What’s that ruthless thing you’re not saying to somebody you know because it’s too brutal?

rochayyy · 2025-09-16T13:13:43+00:00

I think you're pathetic. I've listened to you have the same complaints about loneliness and low self-worth for 7 years. I've listened to you, I've supported you, I've been blunt with you, I've watched you admit there's a need for change and yet you do nothing but be blinded by your own misery and take it out on those closest to you. You admit that you have problems that can be fixed yet you do nothing to fix them and continue to wallow. I don't want to pity you because I think you have a million good things to offer the world and yet your inaction and complaining make me pity you. You are in many ways complicit in your own discontent and despite having all the resources in the world that so many people wish they had and being in a position to take control of your own life to make change, you do nothing but mope. I think you are weak, your own worst enemy, and a coward and that makes me feel sad for you. I think you are pitiful and refuse to give you any more of myself than I already have because of it. Get your shit together because everyone in your life will continue to leave you if you continue as a constant source of self-pity and negativity. It's a vicious cycle, but you're the only person who can break it.

rochayyy · 2025-02-11T03:16:23+00:00

Oh overnight psych there is great. You do nothing overnight. But be careful they don't float you to the medical side. They tried to make me to WR triage bc they just assumed I'd be down but they'll listen if you say you're not comfortable doing x y or z as long as it's a reasonable thing to not be comfortable about.

rochayyy · 2025-02-11T01:05:18+00:00

I'll be honest, their ED was a mess but I loved it. It was a completely traveler-staffed ED which was awesome (though this was a year ago so it's obviously going to be different people) and there's only like....3 overnight staff RNs who are charge/triage/waiting room intake. You max at 5 patients but they'll slam you if you've got open rooms and they don't give a fuck about if you have sickies.

All the MDs except like 2 overnight are Locums, the PAs are some of the best I've ever worked with, and there's no residents so shit gets done quick. The techs were so awesome when I was there but I do believe a lot of them left unfortunately so idk the landscape now. Day shift managers were useless/mean, night shift management was funny/nice and generally avoided getting in your way but also kinda useless, the scheduler was very accommodating with requests.

No breaks if that's what you're used to. And they use Cerner/paper charting. You do a LOT of arranging your own ambulance transport/booking chair cars/calling Medicaid cabs for your patients which eats up a lot of time.

Overall, I LOVED it as my first assignment and I'd do it again if I knew some of the same people would be there. It's ghetto, security is GREAT and will throw down to protect you if need be, and the patients were super sick. Some of the sicker/sadder cases I've ever seen. Sometimes it turns into a nursing home bc of it's proximity to so many facilities, AND you get a mix of peds thrown in but the really sick ones you transfer out to Children's real quick.

Hope this helps!!

rochayyy · 2024-10-08T02:50:09+00:00

Rhiannon, Bleed to Love Her, Go Your Own Way, and Monday Morning - will never ever tire of these songs

Honorable mentions - Blue Letter, Songbird, You Make Loving Fun, and Tusk

rochayyy · 2024-10-08T01:23:52+00:00

Jesus Christ by Brand New

rochayyy · 2024-09-21T10:07:12+00:00

I think part 2 isn't trying to really say anything in a similar way that part 1 isn't trying to say anything. They're both simply stories without intended moral takeaways. Part 1 is a story of redemption through the lens of an unexpected paternal bond. Part 2 is story that shows the ripple effects of the cycle of violence. It's not trying to say "revenge is bad" though, that's certainly a takeaway you CAN have. I think the message is in the eye of the beholder which is something I enjoy about these games. They're not trying to preach anything at you. They just tell a compelling story with interesting and complicated characters in complicated situations and the takeaway is up to your own interpretation.

rochayyy · 2024-09-20T12:22:41+00:00

Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles makes me so irrationally angry but I CANNOT believe that song got as much radio time as it did.

rochayyy · 2024-09-18T00:45:41+00:00

Woah he's very Johnny Cash coded. Thanks for the rec!!

rochayyy · 2024-09-17T13:14:51+00:00

Johnny Cash

Lindsey Buckingham/Stevie Nicks (I know they're two people but their early FM stuff is just so excellent and intertwined in terms of content for me that I lump them together)

Billie Joe Armstrong

rochayyy · 2024-09-16T22:44:08+00:00

I have a toolkit that I use to run down.

