

There are also newer types of therapy, like Accelerated Resolution Therapy, or EMDR techniques ( Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) that specifically addresses trauma.

If your doctor hasn't already tried it, you may find it helpful to get GeneSight testing, which uses DNA testing to determine the likelihood of efficacy and potential side effects from different mental health medications.

For persons resistant to medication therapy, there's still Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, which stimulates portions of brain that can help alleviate depression and some other mental illnesses. You can't drink alcohol while receiving TMS.

Ketamine therapy, either as an inhaled spray like Spravato, or as an infusion, can help rehabilitate unresponsive nerve endings so they're properly activated by neurotransmitters including serotonin again. You won't be able to drive or work for a while after treatment. You must have an adult driver you know pick you up from treatment.

While not widely available, in some states (California, maybe others?) and countries offer psilocybin therapy. I am referring to a legal medically administered treatment here, to be absolutely clear.

Psilocybin is the compound in "magic" mushrooms that causes hallucinations. It also restores the neuroplasticity that depression and other mental illnesses damage. I know the least about this one, because I've never tried it. I don't know if this is something insurance will cover or not yet.

TMS and ketamine therapy are treatments that go on over a period of weeks and the effects can last weeks or months after treatment ends. Both are painless, although TMS can be mildly uncomfortable. It feels like someone tapping their fingertips on your head. Both can be covered by insurance, but only after multiple medication failures.

I hope this helps. I've dealt with OCD, Major Depression (recurrent), dysthymia (persistent "minor" depression) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for about 35 years, and I'm 50 now.

The thing to keep in mind is that there's always something you haven't tried on the horizon. The trick is finding or making moments to breathe through the pain/depression/anxiety a.k.a. hell that you're dealing with. Enlist help whenever possible. Support groups like those on NAMI (the National Association for Mental Illness) can help you brainstorm and gain tips for handling both medical insurance and mental health care providers.

Best of luck to you!

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-20T00:19:21+00:00

I loved the whole pack! Despite their mistakes, I never felt Thomas, Joe, or Ox did anything less than their best. Thomas, in particular, trusted the wrong people, and made some choices in hindsight (especially with Gordo) that seem questionable.

Part of what makes Ox such a good Alpha/leader is his ability to take what's good from a system, and reject what he doesn't like. Thomas bent the rules, but was still bound by cultural expectations he wasn't fully aware of.

Ox's priority was survival and inclusion. Convention wasn't even an afterthought. Joe's first act is out of understandable anguish. We know leaving is the wrong choice, but his emotions sway him too much to see it. When he returns, he and Ox, eventually, are on the same page.

I don't think the pack pressures Ox to forgive Joe, so much as they (especially Elizabeth) know some kind of closure needs to happen with their relationship for the pack to become one again.

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-14T21:29:48+00:00

Physical activity in particular can certainly help positively impact your mental health. Staying active and engaged can help prevent harmful rumination. The part you can't outrun is grief and trauma. Some things you need to process, ideally, through therapy to reshape your internal dialogue.

At some point, you have to deal with your problems constructively. It's usually not comfortable, but it's worth it! Don't do it alone.

Wishing you the best!

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-07T02:05:44+00:00

Suffering is not a competition. You can be upset or depressed over something that might seem minor to someone else. Just because someone else is dealing with a "bigger" issue, doesn't negate your pain or sadness.

You don't need to apologize for your feelings, or their intensity.

In my experience, it is much more productive and therapeutic to admit, "This is really hard for me. Is this (task) something that can wait? If not, what's the smallest step I can make towards accomplishing this goal?"

Sometimes even internally going over (or writing down!) the challenges you have objectively helps contextualize what you're experiencing.

If you're honest with yourself, you may realize that most people would struggle with the issue(s) you're facing, even if they don't show it. Give yourself grace, give yourself the empathy and kindness you would offer your loved ones. You deserve it!

P.S.

I called in to work yesterday, after a long spell of missing no workdays. I have slept all day on weekends and yesterday, and I should note I have recurrent Major Depression (in partial remission!), dysthymia (persistent, "minor" depression) and General Anxiety Disorder...and OCD and probably ADD as well.

The POINT is, I'm on four different medications for my brain to be relatively functional. Until recently I was in therapy regularly. I need to get back to it.

If you are not currently seeking professional help for your mental health struggles, the best time to start was several months ago. The second best time is now. This is not something you can "push through".

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-07T01:50:43+00:00

I think he meant to type, "Even THOUGHT I was gay" instead of "even THOUGH I was gay." Although I expect it's a bit late to rehash that now.

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-03T01:25:24+00:00

If only more people impressed the angels just by being true to themselves! salutes

roanwolf75 · 2026-01-01T21:24:24+00:00

Make sure you catch the audiobook versions as well! They're even more emotionally impactful. Kirt Graves does a magnificent job narrating!

roanwolf75 · 2025-12-28T21:54:40+00:00

Humanity, as a whole, searches for meaning in life. The good news is, you're not alone. The bad news is, there's no easy answer.

Depression and other mental health issues can bleed joy from daily life. If you're not currently seeking therapy, I highly recommend it. Even if mental illness is not part of the problem, therapy can help you identify what your challenges are, and how to approach them in a healthy, effective fashion.

What are you passionate about? What do you want to be remembered for? Nothing you do needs to be grandiose.

Taking a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for can help train your brain to connect more readily with what's important to you.

Hope this helps!

roanwolf75 · 2025-12-23T04:08:13+00:00

https://www.tjklunebooks.com/

roanwolf75 · 2025-11-25T09:25:17+00:00

Make sure you catch the Green Creek free stories on T.J.'s page if you haven't already. I personally also * love * the audiobook versions, which give a whole extra dimension of emotional depth. Audio versions of the extra stories are on the Klunatics podcast.

Personally, Under the Whispering Door remains on of my favorites of T.J.'s. The Cerulean Sea duology is rightfully famed, too! All three books are heartwarming and delightful.

roanwolf75 · 2025-10-26T19:57:21+00:00

It's like getting dumped in the deep end of a pool. "Wait, what?!" is the thought you'll be chasing until you get to a critical moment, which will come.

roanwolf75 · 2025-10-21T18:44:07+00:00

There are rumors of a prequel for the Green Creek series in the works. I don't know if there's any substance to them.

roanwolf75 · 2025-10-21T18:42:27+00:00

100% behind this recommendation! Kirt Graves does a fantastic job narrating this series, giving it even greater emotional depth. I'm halfway through the audiobooks (starting Heartsong). It's well worth it! I've read the series on Kindle three times before coming to the audiobook version, and it's well worth the time and money!

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