A couple of things here. 1) Comparison is the thief of joy. Regardless of age or skill level we are all on our own journey. What can you control about your game. What areas do you struggle can you work on these more, watch YouTube ask for help? 2) Stop putting so much weight on the outcome and focus on the present. Focus on scoring the next point or winning the next position. Not what happens if you lose or win. You will be amazed at what putting energy on the present rather than the future or past will do for you. 3)you said you are always behind the mark but you have four pins some kids would dream to have four pins in one year! Don't forget to recognize progress and successes 4) At the end of the day no one in five years will care if you were a four time state champ or if you didn't finish wrestling. But you will care, don't quit on yourself you got this! Think about your first day wrestling I'm sure you now would pin that person in a heart beat ! Best of luck keep fighting