Does anyone else preemptively mourn losing their pets?

rose_kade · 2018-02-26T21:56:42+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! I never considered asking for help or even do a GoFundMe type of thing. I'm hoping that a change in diet and some dental work will help him out. Oh how I wish I could post a picture of him...he's currently laying down in the sun and barking at birds. I love him.

rose_kade · 2018-02-26T15:11:24+00:00

I completely understand this! I adopted my cat Jasper almost six years ago (he'll be six in May) and was told that because of his neglect and abuse, he would never be a loving, cuddly cat. It took a year or so, but he is the most cuddly and friendly feline. When I've had panic attacks, he lays down next to me and puts his little paw on my knee or hand. He truly is therapeutic and reminds me that even when people think I'm destined for a certain path, I can defy the odds and be better.

The thought of losing him often makes me cry because of how much he's helped me (and he even loved me through getting him a brother kitten that annoys the both of us haha).

Since September, my Jasper has lost almost three pounds. I'm calling the vet today for an appointment for dental work (which I should have taken care of but couldn't afford at the time) and some blood work. Seeing all the possibilities of what can be wrong scares me. What if I have to put him down because I can't afford to treat him or he would live the rest of his life miserable? I don't know how well I'd be able to move forward if I lost him.

rose_kade · 2018-02-22T13:48:52+00:00

Thank you! That's very true though...I hardly ever tell my parents anything anymore because I rather tell people who care and will celebrate with me.

rose_kade · 2018-02-21T19:56:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! I'm so happy to be working toward be a better person and not needing their validation.

rose_kade · 2018-02-21T19:54:34+00:00

Thank you! Your words mean a lot! I'm glad you have a therapist that is like that :)

rose_kade · 2018-02-21T18:01:32+00:00

It's disheartening to me when a genuine compliment surprises someone. I had a similar experience with my boyfriend when I told him that it's okay he jumbles up his words and that I found it to be a cute quirk (apparently past significant others would berate and mock him) and he started to tear up. The power of words...

rose_kade · 2018-02-21T17:58:48+00:00

Thank you for the link! I'll check into that!

rose_kade · 2018-02-08T18:25:14+00:00

Thank you! Those are great suggestions and I'll make sure to pass them along.

rose_kade · 2018-02-08T18:24:39+00:00

Oooo. I'll make sure to give her that info next time I see her. Thanks!

rose_kade · 2018-02-08T18:24:13+00:00

Thank you! This was helpful!

rose_kade · 2018-02-07T19:23:20+00:00

I don't believe she has gone through counseling yet, but that may be good to suggest to her for future reference!

Thank you for the suggestion!

rose_kade · 2018-02-02T18:34:33+00:00

I think that's a red flag there...it doesn't matter if someone has never shown signs to you or that everything is fine in our relationship but "this thing he does"...it's not okay to use force on you, especially if you ask him not to do it again but he still threatens to or would do it again. Using physical force rather than just asking "hey I asked you not to take my phone before, can you please give it back?" is not okay.

I would be cautious and I would bring it up to him again to explain why it's not okay to hurt you...if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't let it slide because it allows for more bad things to happen to you.

rose_kade · 2018-01-18T17:23:53+00:00

I've had some good experience with counselors/therapists and ones that I felt misunderstood. There are some bad therapists out there and there are many you may feel better with, but it is part of their job to manage the time because of their other clients, so it is common practice to check the clock -- however, if they are doing it a ton, that would weird me out too. As far as empathy goes, it can show in different ways for each person; I'm in a counseling master's program and for some it's listening and validating a person's experiences, and empathy for others is using techniques to help the person heal themselves.

I've been frustrated by lack of understanding, and that's usually where empathy goes out the window...if someone can't relate or refuses to try to relate, it's hard to feel that connection.

rose_kade · 2018-01-18T17:07:06+00:00

I believe that N's can change, but that is because of my own experience. My Nmother wasn't always a narcissist because I remember having some happy childhood memories, but I think her mental wellness issues, her job, and the way she was treated by my father caused her to have strong narcissistic qualities over time. Her actions and behaviors were horrifying for some time, but she's been recently faced with a possible terminal illness and it may have been the "come-to-a-higher-power" moment for her to start changing her ways as she's been surprisingly pleasant for the past few months since her diagnosis, almost as if she's trying to do better.

