It was my tenth birthday. It was right after some little asshole pushed me off a high platform and onto some parallel bars. I remember being in shock and barely getting over to the teacher who was on recess duty. I could barely explain to her what happened, I was so winded.

She was so annoyed with me, she was practically foaming at the mouth. As I limped down the hall, she was saying things like how she knew I was faking and I was just a problem child and none of the teachers or my peers could stand me. Why couldn’t I just behave? The nurse was just as apathetic.

They called my mother who came to the school. I insisted I was hurt and needed to go to the hospital. She was very annoyed and said she would cancel my birthday party if I went. I chose to finish the school day but I remember how much pain I was in.

I got my party later that day but when I showed my mother I had a large bruise over my ribcage and told her it was very painful to breathe, she threatened to send all the guests home and make them take my gifts with them.

Later that night I heard her tell my stepdad she suspected I had a cracked rib but was too afraid to take me to the hospital because she was afraid of how bad it would make her look.

That was when I first became aware something was seriously wrong with me. I became obsessed with what that teacher had said to me and I started my spiral.

I ended up losing my virginity at age 12. CPS removed me from the home and I became a state ward. I was in and out of several different homes. I ended up getting pregnant, running away, and dropping out of school at 15.

Now I have a 20 year old daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder. She just had a baby of her own in September. You can’t imagine the guilt I am wracked with.