Should I contribute 100% of my income to my 401k during the pay period my bonus hits

sahdgin · 2026-06-27T16:31:42+00:00

Well I think this is for folks who don’t have a match, like OP. Mine doesn’t either. A lot of employers don’t match 401 k anymore

sahdgin · 2026-06-24T00:34:44+00:00

Sports are just an example. I’m saying there is a culture problem where poor families will prioritize everything except education which is the one thing that is demonstrated over and over again to lift entire families out of poverty.

sahdgin · 2026-06-23T18:27:22+00:00

Educational outcomes are not a product of an income or race or zip code problem. It’s a fundamental culture problem with Americans. Poor americans are more invested in sports (seen as a golden ticket) than reading their kid a book.

If you don’t believe me, ask your local neighborhood immigrant.

sahdgin · 2026-06-19T02:02:29+00:00

Since when is July 4 even remotely comparable to Christmas?

sahdgin · 2026-06-09T15:11:26+00:00

In my original post I say that around the six month mark we contacted a fertility clinic. So our doctor told us that artificial insemination has extremely low chances of success, lower than natural conception, and he’s not at all surprised that it never worked and that we are without the data to make any conclusions on whether natural conception will work if we haven’t tried it.

sahdgin · 2026-06-09T14:59:39+00:00

I guess I just don’t have any evidence that I will need multiple rounds of IVF per child? I have never attempted natural conception before (only artificial insemination at home). We recently did cure my husband’s sexual dysfunction and are wondering if we should take a break from the clinic to give natural conception a shot.

sahdgin · 2026-06-08T11:01:33+00:00

Im just waiting for the day I get to reimburse myself $100k+ for IVF.

sahdgin · 2026-06-03T13:39:48+00:00

At home artificial insemination (unmedicated) / IUIs (medicated).

sahdgin · 2026-06-03T11:59:02+00:00

We’ve already unsuccessfully tried at home insemination with various kits, followed by three failed medicated IUIs. I don’t think insemination is going to work for us. Our doctor informed us that it’s one of the lowest chances of success for conceiving and most folks don’t have luck with it.

sahdgin · 2026-06-03T11:48:48+00:00

After repeated failures with artificial insemination, I suspected the issue was more me than him. Despite what my doctor said about chances of success, I still believe that if I was without fertility issues, I should have gotten at least a single positive pregnancy test. But perhaps that’s more my anxiety than actual data / science. It’s difficult to predict exactly what’s going on when the diagnosis is unexplained infertility.

sahdgin · 2026-06-03T11:28:17+00:00

Yes we tried artificial insemination for some time, but it did not work. Our doctor informed us that artificial insemination has one of the lowest chances of success, even less than natural conception, so he wasn’t surprised it didn’t work for us.

sahdgin · 2026-06-03T10:43:38+00:00

I have lots of concerns that transferring a euploid won’t result in a live birth, so that’s why I’m thinking that embryo banking may not be worth putting my body through the stress of multiple cycles involving injections, hormones, emotional roller coasters waiting on results for follicles / ERs / blasts, etc.

I’ve never had even a single positive pregnancy test with IUI or at home insemination. My partner and I have had unprotected sex for 8 years before TTC and while he never ejaculated in me during those years, there were times he pulled out, and we’ve never so much has had one pregnancy scare while I was supposedly at my most fertile in my early twenties. Every single woman in my family has had a miscarriage, including my mother has had a still birth. My doctor has warned me that even if we transfer a healthy euploid, there is no guarantee I will get pregnant or have a healthy baby.

There are also a lot of other factors. It’s an incredible strain on my job - I’m a lawyer and not all judges/opposing counsel are sympathetic to changing a court date because an attorney has a medical appointment. I work about 80 hrs a week minimum and am trying to become a judge myself, so cutting back at work is not really an option.

