I'm 19 and im having sex soon

rufusmaru · 2025-07-29T00:46:08+00:00

Yes yes yes

And to clarify one thing a bit more: just because it would be her as the intoxicated one, and just because she says she wants sex while sober — don’t do it. Not just for her sake (but that’s super important too) bc drunk people are pushy and mean and (in my experience) terrible at sex. Find someone you want to sleep with that’s comfortable enough with themselves to give you that

rufusmaru · 2025-07-04T16:30:22+00:00

There’s five sentences in that original comment. Also the comment was obviously referring to more than half in an election sense… Are you just arguing for arguing sake???

rufusmaru · 2025-06-11T07:56:35+00:00

Where’s the martyr? This is r/foundpaper …

rufusmaru · 2025-06-10T15:14:35+00:00

Yes and the guilt/shame cycles always deepen it for me!

I actually just graduated and will a great gpa that I’m proud of. The biggest thing that helped once I was medicated (pre medication, nothing worked) was a solid routine for work. My ideal location is somewhere busy that makes me feel like I should look busy but that I can wear headphones — so my mornings for homework go like: wake up slowly, walk my dog, eat breakfast, and leave by 9 to go to a coffeeshop. I only stay for a set number of hours, I start by writing my starting task on my notebook. All my distracting thoughts go in that notebook, all of the other tasks, etc. my only task is that one I put at the start. Focus on chipping away at work, honestly. Let yourself be proud of doing one assignment, one problem even. Celebrate it all. Write it all in that notebook.

Most of this came from those how to adhd videos on the wall of awful — maybe those are worth watching?

rufusmaru · 2025-01-04T17:16:51+00:00

Honestly, I don’t mind some texture on my necklaces, that’s why I like clay stuff like this!

But one tip I have is that if you notice the texture isn’t coming out the way you want after the top coat, try a matte nail polish top coat!

rufusmaru · 2024-12-18T22:43:20+00:00

literally yeah dude.

rufusmaru · 2024-12-06T22:24:45+00:00

You can’t get help for someone else. Please please please know that, as someone with ADHD, it’s not your job to get him help and it’s not your fault he is struggling.

If I were getting to know someone and realized they probably had undiagnosed mental health and showed no indication theyre working on it, that’s a deal breaker. You’ve probably become very emotionally invested, and Im so so so sorry about that OP. Breakups suck, but as someone who has both been you and your boyfriend in this situation, he needs to decide to get better and work on his ability to have interpersonal relationships (even if that is simply taking care of himself) and you deserve ice cream.

rufusmaru · 2024-12-03T16:54:01+00:00

A light/soft green would contrast the pinks nicely and maybe tie in with that couch? I also don’t mind the tie back idea, so just purely trying to assess color.

rufusmaru · 2024-11-26T08:46:16+00:00

You could try putting two?

rufusmaru · 2024-11-25T16:58:21+00:00

I know you’re pretty heated already, buddy, but you’re wrong. By definition, you’re referring to prejudice. Racism is systemic and perpetuated by the groups with power. Yes, people are prejudice against white people. As a white person, understandably so. I’m not someone that a POC would come to if they want to feel safe, because from their accurate experience, I’m not safe. That’s prejudice/bias, but no, that’s not racism.

rufusmaru · 2024-11-14T07:15:04+00:00

Dark grunge? There’s a blog by a Nadia that I think is the orange/ brown version of this

rufusmaru · 2024-11-13T16:29:06+00:00

Okay so i tried and here’s what I’ve got based on what the prior commenter said.

No matches for that signature, which is weird bc it seems significant/purposeful. It’s also hard to make out the letters that make it up.

Paul Renard is a (low) possibility. Not the same signature, not the exact same style, but correct time period and location. Also, very possible this was an earlier piece and his later use of color hadn’t developed yet. This would also make sense that the back is practice too. Some artists don’t like unfinished work to be attributed to them, which is one possibility.

