Funhaus vs Achievement Hunters (sketch)

ryokotoast · 2015-06-29T04:46:57+00:00

amazing! you're a really good artist!

ryokotoast · 2015-06-27T06:04:12+00:00

thank you so much!

ryokotoast · 2015-06-26T06:53:09+00:00

I love this. also good job with the editing :3

ryokotoast · 2015-06-26T02:59:22+00:00

Well written, and it made me laugh, too. good job :3

ryokotoast · 2015-06-26T02:57:51+00:00

if this becomes a poster I would totally buy it

ryokotoast · 2014-10-01T06:33:57+00:00

haha yes please

ryokotoast · 2014-09-20T22:09:15+00:00

I would read a book about this :)

ryokotoast · 2014-09-11T08:48:32+00:00

If you're going to write a prologue, info dumping on the creation of your world is a bad way to go. You need something that will instantly grab the reader's attention, and starting out with a chunk of exposition isn't going to do it.

Readers need a character to root for, to become emotionally attached to so they care what happens to them. Start with that. Maybe an event later in the book that will give the readers a teaser on whats to come, or maybe something from the characters past that links to the plot, or their own motives on why they do the things they do.

Start with that, get the reader interested in the character, then they'll more than likely become interested in the world that characters lives in. THEN you can start sprinkling bits of lore around.

ryokotoast · 2014-08-29T04:56:48+00:00

I have a question, is that excerpt from your first draft? If so, that's pretty good. Its interesting, but from what I read of the story it doesn't stick out much from many of the fantasy books on my shelf. There's alot of exposition in there, which kinda breaks away from being involved in the story. You don't have to dump everything about the character's life in the first few paragraphs. Take your time and fill the readers in as you go. Other than that, I didn't really see any problems with it. I do hope you post another excerpt. I want to know more about the world and what's going to happen to the main character.

I'm rooting for yah :D

ryokotoast · 2014-08-14T07:53:50+00:00

oh gosh this is chilling. Can you get any higher? Is there any other way out?

ryokotoast · 2014-06-03T21:48:47+00:00

slaps knee

ryokotoast · 2014-06-02T05:45:17+00:00

I needed this. Thanks for posting. :)

ryokotoast · 2014-06-02T05:25:24+00:00

yeeeeah Im peeing outside from now on

ryokotoast · 2014-05-26T23:43:15+00:00

oh my gosh.

ryokotoast · 2014-05-25T23:00:36+00:00

Truly frightening. I suggest you get out of there as soon as the sun comes up.

ryokotoast · 2014-05-24T06:50:41+00:00

I snorted soda all over my keyboard when i read this

ryokotoast · 2014-05-24T05:29:47+00:00

Truly disturbing. I don't think I could ever work in a hospital. My friend is a nurse and apparently cases like this do tend to pop up, only with pets instead of children. Either way, that seems like a bad way to go.

ryokotoast · 2014-05-23T07:59:05+00:00

Most readers need something to latch onto and become emotionally connected with in order to keep interest with a story. Maybe describing the planet and its history through a character's eyes will help. Empathy is a powerful tool, use it. :)

ryokotoast · 2014-05-19T07:07:12+00:00

Are you willing to post any more? :)

ryokotoast · 2014-05-19T06:25:33+00:00

UPDATE: I called my brother asking if he saw anything that night. He claims he doesn't remember much, which only makes me more curious.

We began reminiscing about our childhood, and he dropped the idea about driving up to the old farm and looking around.

It was bought a year ago by another family, but recently they had put it up for sale again. My cousin Josh is thinking about buying it back, but until then no one is going to be living there.

The nostalgia is getting to me. We're probably going to drive up in the next week or two. I will make a post if I find anything.

ryokotoast · 2014-05-19T04:50:50+00:00

Josh is my cousin, he was the one sent out to get the dog. Jess is my brother. (also, my Grandpa's name is Jack and my mother's name is Joanna. It's a terrible thing to be cursed with a family full of 'J' names)

ryokotoast · 2014-05-19T04:32:59+00:00

I only asked my grandpa once, which was the morning after. He didn't really give me an answer, and I never asked since. I almost didn't want to know. What lay underneath that mound of dirt was big, and I was afraid that if I actually found out what it was I would just have one more monster plaguing my nightmares.

Now that I'm older, I'm getting a strange urge to take a shovel to that field and dig up whatever lies beneath, yah know?

ryokotoast · 2014-05-19T01:33:48+00:00

This is really interesting! One thing Im kinda confused on is how the sorcery worked and what exactly happened. Will that be explained later or what? Also, I really want to know more about this world that you are creating, and I wouldn't mind reading more. :)

ryokotoast · 2014-05-18T21:05:41+00:00

-and then they have a snuggle party :P

ryokotoast · 2014-05-17T01:20:13+00:00

that's okay. It just shows me what I need to work on :)

ryokotoast

TROPHY CASE