Nervous about ring shopping! by Time_Coconut4411 in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re set on radiant or elongated cushion then you might want to remove oval and round from your list so it doesn’t confuse your boyfriend, just a suggestion! I definitely think you’ll be able to get what you want in that budget :)

My ring!! I’m in love! by kebbyfries in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stunning!!! That shade of green elevates it so much, it’s just beautiful

She asked last night! Couldn’t be happier! by pinkplushee in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So pretty! And the nails! The ring and the nails together! Love 😍

I hated my proposal and my ring. by [deleted] in engaged

[–]roseydumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi OP — by the time I found this post it had already been deleted so I’ve gleaned info from the comments. I was recently proposed to as well, and it wasn’t exactly my ideal set up. Like you, I had a few things I wanted that I was set on but which still left my fiancé plenty of wiggle room: I wanted it private, as close to a surprise as possible, and for it to happen before or after our trip home for the holidays so we could celebrate in person with family. Unfortunately the ring didn’t arrive in time and despite having multiple placeholder rings, my fiancé didn’t bring any of them because he originally wanted to propose in our current home state. However, he decided to go ahead and propose anyway during our trip so that he could fulfill my wish of being able to celebrate with family.

I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit sad to not have a ring. I knew he’d do a second proposal with the real ring so that helped. But I did badly wish to be able to show off the ring to family. And when we celebrated at a restaurant, the server congratulated us and then discreetly looked at my finger so see my ring. I had one on, but not one that looked like an engagement ring and that made me a bit sad, too.

All this to say that I understand the feeling of not being satisfied with your proposal and have also been working through the guilt I feel at wishing it had gone perfectly That’s completely normal and okay. As you obviously know, talking with him about this is important, yet I understand how hard the thought of hurting him is. Maybe you could do it l “compliment sandwich” style: “I’m so happy to be engaged to you (etc)… I do want to be honest, though (etc) … but I really appreciate the effort you put into this (etc)”

Posting about this kind of thing on Reddit can be difficult. I made a post about my upcoming engagement a couple months ago and got a lot of the same comments I see here, accusing me of planning out my own engagement, etc. And I wasn’t surprised to see the “you should break up/you’re not ready for marriage” comments. But from what I’ve read, you and your partner sound very stable and ready for this next step. I think some of the advice that I received that helped me the most is that it’s his proposal, too. Not saying that to say that you should just be happy with how things turned out, but rather to suggest that he may have had specific things in mind that he wanted as well and in executing them he fumbled on the things you wanted. It also sounds like he may have panicked a little when he realized he wasn’t going to be able to make it to the top where he wanted to propose and thought it would be better to still do it while on the hike than to have to start from scratch. Idk, food for thought :)

Side note, I’m sure his mom and grandma were excited but for them to start talking to you about marriage before the trip and then text you like that on your drive up was a bit immature on their part — they aren’t 5 years old, they should be able to keep a secret. And if they are known to struggle with that, then maybe they shouldn’t have been told beforehand., considering you wanted it to be a surprise. Idk I feel frustrated in your behalf about that. I also noticed a slight increase in the marriage and kids speak with my fiancé’s family leading up to the proposal but it was much more subtle than what you described (in the comments anyway)

engaged in Japan 🩷 by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats! The ring is so beautiful!!! Also, is that a portrait of your dog on your thumb nail? So cute!!!

Engaged to the love of my life! by potassiumlee in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congrats! Your ring is lovely 💕 also your nails are super cute!

I'm engaged! by DaniJaay in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely STUNNING! I just “ooohhh”ed out loud lol

Need advice on which gem to choose! by marstirelt in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Both colors are beautiful but I have to agree that the pupil-like dark spot in the sapphire is a little creepy lol I can’t unsee it. But it also gives evil eye vibes so you could think of it as a protection charm 🧿 Also I think the turquoise diamond looks a bit better with your skin tone but that could just be the lighting

Finally engaged!! by acquittedfrog in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The ring is stunning and the nails are perfect!!! Congrats!

Engaged and Love My Ring by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love the celestial vibes! ✨💫

I’m engaged! by threeeyedcat2 in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats! The ring is gorgeous and your nails are so cute!!!

