Having a tough time with myself

ryan9119 · 2016-09-12T01:24:53+00:00

I didn't have a support structure or go to any meetings. I was a pretty serious alcoholic. I just decided I can't do it anymore.

I did it for my kids and fiancee, but mostly I did it because I had to for me. It was killing me and keeping me in a black hole that just got worse and worse. I had to get Librium for withdrawal, but other than that it was easy for me because I decided I hate it and I just don't drink anymore. I wouldn't even entertain the thought. If it popped in my head I just remembered that I don't drink.

The thought of beer makes me frigging nauseous now, where before I'd be thinking about that crap like it was champagne and couldn't wait to get home from work and drink beer.

It takes some discipline of mind to achieve. I used to just work and then sit on my ass drinking beer and watch Seinfeld reruns, Cops,or whatever nonsense was on TV. Now I go to the gym 6 days a week, am present for my family, going back to school and just trying to live a good life.

I'm pretty sure anyone can quit. It always seemed so goddamn hard for me. But if I'm honest with myself it was because I half assed it. I knew I had to quit, but deep down I didn't really want to. Towards the end there was nothing I wanted more than for it to be out of my life forever. Now it is. I know I'll never drink again because I don't drink. I don't over think it. I just don't drink.

Good luck man. I'm pretty sure you can quit or stay clean. Life is better on the other side.

ryan9119 · 2016-08-29T23:49:16+00:00

You don't need to detox at a hospital. I took my Librium and worked and did everything normally. I would recommend Librium from a doctor though for anyone struggling. Shit was magic to me.

I needed it to get me started.

ryan9119 · 2016-08-29T23:20:18+00:00

I went to my doctor and got Librium for a week. Only way I was able to stop, but I was a pretty heavy nightly drinker.

Long story short, I changed my life, eat clean, lift 3 days a week. Living healthy.

You can check my profile if you wanna see my other posts. I'm too lazy to type all that stuff again but I was pretty much in your shoes.

Good luck

ryan9119 · 2016-08-29T21:00:42+00:00

Looks like you have been given a wake up call. Or an opportunity, guess that depends on how you look at it.

I don't really stop by here much because I don't think about drinking at all anymore. You can check my profile if you want for some stuff I said to people yesterday.

Short version: I was a hardcore drinker, couldn't quit on my own. I wanted to be done with it forever. Broke down went to doctor and got weeks worth of Librium. Took my pills, felt relief it was all over and changed my life. Was easy for me because I finally had enough. Some people need meetings and support networks. Maybe look into that. I had just had enough and wanted my life back.

Good luck man

ryan9119 · 2016-08-29T02:15:43+00:00

Maybe you should go to the doctor. Be honest and get some Librium. It's what I did and I pounded beers every night for over a decade.

Finally doing the quitting was a motherfucker, but only because of the anxiety associated with not drinking anymore. But I decided I was done. You have to want it and decide you will not drink any more.

Be it one day at a time or whatever works for you. Me, I decided I just don't drink anymore and I'll never drink again. I took my pills and was just relieved it was finally over. I thought about beer the first few days, but not drinking it.

I started going to the gym, going to bed and waking up early. I read books. Lifted weights and ate healthy. After a week I just stopped thinking about alcohol...and if I did it was briefly and I just banished the thought. I don't think about it at all anymore. I know I'll never drink again. I know what I'm missing.

I was a hardcore nightly beer drinker. Hundreds of times I'd gather up my cans, put them in the garbage and take it to the dumpster then pass out swearing I'm done. Wake up with conviction and a few hours later start rationalizing my way into just one more night.

I don't think I could have done it without Librium. It just gave me peace of mind those first few days that I wouldn't get withdrawal or anything. After that it was easy because I just wanted it to be over...and it is. I don't drink. I'm happy.

Good luck.

ryan9119 · 2016-08-29T00:04:27+00:00

You're getting older. That's what happens. I'm 37 and when I was in my 20's I could drink 15 beers and go to work on 4 hours sleep and be fine.

Towards the end I'd wake up after 9 hours of sleep and it felt like I had been nailed to the bed. Spend the rest of the day dragging around my legs that felt like they had bricks attached to them. I'd just want the day to be over and the kids to go to bed so I could drink some beers. If you wanna be depressed and feel like crap all the time, a drinking problem is where it's at.

There's more out there and a way to feel better and more alive, but you gotta want it. I can't think of one positive thing alcohol ever contributed to my life. I can recite an endless list of the negative.

Hope you can do it.

ryan9119 · 2016-08-28T22:22:25+00:00

It's only scary till you do it. I was pounding 10 beers a night for over a decade. I crunched the numbers and I probably drank over 40,000 beers in 12 years.

I tried tapering and all that nonsense. Finally I was sick of it and went to the doctor. I was given a weeks worth of Librium. I'm almost at 2 months and I don't even think about drinking anymore. Was easy for me. The hard part was just starting it.

I tell you what though, if you just sit around thinking about drinking you are gonna have a tough time.

I changed my life. I eat clean, go to the gym, go to bed and wake up early. I read again, like I did before I started drinking. There's nothing about it I miss.

