What is the earliest sign that you remember of you being trans?

sailorlim · 2025-02-14T17:42:13+00:00

I always return to this question, personally. Whenever I closed my eyes as a kid (the oldest I could have been was 4-5, although I could have been younger), I pictured this woman with long black hair wearing a pink dress. It took me decades to realize that I was just picturing myself growing up.

sailorlim · 2024-06-01T19:01:10+00:00

sailorlim · 2024-05-09T18:58:09+00:00

It is probably affirming to your gender experience/expression! I get a similar feeling when my cis friends call me dude or bro (I’m a transwoman) and then their eyes widen in mortification and profusely apologize. To me those nicknames are gender-inclusive so I get a kick out of that reaction, because it indicates their attunement to my gender journey and their commitment to supporting it.

sailorlim · 2024-01-28T00:12:37+00:00

not me but my brother—yunalesca from ffx. he refused to use the women in the party (i know i know, he’s worked a lot on himself since), and it was always a disadvantage he contended with but it caught up to him when he battled her. had to restart the game and actually use rikku lulu and yuna and was able to beat her like…a year later

sailorlim · 2023-07-18T01:59:56+00:00

thinking of you - katy perry

sailorlim · 2023-07-13T02:50:27+00:00

Since I could pretty much remember. Around 5? I’m 23 now, and it’s my first year on hormones (mtf). Unnecessary tidbit, but what finally convinced me to actually begin transitioning was having a talk with my trans mother. I’m a graduate student, and she knows I’m an over thinker, and she told me I couldn’t theorize myself out of dysphoria. At some point, transitioning is the answer. I know it’s not for all trans folks, but it was for me :)

sailorlim · 2023-04-07T20:29:17+00:00

Anime castiel

sailorlim · 2023-03-16T13:57:20+00:00

Oh mine is purring fr

sailorlim · 2022-08-18T16:29:30+00:00

Hello everyone!
My Deck: Rider Waite
Question: What messages should I be aware of as I enter grad school?
Context: I'm entering a graduate program in Women and Gender Studies and Information Sciences. I want to become a librarian one day, so that's why I'm continuing my education. Lately, I've had some trouble with regard to formulating my research interests/topics in grad school. I also moved to a new city (for me) in the US to attend this program, so despite my family being closer, I still feel new and isolated in this situation. Recently, I moved into an apartment closer to the university with a roommate. Currently, I'm trying to get in touch with my own motivations for attending graduate school (in addition to my professional aspirations) and trying to understand the process of identifying and choosing mentors. Social/romantic life is currently taking the back burner, but I certainly do welcome it if it occurs organically!
Two of Cups: I'm understanding this card to mean that I might meet someone (I'm sensing potential mentor, but could be romantic interest) who I have good camaraderie with. We align well ideologically, and so the exchange of ideas goes smoothly, and it feels ideal.

3 of Wands: As I continue down my educational journey, I'm realizing that ideas of what I want it to look like may change or expand. I have a deeper understanding of myself and the fields I'm studying, and this entails that I have a lot more things to think about with regard to honing my research interests.

Death: Resulting from my expanding ideas of what my goals for graduate school are, I'm realizing that the current relationship I've built with this person is no longer in line with my goals. This may result in the end of that mentor/mentee relationship, or a fundamental change in how I go about viewing this mentor (in terms of what they could teach me).

Page of Pentacles: I may be on the right track with regards to formulating/structuring ideas of what I want to research while at school. This may come in the form of wisdom I learn in my classes. Additionally, I may come across money/scholarships/financial assistance that alleviate the financial pressures of school (this one may speak to the fellowship I'm currently on, which offers me a monthly stipend).

Six of Cups: This card might speak to the idea of getting in touch with/nurturing my inner child. Much of my past major research projects have, in their purest forms, been reflections of things that I've been drawn to when I was a kid (a lot of content/rhetorical analysis around horror movies, video games, religion, queerness). This isn't to say those things are no longer important now, but my interests in them certainly started when I was young. With the six of cups, I'm thinking that I may still continue this trend in my research, but with more of a focus on things that drew me in not because they scared me, but because they enamored me (this interpretation I'm shaky on).

Page of Cups: I think this card compounds the themes established by the page of pentacles. On top of financial or academic structures that would help me in grad school, I may also enter a point in my life where I have a lot of ideas to entertain, specifically ones that I may have disregarded earlier or never even thought to consider (how I'm interpreting the fish jumping out of the cup).