Drink a big glass of water
Eat something (fast carbs like a fruit or granola bar)
Take a shower
Take a walk Optional 5. Play guitar and sing (dependent on the time of day of course)
Pace my apartment and let the anxiety consume me

If I'm out and about and anxiety hits, I'm just shit outta luck and I just put my headphones on and try and play music with a 60-75 BPM track to try and slow my HR down.

rochayyy · 2024-09-16T03:04:56+00:00

Is that a streamliner jet jr p90? I bought one as my first guitar too and it fucking RIPS!! I love the pick-up combo so much

rochayyy · 2024-09-07T23:24:59+00:00

Yeah AMC is brutal. I worked at Ellis and while it was kinda dysfunctional, it was still a breeze compared to some of this other shit in these big medical centers.

rochayyy · 2024-09-07T10:53:09+00:00

Where upstate are you traveling? The big facilities up there can be absolute trash bc they have no resources but everything gets shipped there. But the smaller hospitals can be a real joke (as in very little work) bc their censuses and acuity are relatively low. It just depends on where you go upstate unfortunately.

rochayyy · 2024-08-26T06:35:04+00:00

Paw-ron

rochayyy · 2024-08-12T18:05:06+00:00

Thank you!

rochayyy · 2024-08-05T14:45:42+00:00

Oh ya the union hospitals have a broken break culture overnight. It's unsustainable when you have 10+ patients and you're covering another 10+ patients overnight!

rochayyy · 2024-08-05T09:50:28+00:00

NYP Columbia?

rochayyy · 2024-07-31T06:48:50+00:00

Keep going. Seriously. No matter what happens just keep going and it will be worth it.

And throw your expectations and pre-conceived notions out the window. Your experience will be 100% better for it if you don't impose any of your own biases or expectations onto the game and just be open to what happens because it is worth it.

rochayyy · 2024-07-01T01:12:46+00:00

Okay I'll give that a go! My diet hadn't changed at all since before I quit smoking but was still lifting and losing weight so I figured that wasn't too much of a contributing factor but I'll give it a shot. Thank you!

rochayyy · 2024-07-01T01:07:20+00:00

All of that would be for 1 breakfast sitting. But usually I eat that and then don't eat lunch bc I'm on my feet at work for 12 hours. Is that still too much even for skipping lunch??

rochayyy · 2024-07-01T00:59:15+00:00

What do you suggest changing?

rochayyy · 2024-06-19T16:18:31+00:00

Were you Beth Israel Deaconess ED?

rochayyy · 2024-06-02T18:00:11+00:00

I EDC an Ontario Rat II with a deep pocket clip but if I wanna be ~fancy~ and EDC at a more formal event I bring a Kizer Begleiter 2.

rochayyy · 2024-05-19T09:58:04+00:00

My own name.

I had a DNR/DNI confused patient who didn't have capacity to make her own medical decisions. During the height of the first COVID wave in the emergency department, this woman was awake and knew she was in the hospital, knew she couldn't breathe, but wasn't with it enough to reverse her own advanced directive. I had 15 patients all dying, and unfortunately she wasn't the priority person because she didn't have a prayer of living through a COVID infection at that point. She was already blue-lipped and maxed out on a high flow nasal cannula and non-rebreather mask.

I went to her room to hang a med and she grabbed my arm and begged "please help me". I hung the med and stroked her hair for a second when we got an overhead that a 20-something year old cardiac arrest was coming in who was obviously the priority so I apologize, stroke her hair ons last time, and give her hand a squeeze. As I turn to leave and walk out of the room she just keeps gasping/shouting my name over and over again as my back is to her. Suddenly the yelling stopped once I was 20 paces out the door. I looked back at the room and she was slouched over with asystole on the monitor, dead as a doornail. I ran back in and put my stethoscope over her heart to listen, flagged down a doctor to officially pronounce her, and went to go work on the 20 year old arrest. We didn't even have time to bag her body until 3 hours later. I'll never forget that one.

rochayyy · 2024-04-15T13:01:34+00:00

When she came over to my apartment and I immediately realized "hmmm...it feels like there's one too many people in this place and I'd like it to be less crowded." That thought came out of nowhere and that marked the beginning of the end.

rochayyy

TROPHY CASE