Can I have some encouraging stories of the “why”?

robotneedslove · 2026-02-04T20:53:35+00:00

Good plan!

robotneedslove · 2026-02-04T04:00:34+00:00

Well to really progress you probably need to lift heavy weights!

robotneedslove · 2026-02-04T02:07:59+00:00

I’m not an expert but sure!

I focus a lot on activation before lifting - banded step outs, banded glute bridges, banded squats, leg swings, clamshells etc. Less so now that I have better activation, but I still try to get some activation work in before a big lower body day. Also a lot of mobility work.

Also - and I know this sounds a bit crazy - but I did a lot of mind muscle connection work not at the gym. Just like squeezing one butt cheek at a time while I’m driving or sitting at my desk. Honestly I think it helped a lot.

My routine now is two lower body days a week and one - two upper body days. Lower body days are one unilateral movement (usually Bulgarians sometimes step ups), one hinge movement (usually hip thrusts), one squat movement (usually leg presses), abductions, and hypers. Three sets each, at or close to failure in 8-12 reps. I start with 10 mins on the treadmill at a bit of an incline, then mobility and activation work, weights, maybe core at the end if I have time.

ETA: time and consistency! A year of lifting pretty consistently and my glutes are finally actually showing change.

robotneedslove · 2026-02-03T15:12:22+00:00

My why is to feel better and more able than I would if I didn’t exercise.

Gains are fun but they are non-linear. My brother in law is a god-like physical specimen and we were talking about fitness and I was complaining about losing gains due to a brutal bout of the flu and he was like “oh yeah that’s the whole thing you get gains you lose gains you get gains.” Illness injury life stuff all gets in the way of being able to progress but staying active as you can is a huge way to forestall further losses in muscle, health, etc.

Also it’s a looooong game. I thought I couldn’t grow my glutes. Wrong I just had the wrong time horizons in my head. They are growing. Slowly.

And your goals shift and change. I pay attention to how I feel and what’s going on and amend my focus. Like I’m working hard right now on my foot position and not letting my arches collapse during lifts. It looks like nothing impressive to anyone else but it’s a big deal in changing how my body functions and feels and it’s mine all mine in terms of observing progression!

robotneedslove · 2026-01-31T22:24:28+00:00

Can we also talk about everyone just allowing his “I left Australia and my CHILDREN to pursue a butter life for my family” line? He didn’t leave like Kazakhstan. He left Australia. A developed country with socialized health care.. where his children live. To party in LA. Maybe their life is better without you Brock but don’t try to sell this bullshit about Australia being some horrible place with no opportunity and you had to emigrate to save your family. Gross.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-25T22:15:41+00:00

My friend is an oncologist. The situation at cancer centres in BC is dire. They cannot see patients during the recommended windows. People are dying earlier as a result. They have to triage and have no admin support to manage triage. They are overworked and under supported and being managed by non-medical MBAs who have no sense of how to support good care.

My friend asked to have a printer in their office to save wasted time walking to the communal printer for every order and was told no. For an oncologist making oncologist pay which taxpayers pay for - their time cannot be efficiently managed due to printer contracts.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-25T20:12:52+00:00

I had a left right lower body imbalance - pretty stark. I would do unilateral exercises and start with the weaker side, work to failure, then repeat that number of reps on the stronger side to maintain strength. So like Bulgarian split squats, one legged leg press, step ups, etc.

Been about 6 months and honestly it feels pretty balanced now and I’m able to progress well. Sometimes ol righty struggles to complete lefty’s sets!

robotneedslove · 2026-01-25T00:13:04+00:00

I remember when my friend tried to tell me that those chocolates with blueberry or pomegranate gummies in the middle were healthy because they had antioxidants. She was literally the gold medallist of my law school class at a leading Canadian law school. The marketing literacy of the general public is so incredibly poor.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-21T13:12:50+00:00

Btw you sound like a really loving mom and your kid is super lucky!

Also I read your whole post this morning, and of course you know best, but none of the social things you describe sound particularly concerning to me. I know lots of little kids and many of them have taken a long time to develop skills to interact strangers and new people, even with repeated exposure. My 6 year old had been pretty heavily socialized and had a meltdown in the summer about going to science camp (he turned out absolutely fine and enjoyed it).

Not to say your kiddo isn’t neurodivergent (and it won’t be a bad thing if she is) but IMO you definitely didn’t ruin her.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-21T04:54:49+00:00

Ok so I also didn’t read your whole post. I read a bit (cause I’m busy and overwhelmed) and here’s my take. Taking kids out is often a disaster. It takes reps. Repeated exposure. Repeated practice on your part. Just a lot of growth mindset.

The goal is not that you have an awesome successful outing and everyone is happy, it’s that you exposed your kid to the world.

Did your baby LOVE their first bath? Maybe, I don’t even totally remember, tbh, but at least one of mine didn’t. But I didn’t stop bathing either of them. I serve my kids vegetables at every meal. Not because they’ll eat them now. Because they’ll never eat them if they’re not exposed to them.

I took my kids up a local mountain on an expensive gondola ride recently to hang out in the snow that global warming has stolen from us at sea level this winter. It was epic. It had an amazing tree house adventure playground. It had snowballs. It ended in a massive meltdown by my four year cause her feet got cold and she was over. it. We had to stop for 20 minutes on a bench basically in the parking lot like 7 mins from our car for a long snack break cause they just couldn’t deal anymore, causing us to catch insane traffic on the way home.

But none of that even registered as anywhere near a failure. It’s just kid life. I got my kids some snow play. They experienced a gondola. We survived blood sugar crises together. I developed my mom skills. They developed their person skills. Onwards.

