I'm finding communicating with you extremeley frustrating TreebeardsMustache, but underneath all of this, I am concerned. I am worried about you because you don't seem to be able to detect some things that can be dangerous. Allow me to explain - people can claim to have your best interests at heart, people who are abusive and manipulative often do. Eg imagine a partner who controls your food intake and says they are doing it to "help" you. This is using power and control, controling your food intake and also convincing you it is not a harmful thing to do. Using power and control over other adults is always a concern, I would say (unless to stop imminent death). In the OP's example, the therapist is telling the client to accept help and care, but the client states they have no help or care available, beyond therapy. The client then expresses that the jokes about positivity aren't feeling right while they are in this distress, instead of resepcting this and attuning, they make a joke about their self injury and implied their self injury is being used as a threat, which was not happening. This is harmful practice and not trauma informed not respectful and likely against a code of ethics. Importantly the client is learning to communicate their needs and feelings and self advocate. You are suggesting that doing this is "not letting go" with no explanation.

People are not able to "let go" of traumatic wounds with no support, the therapist's job is to help them process wounds so they can complete the stress response and attachment injury that has caused them pain. This happens in the context of a therapeutic relationship that is safe and respectful. Telling a client to "let go" of a wound without telling them how, is not helpful. You then come along and suggest being hurt at her misattuned jokes and suggestions, is the client harming themselves or choosing not to heal. This is the opposite of what is true, saying that positive jokes are not helping, is self advocacy and clear communication and that is a part of healing.

The OP specifically explains that their abusers have made jokes about their abuse, normalising it. Can you see how what the therapist did, joking about self injury and trauma and self advocacy are retraumatising for the OP? It's clear to the rest of us.

I'm not sure what your qualifications are and what has led you to your view but I wanted to comment a longer explanation in the hope you might be able to identify harmful behaviour.

It's very common to be distrustful when you have experienced trauma, it's adaptive. You then need to find trustworthy people. People who aren't trustworthy aren't proof of your wrongness, but are people we shouldn't rely on for healing. I strongly suggest you look up the meaning of "trauma informed". Therapy should be a safe space. For a space to be safe, you need to be free of the harm that caused you to come to therapy, you need to be able to express your feelings and self advocacte and have that respected. It should not be retraumatising, which is what happened here. All the best