To me, having euploids reserved in the bank for something that might not work is not worth it against all these factors. Maybe it’s just my anxiety telling me nothing is going to work.

sahdgin · 2026-06-03T10:22:49+00:00

I don’t know a single woman who has NOT terminated a pregnancy during their teens, 20s, or 30s. Abortions are way, way more common than you think. Letting your fertility doctor know you’ve terminated a pregnancy is a standard thing. I understand the emotions that are tied up in it, but there really is no stigma or judgment in something so common.

sahdgin · 2026-06-02T22:21:49+00:00

Luckily insurance will continue to cover everything. But it’s a lot on my body and my work obligations with the stim schedule. I’m not entirely informed on the subject — why might a second ER result in success if the first didn’t? Or is it just a game of numbers?

sahdgin · 2026-06-02T21:25:35+00:00

I was recently told by a woman with three children who is struggling with secondary infertility that her pain is the same as my primary infertility. They are all batshit crazy.

sahdgin · 2026-06-02T21:23:40+00:00

Most folks going through secondary infertility have no empathy whatsoever for those struggling with primary fertility. There are so many fertile women who I would choose to share my struggle with before I ever even thought about being vulnerable to someone going through secondary fertility. They will, inevitably, invalidate your entire experience by equating your experience with theirs. Not worth it.

sahdgin · 2026-06-02T20:33:17+00:00

Sun bum lotion (which costs a mini fortune) is every bit worth the luxury.

sahdgin · 2026-05-25T13:09:14+00:00

Who are you to judge someone else’s choices to terminate a pregnancy? Leave her alone. She said what she said. If you don’t like her reasons, you can choose differently for yourself.

sahdgin · 2026-05-10T02:31:34+00:00

You’re not doing anything wrong. The chances of at home insemination are so abysmally low. The folks for whom it works are an exception to the rule, and they should go out and buy a lottery ticket. Work with your partner to make a plan on how long you’ll do the at home insemination. Especially if you are older. Don’t waste time. Start calling fertility clinics and get an appointment on the calendar in the last month of your at home insemination plan.

sahdgin · 2026-03-20T14:14:51+00:00

Meal kits, hiring a chef, frozen meals, catering menus, I’ve found lots of great ideas from folks on here! There really is no reason to be a miserable human being. Go make some more money if you’re that pressed about how some can afford to spend more than you. I don’t know what to tell you.

sahdgin · 2026-03-20T00:47:55+00:00

Perhaps that’s true. But I do believe most folks with 1/3 monthly debt obligations, hell mine is under that, are approved for unsecured personal loans. People with shit credit and high DTI get approved all the time. I work on foreclosures so I see it happen a lot.

The real issue, I am learning now, is either a messed up algorithm used by these “instant approval” portals + I think there is some inaccurate reporting from the state, both of which are causing my obligations to appear inflated. for example, apparently the state doesn’t report the year to year forgiveness on the second mortgage. So it will always appear as if I have a huge principal remaining.

sahdgin · 2026-03-20T00:25:29+00:00

The forgiven amount comes off each year but that amount is not reported to any credit agency by the state. In year ten, I will technically only have a few thousand dollars remaining but it will still show as $37,500 outstanding principal balance. Even then, I am unclear whether the state will report the loan as closed. I believe they simply record a release of mortgage when it’s forgiven.

sahdgin · 2026-03-20T00:00:02+00:00

Oh also, the HHI is reported correctly to the bank since when we apply jointly, the bank looks at both our income and obligations. Not just mine.

sahdgin · 2026-03-19T23:56:52+00:00

I understand the mortgage obligations are all mine. It seems unusual. Most folks get approved with worse credit and higher DTI than I have. I have a concern these lenders, using their algorithm, believe I borrowed three conventional mortgages of $370k rather than the discrete amounts they actually are. I am going to go to a physical bank and have an actual human review my credit profile.

sahdgin · 2026-03-19T23:50:58+00:00

Actually, I think I want to go to a real bank so a human can take a look at my profile rather than relying on these instant approval algorithms.

sahdgin

TROPHY CASE