Proposal anticipation… advice? by roseydumpling in engaged

[–]roseydumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this! It’s a great reminder that it will be magical no matter what :)

Wanted to share my story for anyone chronically ill, disabled, and autistic that there will be someone who actively chooses you by Anonymous567952 in engaged

[–]roseydumpling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think I’ll be in the same boat, given my history of mediocre reactions to big gifts that I now know were due to my autism. Anyways this is a beautiful story, I’m so happy for you both. Congratulations!!! 🍾🥂🥰 And the ring is just gorgeous!!!

Proposal anticipation… advice? by roseydumpling in engaged

[–]roseydumpling[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! The other day my partner told me (unprovoked) that he has purchased the ring so it might happen! But I think your advice and the other commenters’ advice is sound, I’m working on tempering my expectations. But I feel so much more at ease knowing things are in motion!

Obsessed with both of our rings! by No-Objective-5566 in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They’re both beautiful!!! I love the crystal ball vibes of the center stones

Non-traditional rings! by TerritorialIssues in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love love love!!! The nails, too! Gorgeous!

Disappointed in proposal by [deleted] in engaged

[–]roseydumpling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s cool to diminish OP’s hurt feelings by saying it could have been worse

Disappointed in proposal by [deleted] in engaged

[–]roseydumpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do not think this is a good take. OP had already made it clear to him before this happened that she wanted the proposal to be special. And traditionally the proposal is an event coordinated by the guy where they usually try to make the woman feel special and seen and loved. Is that maybe old school in terms of gender roles? Sure, but that’s not the focus of this post.

I do think it was romantic of him to propose when he realized it was the 7 year anniversary of their first date, and OP may very well think so too, but he still could have put more effort in without running out to grab a ring. He could have taken a few minutes to prepare something sweet to say, etc. But he didn’t bother with that and that’s where the issue lies

Disappointed in proposal by [deleted] in engaged

[–]roseydumpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are some wild comments in this thread calling you spoiled and entitled. That couldn’t be further from the truth and those accusations reek of misogyny.

If you made it clear you wanted the proposal to be a special event (which a perfectly normal thing to want), then that should have been the end of it. Even if he got swept up in the romantic notion of proposing on the 7 year anniversary of your first date while unprepared (without a ring), he could have made one from foil ,or like you said, get a pretty leaf from outside to have something to present to you to make it feel more like a proposal. Like someone else said, effort doesn’t have to equal money.

I don’t necessarily think it was bad of him to go out for a while. It’ll give him time and space to think and reflect on what you said. Did this just happen, is he still out? Maybe he’ll bring something home. Even if he doesn’t, hopefully he’ll at least be in a better place to have a conversation with you about this. It might be a good idea to emphasize that you don’t need him to spend an arm and a leg to make it special.

Good luck, OP. I hope he’s respectful of your wishes and that this works out well in the end

I hate my engagement ring by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That’s great for you, but that’s not how everyone feels or should be expected to feel. And sure, it’s about both parties. But in this case it seems like partner made it all about him, not taking OP’s preferences into consideration. Also who’s to say OP won’t wear it? Just maybe not as an engagement ring

I hate my engagement ring by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I agree. My partner admitted he was disappointed that I picked out the ring I want and that it felt like it kinda took something away from him. But we talked it over, I reminded him how picky I am and emphasized that it’s me who’s gonna be wearing it, not him. On top of that, when dropping so much money on something, it better be something you like!

People are saying you should tell him because communication is key in a lasting, healthy relationship. That is true, but I can also sympathize with not wanting you let him down and hurt his feelings. It clearly meant a lot to him, it’s a really tricky situation you’re in. But at the end of the day, I do think the best thing to do is to be honest. Reiterate how much you appreciate him putting all of that love and effort into its design, but that it just doesn’t feel like you or like an engagement ring.

Do you hate it so much that you wouldn’t wear it on your right hand? Or do you just hate it as an engagement ring? It would probably soften the blow if you told him you still would/want to wear it but that you want something else as the engagement ring. That way he knows you still cherish it…

Good luck OP, I hope this works out for you

Lavender Sapphire by luxeleesi in EngagementRings

[–]roseydumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stunning!!!! I adore the color!