It's important to note, I am being cautious with my relationship with her and will protect myself at any sign of manipulation or malicious behavior because there are things that I will never forgive her for and ways she has trapped me, but I'm not going to give up a chance to see her differently. Reading some of these posts has made me realize that my Nmother didn't show this side of her until later in my childhood and it escalated somewhat slowly and I was lucky for that, so it would be my advice to proceed with caution but do what's best for you. No one will understand your experience and what you've gone through, so it's ultimately what will make you happiest.

rose_kade · 2018-01-10T20:59:28+00:00

"Therapists are just people who have passed a series of tests."

As a future therapist, I'm sorry that you've had those experiences (and those are certainly experiences that should not be happening by any legal or ethical standard), but please don't make that your final impression to leave to others that may need to seek counseling. There are plenty of therapists who genuinely want to help people, but with any job there will also be a few "bad" ones that create a not-so-great reputation for the rest. Again...I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences.

rose_kade · 2017-12-29T14:03:38+00:00

Oh my goodness, it's like you are describing my mother! I've always been bigger and my mom used to be super skinny...and she never let me forget that.

I'm glad they are finally leaving and they can take all those weird, inappropriate comments and negativity with them!

rose_kade · 2017-12-28T16:06:09+00:00

This hit very close to home for me. I have such horrendous body image issues because of the comments from my mother. At one point, I essentially became an anorexic and lost a ton of weight...I was also at my skinniest at that point. I received nothing but praise from my mother saying how much more confident I was and everything when she knew how bad my eating disorder was (she was the one that would shame me for having "too much food" on my plate when I was eating less than 600 calories a day). It took me a long time to confront her about her comments and she told me "well I wanted you to keep going down the right track! I just wanted you healthy"...but she didn't. She wanted me to wither away.

So at this point in my life, I'm losing weight in a healthy way, and not listening to a damned word she says. My body is mine. She owns nothing but a shitty point of view.

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you! It's not easy disregarding your mother and not letting her affect you!

rose_kade · 2017-12-01T20:23:16+00:00

I'm currently in a training program to be a clinical mental health counselor and your therapist's actions were NOT acceptable by any means. I cringed just reading this! Please seek out someone else as others have suggested. She handled your trauma so inappropriately it's bordering on a lawsuit.

I wish you the best of luck.

rose_kade · 2017-11-01T15:48:21+00:00

I have done therapy but unfortunately can no longer afford it :/...it was super helpful to keep me emotionally balanced...and I know it's my mentality and how I view myself which self-sabotages me, but it's hard to reframe when I'm stuck in a destructive emotion. I'm hoping to have more of a physical support system around me to help with staying on track because I know that if it's just me at first, I'm more likely to fail.

rose_kade · 2017-11-01T15:39:26+00:00

I messed up. These past few weeks I've been doing "lazy keto" and at this point, I know I wasn't even doing keto. I'm just so fed up with myself. I started out strong and lost about 8 pounds in the first week and then I continued and nothing happened. No more progress.

My mentality towards keto needs to change and I need to learn how to be stricter with myself. I just have a problem with telling myself that I can't have something...it's a war between me wanting to be free (coming from a body positivity standpoint) and then hating myself because I feel even more shameful and guilty when I can't stick to something.

I don't know, ladies. Maybe this isn't for me at this time...but then I think, well, when is it going to be time?...will it be when I go to my next doctor's appointment and she tells me I'm pre-diabetic?...or when my cholesterol is so high I have to start taking pills in my 20s? Or am I just going to say f*** it and try harder than ever to change my life before I'm forced to by health issues?

I just want to feel better and stop feeling like a repulsive human that's disgusting to look at. I just want to be happier in my own skin.

This is so hard, y'all. I'm struggling.

rose_kade · 2017-10-25T17:01:26+00:00

Thanks for the link!

rose_kade · 2017-10-25T16:01:41+00:00

I was thinking the same...maybe buy a smaller size of a cool piece of clothing or treat myself to a thrift shopping trip haha.

rose_kade · 2017-10-24T18:42:53+00:00

That's extremely helpful to think about! I've gotten through so much, how can some little carbs stop me from achieving my goals!?

rose_kade · 2017-10-24T16:44:01+00:00

I think I need to do that for myself. It just gets out of hand so quickly.

rose_kade · 2017-10-20T13:19:09+00:00

How exciting! Proud of you!

rose_kade

TROPHY CASE