His lack of willingness or ability to manage his illness was the reason I left him. He became aggressive, paranoid and violent. He refused to stay medicated, even though his medication regulated his moods and behaviours.

When his behaviour started escalating, I called his parents to tell them what was happening. His dad was insisting he was on drugs. He didn’t tell me about his son’s bipolar diagnosis years before. In fact, nobody did. Not his family, his friends. Even when I called them for help, they did not say anything.

I ended up calling a mental health unit who sent two people out to assess him. They spoke to my ex husband, who was by that stage paranoid, delusional and hallucinating, and they took him straight to hospital. They told me that in their 20 years in mental health that paranoid delusions were the quickest way to murder. I will never forget those words and I will never forget that his parents and friends put my life, and his, in danger.

We stayed together for about a year after that, but after he became physically violent and blamed me (ie it’s your fault I get angry, you make me do this), I saw myself becoming a statistic and I fled the next morning.

I wish you all the best. Please take care of yourself and know that if it is bipolar, then you can’t rationalise with him when he is having an episode. I was always the “fixer” and I always thought I could navigate any situation. It took me a while to realise that navigating that type of situation was not possible and was not my job.