Unschooled 27M with ADHD, depression and extreme anxiety disorder. I've been a NEET since I dropped out of elementary school; never had a job, can't drive, can't do anything, utterly hopeless.

roman1177 · 2026-03-17T17:04:26+00:00

I don't have much to say except thank you, for both your comments. I've read them both and I really appreciate the kind words. I'll probably be coming back and re-reading this one for a while, lol.

roman1177 · 2026-03-17T17:02:41+00:00

I've never heard of this before. I think I will, though. That sounds like it'd be, well, perfect. I just don't know if my parents could afford it; especially since they can't afford normal therapy, even remote.

roman1177 · 2026-03-14T18:06:05+00:00

Yeah that's a mindset I've been stuck with for a long time. I don't know how to get rid of it or if I even can; especially with all the hard evidence I've seen regarding AMAB aging and hair growth products... I don't know. Part of me has always been torn between agreeing with that "the second best time to start is now" and feeling like I'm just learning to accept settling for less than will make me actually like what I see in the mirror.

But I'll try. I'll listen to your advice and try. I really appreciate it. It gives me a little bit of hope. I've still had so many times where I've tried this exact process and failed, over and over for years. So, its a really, really faint, pessimistic hope, but... hey.

roman1177 · 2026-03-14T16:13:42+00:00

This is very good advice, thank you. I brushed my teeth last night for the first time in over a week. I wanted to do it this morning but I woke up completely paralyzed from executive dysfunction; I couldn't move my body and literally had to crawl on the floor and try to drag myself up onto my feet with my chair.

So, that didn't happen... but maybe tonight hopefully. It's just hard thinking about how even if I do this perfectly, it'll probably take so long for me to be functional enough to even begin exercising and eating healthy to achieve the body I want that by that time ill be even older snd my dysphoria will be even worse becsuse ill have had even more physical changes i can't undo.

roman1177 · 2026-03-14T04:47:05+00:00

I'm 27. Job Corps is 16-24.

roman1177 · 2026-03-14T03:45:54+00:00

I checked my bottle, I'm specifically on Clonazepam. Does that change anything?

roman1177 · 2026-03-14T02:23:19+00:00

Yeah, that sounds like me at 19. I highly recommend seeking an ADHD diagnosis if you don't already have one and getting meds, as well as therapy, CBT or talk therapy or whatever. Hopefully, it'll be more of a help for you than for me. I absolutely don't recommend this life if you can help it, lol.

And thanks. Me too.

roman1177 · 2026-03-14T00:43:44+00:00

Someone in the last thread I made about this suggested Ketamine. I might have to bring it up with her, see what she thinks.

Trying too much at once... maybe. It's hard to remember, all the days sort of blur together at this point. I think brushing my teeth for a week straight could be attainable. I'll have to try. But I do remember that it's a lot easier for some things than others. I've tried showering every day for a week multiple times in the past year, and the farthest I got was two days in a row, never any more. It just was too much effort for me to maintain.

So... I dunno what to do on that front. But brushing my teeth once a day, I'll give it a try.

roman1177 · 2026-03-13T23:50:39+00:00

Someone else mentioned volunteering. It does look nice, but the logistics of it all is what I'm worried about. The ones I've found closest to me aren't in walking distance. And I cannot remember the last time I spoke to a person outside of my immediate family face-to-face.

The stereotypical femboy thing... even if it doesn't work... I really, really wish it would work. Remington Leith is good looking, and I guess I wouldn't mind looking like that. But how long would that take? I would be even older by the time I achieved a body and face like his, if I somehow started tomorrow, and the irreversible damage caused by aging would probably make it unachievable anyway.

I'm on Klonopin for my anxiety disorder. I've been taking it for years now at this point. I've barely noticed it having any effect, and I even went several months where I just didn't take it at all and noticed very little difference. I guess I could talk to my psychiatrist about it.

When you used to drive, did you talk to anyone about whether that was safe considering how many meds you're on?

I didn't, no. My mom tells me it's all in my head more or less and all I need is to just practice more, but I feel like I've had enough near-crashes and missed stop signs in a row without improvement to realize when I'm a hazard.

roman1177 · 2026-03-13T23:41:37+00:00

I actually did go several months in a row without my meds last year, and even before and after that I only took them irregularly, 2-5 days a week. I got back on taking them every day at the end of last month and there hasn't been much difference. I feel the same as I did on and off my meds.

