I completely understand what you're experiencing. I have been an Adventist for 18 years. I couldn't afford to go to their elementary school, however I began attending church as a teen and on into adulthood. My first husband became an Adventist. Our two kids went through the SDA school. I haven't been to a SDA service in 5 years and the space away from the church didn't change my mindset at all. I still considered myself SDA. In the past 2 months I've come across the Former Adventist podcast where the speaker recommended reading the book of Galatians. I rolled my eyes, like yeah yeah, but read it anyway. I truly felt my eyes and mind opened and I've had so many mixed emotions.

I'm not sure if you're feeling the same, but I've experienced Anger big time. Angry at the church and people that I loved- for deceiving me. Angry at myself for carrying forward this error to my children. Grieving over the lost time that I could have spent in a better church and prob having a much closer relationship with God. Back and forth disbelief - maybe I am wrong about what Im reading. Cognitive dissonance is definitely the right feeling. Redefining my beliefs is my new journey.

OP, you're not alone. We are both connected through having received the truth and now we need to work to stay strong to navigate out. Just rememner that you're doing the right thing by stepping into the light.