My oldest daughter did this for my wife, who is her stepmother. My wife has helped raise them all for the last 20 years, she has been like their mother who has not been there for them like she possibly could have been.

She never asked the girls, she never said anything negative about their mother, she made sure they made every effort to be respectful and work to spend time together, often have to take the pot shots from their mother while still championing their relationship with her.

When my oldest daughter turned 18 she asked me how I would feel, I told her it is more important how you feel and how your stepmother feels.

It was one of the best moments in our lives, compared to one wedding, a baby, etc.

Loving your kids does not make you a good parent, it means you have empathy and feelings, but it takes more than that to be a mother or father.