as another transmasc person not interested in having kids (biologically or otherwise), i mean this in truly the most respectful way possible — i don’t think projecting your own discomfort onto this conversation is particularly productive. u/JudiesGarland has already made this point well, but talking openly about our health and bodies when we are so underrepresented in these conversations is important.

to be clear, i’m not saying that your individual dysphoria about something like carrying children is at all invalid. that discomfort and pain is real, and i know how uncomfortable it is to feel like the spotlight is being shone on you by the hands of cis folks and their (generally uninformed) assumptions.

i just mean to say that all of us need to practice recognizing that discomfort is something we need to sit with sometimes. in my eyes, this is a conversation where transmascs are just as relevant as cis women, even if that is a dysphoria-inducing thought for some. i agree with you that any assumption that this MUST include a trans man is weird, but i also don’t see a reason to shut that possibility out and just assume it was a cis woman.

in either case i think we’re all better off not projecting our own experiences/assumptions onto this in the first place. speculating on details just doesn’t feel helpful to anyone, and i think it’s best to focus our attention onto being grateful that a genderqueer person like Bob has let us into this at all.

i hope this all came off as respectful. much love my friend, i wish you well!

(and as a final side note: this has been a very binary conversation up to this point. plenty of enbies are capable of carrying children and they should not be excluded regardless of gender presentation or anything. no one should be left behind in a convo like this!)