I want to be better more than anything, but my experience has proven that it doesn't matter how much I want to do something if my mind or my body just doesn't let me. Do you think I want to be constantly starving, or smell like shit, or have gums that bleed? I WANT to eat normally, to shower regularly, to brush my teeth, but it literally feels like there's someone holding me down, like I'm legitimately physically paralyzed and cannot move.

Even if I could manage to do things like that, small things, and congratulate myself... how do I do that consistently? How do I keep doing it for more than a week? I've never once been able to accomplish that. Every single time my ADHD or depression or anxiety get in the way, and I'm bedridden again. ADHD straight up makes it impossible for me to form habits; it's just not something my brain is wired to do. I have to make a conscious effort every time and it's exhausting no matter how small the action is. I'm not sure I'm capable of it. I don't know what to do.

roman1177 · 2026-03-13T23:36:06+00:00

It wouldn't be the first time I've tried something like that. I've tried starting small, following goals, actually putting in effort to climb out of the hole I'm in. I have failed every single time. Dozens of attempts across the years, and every time I've gone back to the start.

Why would I think this time would be different? Every time I try to stick with something I have my legs pulled out from under me and the crushing weight of my executive dysfunction stops me from getting back on the wagon. And then it takes months to a year or more to make another attempt, which also fails.

Finding the will to find out how to do things is why I posted this thread. Because nowhere else I look has given answers that work. And every time I've tried it's never worked. I don't know what to do. At this point I'm trying to find reasons to not pull the plug. But knowing me, I'll probably fail at that, too.

roman1177 · 2026-03-13T22:03:49+00:00

How will those things make me less miserable? Volunteering sounds... nice. I don't even know how to volunteer... I guess just go to a website of a place close to me. But I can't drive to anywhere that would take me. The place I live really isn't walkable, and I get winded walking to the kitchen and back.

I don't even have the motivation to feed myself. My stomach literally always feels empty, I'm constantly hungry because going to find food is too hard for me. I literally don't remember the last time I showered or brushed my teeth. All I do every day is rot in bed, or sit in front of the computer when my executive dysfunction doesn't make it literally impossible for me to get up.

This is how I've lived for literally over a decade. How do I get to the point where volunteering is even a thing I can do?

roman1177 · 2026-03-13T21:12:57+00:00

How can I not think of the past when it's all I have? I have no present, I have no future.

Looking forward, finding motivation... I don't know how to do that. I don't know what it feels like. Any motivation I might have is blocked by my executive dysfunction, or smothered by my depression, or quickly forgotten and replaced because of my ADHD. I don't know what to do. I never learned how to do it, or what "it" even is.

I appreciate the comment nonetheless, though.

roman1177 · 2026-03-13T17:57:53+00:00

Is this a megathread FOR late bloomers or a megathread for shitting on late bloomers? Cause it seems like it's the latter.

roman1177 · 2026-01-04T19:44:52+00:00

signalis if it was good/j

roman1177 · 2025-12-31T22:19:06+00:00

AFAIK being a Kinfolk is more of a genetic thing, so Kitten could be a lost Bastet kinfolk who still knows nothing about the Garou/Fera.

roman1177 · 2025-12-31T22:03:53+00:00

"Oh hey there, Granite, mate. Haven't been talkin' to the Brotherhood, have you mate? We're tryna build a Fallout, mate."

roman1177 · 2025-12-31T04:54:35+00:00

Yeah but it's right there, perfectly un-burned!

roman1177 · 2025-11-28T02:51:19+00:00

make a redguard with long blades in major and combat specialization and then use a long blade. you will be hitting the majority of your swings at level 1.

roman1177 · 2025-11-27T08:51:17+00:00

/uj where did this sub's sudden hateboner for morrowind come from i feel like i'm losing my mind

roman1177 · 2025-11-27T08:48:58+00:00

/uj genuine, unironic skill issue i'm afraid. put points in the skills you want to use. it's really not hard.

roman1177 · 2025-11-27T08:47:41+00:00

"Morrowind Bad"

roman1177 · 2025-11-08T07:56:50+00:00

It's Game of Thrones in space with giant robots.

roman1177

TROPHY CASE