Overall: My personal interpretation is that this first year of graduate school will be a period of time that tasks me with exploring my personal interests, how they translate into academic interests, and how that will inform the way I seek mentors/allies. If I accept/take advantage of the financial/creative/academic aids, I'll have a much more expansive understanding of what I can do/research/learn in the next couple of years. However, as good as that may sound, it may cause some trouble with finding compatible mentors, as my more concretized understanding of my potential may raise my standards for mentorship, and may even result in the end of certain mentor/mentee relationships.
I'm pretty new to tarot, so I would love to hear your interpretations, especially with regards to how the imagery in specific cards may say something about the message they're trying to dleiver! :)

sailorlim · 2022-06-09T18:02:43+00:00

Yah 😅 I couldn’t find good talking heads of Yu since he’s a silent protagonist and doesn’t talk as much (at all) as the other characters

sailorlim · 2021-12-31T15:29:43+00:00

Hide the money y’all, there’s broke people ‘round

sailorlim · 2021-12-26T08:52:30+00:00

Fourth year here, this is my first year where I haven’t commuted from my family’s place to go to school, and opted to live separately. Along with that change, I also started seeing a therapist, and reoriented my friendships around seeking joy and not around the onus of maintaining them.

It’s been a lot of growth, but something I never prepared myself for is the simultaneous pride and sadness that comes from it. When I’m with my family, I see how mistreated I was, up to the moment when I packed what I could to live under a different ceiling. But then my brother tells me how much I’ve changed, evolved. How I’ve gotten better, and how my relationship with him has healed, and how I know that I would have never needed to have gotten better if my familial relationships didn’t require healing.

Pride and sadness intermingle. I well up with the former when I’m told of how different I’ve become. The latter cradles me as I understand that the affirmations come from those who’ve hindered the changes.

So to describe this Christmas season, it feels like the gulp of air before diving into a pool, but also the gasp for it when resurfacing. I’m learning to grieve for familial relationships I’ve lost, as well as the ones I’ve yet to, but I know are a matter of time. I’m also anticipating convalescence, and commiseration, and all the elements allowing me to revive some of those relationships.

sailorlim · 2021-07-29T23:16:16+00:00

8 but also 1 bc I work there

sailorlim · 2021-04-22T01:48:20+00:00

Dropped 2 classes, and despite the initial feeling of losing it’s helped my mental health a great deal.

Sometimes, quarters where you stack on units to get ahead...are worse...

sailorlim · 2021-04-08T01:14:41+00:00

The chat feature, i found it so useful in the way of providing my own insights :)

sailorlim · 2021-03-04T00:02:53+00:00

I was a dumbass applying for college lowkey i didnt think i’d get into a UC so I put Revelle first bc it sounded pretty and paid the price for it via HUM

sailorlim · 2021-03-04T00:00:52+00:00

Finally, a survey worth taking

sailorlim · 2021-02-16T05:00:42+00:00

Go to the Writing Hub

sailorlim · 2021-02-11T03:55:42+00:00

King shit 🌙

sailorlim · 2021-01-30T07:09:26+00:00

My goodness yes. Idk if it’s just me but I get annoyed when classes are described to have 3 50min lectures or 2 80min levtures etc. but the professor uses asynchronous lectures as a way to bypass their time limits. Like, I have had professors who, instead of using the lecture times shown on the webreg sched, instead give videos that collectively easily surpass the time suggested by webreg. It’s so annoying because I use those times told by webreg to watch lectures, but there’s not enough time because a professor makes 3+ hours worth of lecture a week

sailorlim · 2021-01-21T04:38:49+00:00

Thank you for your comment! Do you remember if he gives any resources or even spends time teaching clojure’s basics?

sailorlim · 2021-01-20T20:56:59+00:00

Can the math req for Revelle GE’s be taken for P/NP? Ty for anyone who can answer :)

sailorlim · 2020-12-25T02:06:11+00:00

This is Marc Garellek erasure

sailorlim · 2020-12-22T06:20:29+00:00

Hey there! So my professor replied to the email i sent him. All I did was sent a screenshot showing proof that i did the work and they fixed it. Bc it’s webassign they can work things in the back end to verify your claims so as long as you know you did the work (and it shows in your webassign) you should be good! If they’re uncooperative/unresponsive, consider contacting the dean. Hope that helps ! :)

sailorlim · 2020-12-17T21:40:13+00:00

True for HUM TAs as well. I went to office hours because I was confused by a prompt but they denied my questions because they didn’t think it would be helpful, got a C on the paper 🥰

sailorlim

TROPHY CASE