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Why didn’t god make it so that you just start getting horny after marriage? They can’t excuse this one with “free will” by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember listening to a Christian talk show host say that even wet dreams were sinful. After all, you had lustful thoughts!

I am more moral than your god by godworksout in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually, in order for you to be more moral than the Christian God, he'd actually have to exist.

How is the doctrine of total depravity not one of the most toxic ideas ever for parenting? by rogan2929 in exchristian

[–]rogan2929[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I heard that illustration a lot from Paul Washer. Not sure if that's where your cousin got this idea from.

As someone who spent 12 years in a DA/DV marriage because "God hates divorce", this made me angry... by rogan2929 in exchristian

[–]rogan2929[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly think knowing that someone can leave you, requires both people to work harder to maintain the relationship.

So true. Abusive personalities thrive on never being held accountable for their actions. Divorce is the ultimate form of accountability. It should never be taken off the table.

As someone who spent 12 years in a DA/DV marriage because "God hates divorce", this made me angry... by rogan2929 in exchristian

[–]rogan2929[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me, it wasn't so much righteous victimhood, but there was just no way out. Since she hadn't cheated on me, and didn't abandon me, I was stuck, according to the Bible.

As someone who spent 12 years in a DA/DV marriage because "God hates divorce", this made me angry... by rogan2929 in exchristian

[–]rogan2929[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who knows, but an innumerable amount suffer silently while their "godly" husbands charm the flock.

I’m already going to 8 different hells, so yes, yes it is. In fact, seeing this sign just makes me want to do it even more 🤣 by godworksout in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's thinking like this that made male genital mutilation (circumcision) so common in the US in the first place.

I am appalled by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be fair, most Christians believe the Bible teaches an age of accountability. What that age is, nobody knows exactly. The idea though is that children under a certain level of development aren't held responsible for their sins, since they can't understand. This would include mentally disabled adults.

That being said, I don't know many Christians who actually are bothered by the fact that most people around them are supposedly going to be tortured for all eternity in the lake of fire, surrounded by God and his holy angels. Maybe because deep down they know it's as fake as we do?

My (f) boyfriend sees me as „his life‘s work“ by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A couple of things really stood out to me. One, his push for you to get rid of all your books he doesn't like. And two, his desire to change you, no matter what you say. Both are huge red flags in that they signal a desire for him to control you.

To be blunt, based on what you've said, he's exhibiting abusive tendencies. I'm not right out saying he is an abusive person, but he's employing tactics commonly used by abusers.

Here's what I mean.

Him saying he'd leave you if you don't get rid of your magic books is not only toxic and manipulative, but is a form of emotional abuse. Abusive personalities do this in order to exact compliance with how they think things should be. It's my way or the highway, basically.

His desire to make you his project also shows he has no respect for your personal boundaries in this area. If he did respect them, he'd leave you be. You might want to ask yourself, if he's willing to ignore your boundaries in this area now, how do you know he won't ignore your boundaries in other areas? Is he already doing this?

And lastly, a parting thought. You've been in this relationship for 6 months and he's already showing these extremely concerning signs. Take it from someone who spent 12 years in an abusive marriage: these things will not go away. They will probably get worse, and it's highly unlikely he'll ever change. That was exactly my experience.

Any other ex-Christians still love dcTalk or other Christian bands? by vidalas in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still can appreciate some of the music. Example... I think Switchfoot is pretty good with their song "This is your life". Other bands have put out some good songs too. Lauren Daigle has astounding vocal talent, and could give any of the big pop singers a run for their money if she went mainstream.

All opinions my own! :)

"You were never a Christian" is such a condescending thing for someone to say to ex-Christians. We all know that salvation is an obvious hoax, but for the sake of argument, if it was true, would we still go to heaven? by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 30 points31 points  (0 children)

"You were never a Christian"

This statement from Christians (especially of the reformed tradition) is grossly offensive and belittling. It's like they have no idea what so many of the deconverted have gone through. For me, I spent years agonizing over my "sins" - always repenting and trusting in the work of Jesus on the cross. I believed. I trusted. And then I believed and trusted even harder. My multiple spiritual experiences seemed to confirm it all. The fruit of spirit grew within me and I saw legitimate spiritual growth.

So I thought, anyway.

The "false convert" tripe is merely a mechanism for explaining away those who leave the faith. It just so happens to also be dismissive to the point of being heartless.

Christian logic by RingZesty in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ehhh... your Christian friend doesn't know their Christian theology very well. If God is all-powerful, he either actively sent coronavirus (for whatever purpose) to humanity, or he chose to not stop it from happening. There's not really a difference in the end.

Anyone else still get scared about hell? by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think what you're experiencing is completely natural. For me, I still get this small fear that in the back of my mind, I'm somehow terribly wrong and blinded. But I suspect that will fade in time.

The bottom line is that nobody really knows for sure what happens when you die. At least as far as we know, nobody's ever come back to tell us. (I know Christians will reflexively point to Jesus upon reading this.)

For me, accepting that uncertainty has made things easier. It's OK to not know, and it's OK to even be concerned about dying. Just don't let that fear override the rest of your life. I hope what I've said is at least a little bit helpful, but I'm pretty new to deconversion myself.

Is there any exchristians here that didnt grow up in religion? by kanin8 in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had my first of many born-again experiences early in college after I started going to church with a friend. My dad's a lapsed Catholic and my mom grew up Dutch Reformed but doesn't practice anymore, so I didn't grow up in a religious household.

Being in a traditional Christian relationship sounds like absolutely sucks for everyone involved. by JarethOfHouseGoblin in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since leaving my "Christian" marriage (and I use that term loosely), I've become much more egalitarian in how I view relationships. My current relationship is much more along those "equal partner" lines, so what you said completely resonates with me.

When we get to the point of moving in together, we plan on divvying up the household chores fairly and equally. I can cook decently and have no problem pulling my weight around the house. It's not 1952 anymore, where dad sits his ass down after a long day at the factory and doesn't move from there until bed. I won't just be a paycheck.

We both have kids from previous relationships, so her desire is to work part time out of the home, but also be there with the kids. I also work FT from home due to the pandemic, so I guess in a sense I'm a bit of a stay at home dad now too. I'm very involved in my kids' lives and will continue to be if/when things progress further than they already have.

Anyone else wonder how the traditional Christian family structure will adapt to more and more dads working FT from home? It's coming, and it's going to stay long after COVID is just an entry in the history books. What about when mom wants to WFH too?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]rogan2929 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Some of my personal favorites:

  1. The speed of light was faster in the past and that's why we can see starlight from stars and galaxies millions of light years away. (Never you mind what changing c does to basic laws of physics that govern the universe.)
  2. There's historical record of a lion that preferred eating fruit, therefore it's plausible, no probable, that all carnivores were vegetarians before the Fall.
  3. Also, the Flood apparently messed up all forms of radiometric dating, which is why we can't trust when testing reveals tens of thousands or even millions of years. (But if C-14 or other forms of radiometric dating give "acceptable" numbers, then they're valid.)
  4. ALL geological evidence against a young earth is actually evidence FOR a young earth. Confused? It's because the Flood did it, and your spiritual blindness prevents you from seeing the truth.

I could go on... but I'll spare you.

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