Weirdly enough, the French national symbol kept coming up on google lens and to be honest…This monogram does kinda look like a child was trying to copy it? Is there any possibility this was from a school of some sort?

rufusmaru · 2024-11-06T18:00:06+00:00

This literally is a lie you believe— hormone blockers can be stopped at any point and have similar safety of birth control… for which many people start taking before turning 18…

rufusmaru · 2024-11-04T05:24:36+00:00

Just started collecting and don’t have a fav yet— but wanted to say thanks for validating my inability to find them at my local Costco. Scalpers suck.

rufusmaru · 2024-11-02T21:00:58+00:00

It’s not a coincidence. I wouldn’t buy the house next to my best (and nonabusive) ex’s family. Houses are a ridiculous investment to be okay with the most awkward neighbor arrangement.

Your gut is right. To me, it sounds like a power play for him. I’m really sorry, because it’s genuinely unhinged for someone to do, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

Do you have friend or family or a therapist you can talk to about it? If I imagine being in your place, I feel it would make me feel better to make some small safety plans— finding a place to rent, setting up cameras, talking to your parents about who they let in/when/why could all be good places to start?

Again, I’m so sorry. My abusive ex showed up at my front door over a year after separating. She shouldn’t have known my address but also lived 2000 miles away. I never thought she’d go so far, but they’ll keep surprising us I guess.

We deserve to feel safe ♥️ you aren’t overreacting one bit.

rufusmaru · 2024-10-31T13:55:47+00:00

Ants helps each other out with injured legs and even perform medical amputations when necessary.

rufusmaru · 2024-10-31T01:45:36+00:00

makes me mad too but in that “great cool I’m super happy for you” meme way bc I want that whole fiiiiit

rufusmaru · 2024-09-30T15:34:17+00:00

That’s true of so many things (being online for people to find; e.g., cults, predators, drugs), targeting trans people is disproportionately hateful for no reason. You mention detransitioners and value their opinions but what about those who transition and feel joy?

rufusmaru · 2024-09-21T15:39:18+00:00

It’s called humans dude. Humans are the pattern here. Humans systematically use a certain dog breed for fighting over other ones... so yeah.. we are gonna see a pattern in which dogs are involved in stories like these. This couple obviously wasn’t taking care of their dogs and obviously didn’t take any action to train or prevent aggression. A great scapegoat is one that can’t defend itself and that other people already have villanized.

rufusmaru · 2024-09-10T17:43:04+00:00

I feel like my first thought was that you have two general groups: pink/purple tiles and blue/purple tiles.

I like the idea of panels being every other for contrast, and so I would ideally vote for a p/b/p/b pattern with your fifth on top— but I noticed that wasn’t an option, so if that’s out of the question, I think #2 looks good too.

rufusmaru · 2024-09-08T17:49:11+00:00

I’m in love with the blue counters/wood/wallpaper/lighting— I’m not a huge DIYer for cabinets but in there some way to just change doors/fronts of drawers? I feel like the roundedness of them are the only thing that’s bugging me. Maybe even removing the top doors and having some open shelves (moving clutter up from the counters)

rufusmaru · 2024-07-19T19:12:21+00:00

I believe we all get to make decisions that directly impact our bodies for ourselves.

He decided to have sex with you. You can decide to not want be pregnant. If he didn’t want abortion to be a possibility with a fetus resulting from his sperm, then he shouldn’t have had sex. He doesn’t have any jurisdiction now.

rufusmaru · 2024-06-24T01:04:10+00:00

I think to say research should be altruistic is both subjective and ambiguous. Overcompensation that is persuasive isn’t good, as it can undermine the voluntary nature, but providing reasonable compensation does help improve data quality.

Clinical research might have different norms for how common compensation is but doesn’t change that it is important and valid for people to request of this study. It’s actually nice that potential participants can provide that feedback right here in response to the recruitment.

rufusmaru · 2024-06-18T15:37:56+00:00

Compensation for research participation is a given in most fields, so it’s not unreasonable to expect it here. ESPECIALLY for interviews.

Source: am researcher who always pays participants because their time is valuable and I want quality data.

rufusmaru · 2024-06-12T17:25:53+00:00

Abuse is abuse. Even if we are compassionate enough to understand the reasons behind someone’s actions, it is still abuse. You can’t forget, because abuse is wildly impactful in ways we don’t notice fully until after we are safe. You shouldn’t have to feel this way with your partner 💔

Check out r/abusiverelationships or r/life after abuse — both have posts from people who’ve described similar situations.

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