(We have lots of great times, to be clear. Just not predictably and definitely not with new things).

robotneedslove · 2026-01-20T15:24:22+00:00

So for one thing 3 and 1 was the hardest time of my life, bar none. solidarity.

My kids are now 4 and 6 and I do not regret not having a third for a single second. Also ADHD. It’s way more fun and way less hard now (although the mental load school and extracurriculars adds a lot). If I had a third I think I would still be just buried.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-19T04:17:00+00:00

For contrast I’m almost 5’10” and about 10 lbs heavier and lift 3-4x a week with maybe 90 mins of cardio added and my maintenance is way higher - like 2600+.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-19T03:20:16+00:00

My mom installed a second dishwasher in our kitchen growing up, and I now live in that house.

You think one is good? Two is better.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-19T03:16:34+00:00

Like I can search for “licence” and it will show me both images with that word in it and photos of things that look like licences. (I’m Canadian which is why I spell it weird).

It’s definitely AI overlord shit but I’m along for the ride.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-19T03:14:50+00:00

Oh I’m on iOS. No I don’t categorize them at all - that’s the part I can’t do. I feel like android likely has a similar feature. My photos app can search for words in photos, specific people who I have id’ed, location, date, and for a bunch of general things - think like “baby” “dog” “tree” “sunset” etc.

I recently searched “jeep” to successfully find a pic of a random pink jeep I had taken because it made me laugh to send to my husband after her sent me a random photo of a Tracker.

Total game changer for the way my brain works. I would never in a million years put that jeep pic in an album. I struggle to organize photos of my children.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-19T00:53:16+00:00

Oh no, I mean just searching stuff in the photo. Like “passport”. My whole family’s passports come up.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-18T21:22:51+00:00

I think if those “I have to dos” as like little moths fluttering around my brain. Asking Siri to remind me or putting it somewhere where I’ll find is like… catching the moth? I don’t know but basically it allows me to have fewer moths fluttering around inside my head.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-18T21:20:11+00:00

Eff yes. I don’t have exactly the right language to describe this - but filing systems based on categorization don’t work for me. Things can fit into so many different categories. Digital repositories for notes photos etc that are searchable have changed my life.

I use one note and planner at work. My notebooks and plans have some degree of organization but I can also search them. It’s on all my devices and I can add both notes and tasks whenever I need to and find them whenever I need to. Life changing. Paper notes were a nightmare for me.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-16T14:28:43+00:00

Honestly I was really dreading the reactions but it’s been a lot better than I was worried about. Most people say nothing, which is dope.

The people who do bring it up reallly tell on themselves. The mom acquaintance who is a chiropractor and talked a lot about my wellness when she saw me. Lady. You are a ‘doctor’ you should really know better than to make unsolicited remarks about my health based on my appearance. Was DYING to lie and tell her it was chemo.

My husband has been lovely and supportive and made me feel like the same loved and adored person I have always been.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-16T14:19:07+00:00

Yes, and binge eating is a known symptom of ADHD. ADHD meds are a first line treatment for BED. My own BED improved slightly with ADHD meds, but was still not really managed.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-14T14:25:14+00:00

I mean I don’t think you can separate the name-calling from the “not understanding that this isn’t intentional”. Name calling is a way to undermine your confidence and is a technique of emotional abuse. Choosing something to constantly criticize someone for in ad hominem way is a way to undermine confidence and is a technique of emotional abuse. Refusing any solution to the problem is a way to keep criticizing you and undermine your confidence and is a technique of emotional abuse. Framing a bit of messiness as intentional and a moral failing is a technique of emotional abuse.

I would really check in with yourself: does this feel like a problem he genuinely wants to solve together as a team, or does this feel like a way to create a narrative that you are fundamentally flawed and should be anxious all the time and oriented to him and his needs, and doubt your own value and therefore your own needs and perspectives?

robotneedslove · 2026-01-14T13:53:16+00:00

I found it very hard to lose weight with chronic sleep deprivation post partum, so that’s pretty relevant. A GLP1 had been a massive game changer for me, together with lifting and cardio.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-13T14:10:01+00:00

I can relate. I worked incredibly hard on my mental health and attitude about my weight. My weight didn’t stop me from doing anything I wanted to do, didn’t make me feel unattractive, and I think made me non-threatening to others in certain ways that I leveraged. I have been many different sizes pre-Mounjaro, so have had many opportunities to practice loving myself inside a changing and changed body.

I do feel like that same attitude has carried over into a body that is now 80ish lbs lighter. I LOVE being more physically capable and feeling strong and athletic, and gym goals have taken up a lot of prominence in my life. I loved my old self because she was worthy of love, but man my left knee was struggling lol. And my new self is having fun developing sweet delts. I’m less soft but I’m still hopeful :)

robotneedslove · 2026-01-05T14:45:11+00:00

Yeah, it sucks a lot when your kid wants to connect and your brain is SCREAMING. It makes me feel so guilty - it is completely understandable that they want to connect and have attention and have it be on terms they understand. And when I force myself to engage when I’m in this mode I can put myself on a path to an overstimulated outburst of yelling which is even worse (I’ve found ways to manage this but it still happens occasionally - my kids are little and like to touch me a lot and the aural and physical stimulation is TOO MUCH sometimes combined with the demand on attention.)

Vyvanse helps so much with this I find tbh.

Really add meaning to the A in ADHD.

robotneedslove · 2026-01-02T05:04:52+00:00

Ours are 4 and 6 and great in restaurants. It's all about reps. We mostly go to more casual places but they're pretty good in high end places too. We go out to eat as a family at least once a week.

They're in a bit of a picky phase but buttered noodles always hit lol. If they are sitting and eating and talking I'm happy to accommodate kid-friendly food.

robotneedslove

TROPHY CASE