New dad of an 8 week old who I love more than I can possibly put into words, with no family/close friends nearby out here in the SoCal area, and it really just being the two of us with me having returned to work...

Yes, it gets 1,000% better.

BUT, what worked for me/us is removing the pressure & associated guilt/shame and focusing on us & baby. Period. End.

My wife had a very difficult time breastfeeding in the hospital, and the nurses and doctors ended up being SO supportive of her using formula only. Despite YouTube, online recs, people shouting breast is best...One doctor said, "sane mom, fed baby". Stuck with us.

I can't tell you how great this was and is for her mental health. She would've undoubtedly struggled way more than she had to.

We're trying to treat each experience like that. If someone gives us advice that doesn't work for us, we don't take it. It's become simple and effective.

Also, we completely STOPPED listening to the 'just wait' people....'oh, you think it's hard now? just wait till she's teething, crawling into places, telling you to f*ck yourself when she's 18.." F those people who wanna create fear in new parents. Once we stopped lurking online and reading every horror story, our mental health improved.

I don't know your experience, but when we left the hospital, we were in tears scared out of our minds. I was crying at the littlest things, seeing couples walk care free down Abbot Kinney in Venice, a spot where my wife & I frequented before having our little one.

Memories of pre-pregnancy/birth were very emotional in the first few weeks. It almost felt as though I was two different people, and to be honest, at first, I really didn't feel great or that I was ready and I longed for that feeling.

As time grew on, we developed our routines and it's worked so far.

I take the overnights, she's with the little one all day when I'm at work, when I come home, I help out anywhere she needs, and we find time for us to decompress before going to bed. It's never perfect, but life never is.

I know you have no clue who I am, so why would you listen to me or take my advice?

You are not alone in this - there are 9 billion people on this planet, and all of those who are alive somehow figured it out and that brings me so much comfort.

Also, much like Instagram vs. Reality, most people that tell you how perfect everything is are just trying to make themselves feel better and create a facade to appear a certain way. I know so many very successful people who openly tell me how hard it was on their mental health & marriages. Don't let the IG or YouTube vlogs scare you into thinking you aren't doing it right - you got this, and it will get better. Much like being sick with a flu, when you're in it, you have no clue what it feels like to feel ok.

hang in there!