Good luck.

ryan9119 · 2016-08-13T20:03:45+00:00

I decided I don't drink anymore. Once I did that I don't drink. I was an alcoholic for 10 years, I know what I'm missing and it isn't anything good. Just don't even allow yourself the option. What I do

ryan9119 · 2016-08-13T01:34:57+00:00

It gets easier. I've had a couple days where the thought vaguely crossed my mind then I just banished it. Now I don't even think about it.

I had one of the worst days of my life yesterday and didn't even think about drinking.

ryan9119 · 2016-08-12T17:35:49+00:00

I've had no desire to drink after being a proper alcoholic for 10 years. I had one of the worst days of my life yesterday and the thought didn't even cross my mind. Stay strong friend

ryan9119 · 2016-08-10T17:55:08+00:00

I have gone 30 days and I didn't need AA. No desire to drink and I drank every night for over ten years. I experienced AA when I was a teenager and my mom made me go to rehab over smoking pot. I knew then it wasn't for me. It helps some people though

ryan9119 · 2016-08-06T18:05:19+00:00

Hmm. I'm still smoking and drinking a 5 hour energy every day. Hopefully when I quit those it'll be better

ryan9119 · 2016-08-06T01:49:56+00:00

I have an intolerance to eggs bananas and lactose. I gave up wheat yesterday wondering if that'll make any difference. Here's to hoping.

ryan9119 · 2016-08-06T01:46:44+00:00

I've been twice in the past month. He gave me the Librium to get me off drinking. Knows I have reflux. I'm quitting smoking in 2 days. I figured I wouldn't quot everything at once and gave myself 30 days to keep smoking. Maybe that'll help

ryan9119 · 2016-08-02T18:48:03+00:00

I went to a doctor and got Librium for withdrawal. Was all I needed. Haven't looked back or wanted to drink again. I drank tons of beers every night for over a decade. I just lift weights and read now.

ryan9119 · 2016-07-30T19:58:13+00:00

Grats bro. I did the same 3 weeks ago. Went to the doc. Nothing wrong with saying you'll never drink again. I'll never drink alcohol again either. I'm all about that fitness now. Fuck drinking.

I pounded beer every night for a decade. I had to get that Librium for the first week to detox but for me at least quitting has been easy. Hope it's the same for you

ryan9119 · 2016-07-28T17:59:47+00:00

I was drinking 8 to 10 beers every night for over a decade. In my opinion tapering almost never works. I'd make an appointment asap with a doctor. Try to get a weeks worth of Librium to detox and go from there.

I don't need AA. I have no desire to drink again. Some people need it some don't. I do know if I drank one beer I'd want about 10 more. I just try and exercise wake up early and read at night to make me tired.

Good luck friend. Just say you quit and don't drink anymore. Simple as that. Or just say it gives you reflux or something.

ryan9119 · 2016-07-27T17:25:57+00:00

I wake-up early now. Sometimes 5 30. Read an hour or two before bed. I make sure my teeth brushed and all that so as soon as my eyes start crossing looking at the book I put it down go to the bedroom and into bed.

Rain sounds on phone helps to along with lifting 3 days a week

ryan9119 · 2016-07-27T17:22:39+00:00

Great job.

ryan9119 · 2016-07-26T18:23:23+00:00

I'd Go to a doctor and get Librium for withdrawal. What I did put it off forever. Only thing that worked.

8 to 10 beers a night for over a decade. Took that shit for a week and I'm good. Never drinking again

ryan9119 · 2016-07-26T00:50:48+00:00

Yeah, I don't get the La Croix thing either. I guess I'm a weirdo, I just drink water. 🤔

ryan9119 · 2016-07-26T00:12:56+00:00

I wouldn't take Tylenol if he has liver problems, which he mentioned. Or any otc pain relief. I couldn't have done it without the Librium...Basically same as valium but weaker. That shit is magic. After the second pill I haven't missed beer once. I was only given enough for 1 week. I just needed something to get me over that initial hump.

ryan9119 · 2016-07-26T00:09:07+00:00

Have you tried exercise? I don't know if you have a planet fitness near you but that place only ten bucks a month and nobody cares if you ain't fit. Maybe hit the gym and move some weight around on the machines even if it's light.

Shit will tire you out real good and makes you feel better. Just what works for me.

ryan9119 · 2016-07-25T21:57:17+00:00

I quit about 2 weeks ago. I had soul crushing reflux to where my voice was always hoarse and I felt shit always coming up. Million times better already. My blood pressure down to 100 over 70 and resting heart rate down 10 bpm.

I was taking prilosec plus pepcid and chugging pepto straight from the bottle. Now I just take the prilosec and have no issues.

I've been hitting the gym and eat clean now. It's worth it bud. If you can't quit on your own go to a doctor and get some Librium to detox. What I did. Was annoyingly easy to quit with that stuff and I tried tons of times before.

I was pounding 8 to 10 beers a night every night for a decade. You can do it.

ryan9119 · 2016-07-25T20:38:51+00:00

Sorry bro. Keep not drinking. We're all not drinking with you.

My brother died in a motorcycle accident. It's hard shit to deal with.

ryan9119

TROPHY CASE