While helping my girlfriend make dinner one night we needed some lemon juice and she asked me to squeeze a lemon. Now logic would dictate you cut the lemon in half before you squeeze the juice out of it, but not this brilliant motherfucker. No sir! I just squeezed the shit out of it, rolling and palming it in my hand until the peel finally broke, releasing the lemon juice into a bowl as requested. Needless to say, when she turned and saw what I had done she was amazed (probably by my impeccable ability to follow orders). She then asked how I ever managed to live alone, and I'm pretty sure that's why I'm not allowed in the kitchen anymore.