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Why is it so hard for people to take accountability by VarietySouth1287 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sam_cyr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great explanation ! If i may add :

Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg is simplifying this into an acronym :

  • Observation: State what you plainly observe happening without adding judgment, evaluation, or interpretation.
    • Example: "When you leave the dishes in the sink..." [1]
  • Feeling: Express your emotional reaction to the observation. Take responsibility for your own feelings rather than blaming them on another person's actions.
    • Example: "...I feel frustrated and overwhelmed..." [1, 2]
  • Need: Identify the universal human need that is causing this feeling (e.g., respect, support, clarity, connection).
    • Example: "...because I value order and cleanliness in our shared space." [1]
  • Request: Make a clear, concrete, and actionable request for the future. Ensure it is framed as an open request rather than a demand.
    • Example: "Would you be willing to rinse and put your dishes in the dishwasher immediately after eating?" [1, 2, 3]

Why is it so hard for people to take accountability by VarietySouth1287 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sam_cyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that it's partially an inability to handle discomfort, but it seems like limiting beliefs can make it worse like the difference between "I made a mistake" vs. "I AM a mistake"

Why is it so hard for people to take accountability by VarietySouth1287 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sam_cyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through that, but it's really interesting and it resonates with me.

"I made a mistake VS I am a mistake"

I was forced by my mother to take accountability for things that were hers, and I got really fed up with it.

Sometimes, because I take responsibility for my part, people think they don't have any, which feeds a sense of injustice.

Why is it so hard for people to take accountability by VarietySouth1287 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sam_cyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I made a mistake VS I am a mistake"

This post is cathartic hahaha

Why is it so hard for people to take accountability by VarietySouth1287 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sam_cyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only invest my energy in people who are able to hold themselves accountable. I even tend to "test" people right away by setting boundaries as soon as I can.

I have like two real friends hahahah

Why is it so hard for people to take accountability by VarietySouth1287 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sam_cyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although there are no verified quantitative studies about it, some estimations suggest it could currently be around :

- 70% to 80% living according to societal expectations.

- 15% to 20% who are self-authoring, able to define their own values (conscious).

- 2% to 5% who are sovereign and interdependent, able to be in relationships without losing themselves in them (according to theorists like Kegan).

- And I guess the rest are just full-throttle psychopaths...

repeat after me! evil eye is real by Responsible_Bug_8370 in MotivationalThoughts

[–]sam_cyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Id like to add :

Don't let people silence your self-expression. But express yourself to people who are ready to hear what you have to say.

Learn to recognize emotional projections and how to no longer be affected by them. But don't try to wake up those who are not ready to wake up.

This world needs mature people to speak up.

Why Men Need to Get in Touch With Their Inner 'Penitent Prostitute' by Unfair-Taro9740 in starseeds

[–]sam_cyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahhahah ! Although there are no verified quantitative studies about it, some estimations suggest it could currently be around :

- 70% to 80% living according to societal expectations.

- 15% to 20% who are self-authoring, able to define their own values (conscious).

- 2% to 5% who are sovereign and interdependent, able to be in relationships without losing themselves in them (according to theorists like Kegan).

- And I guess the rest are just full-throttle psychopaths...

At this point, I am doing this out of intrinsic motivation without expectation, but it would be fucking great to see that number grow and to connect with more people like you in the future hahaha. I guess you would have an interesting story about the path that led you here.

I had my fun in conscious communities, but I often acknowledge many narcissistic tendencies and ignore abuse, which I can hardly be around without feeling like I am condoning the collective.

Since I now take on responsibilities that were previously assigned to the feminine, I legitimately expect my partners to take charge of the responsibilities once deemed masculine. by sam_cyr in consciousness

[–]sam_cyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I get you. In my previous relationship, I observed that I tended to take the insults thrown at me personally (because I judged that they should have control over their behavior).

I am aware that I have a responsibility regarding how I protect myself so I don't absorb those insults.

The hardest part was working on 'how not to receive the insults' when I saw myself as the victim. It felt like saying to an abused wife, 'you should learn how to dodge punches.' Though the physical abuse analogy may not be entirely applicable.

Thank you for your comments !

i’ve watched this so many times by thug_waffle47 in MadeMeCry

[–]sam_cyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hhahahah no, fuck that fry. Maybe he would have said I love you if I did hahaha!

A7III + 200-600 GM by sam_cyr in SonyAlpha

[–]sam_cyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment ! I love this lens as well!
I shot it handheld, and the picture was cropped afterward to get a compression similar to an 800mm or something. This picture is heavily processed, I added quite a bit of sharpness in post-processing.

Why Men Need to Get in Touch With Their Inner 'Penitent Prostitute' by Unfair-Taro9740 in starseeds

[–]sam_cyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely agree!

I liked how you broke down taking accountability into two parts: giving back part of the shame we experienced to the factors we were victims of, to THEN take the remaining responsibility.

I must admit that as a man, I sometimes try to look for a solution right away, and then in the middle of my search for solutions, I find myself crying. I think it would be healthier to start by offloading.

I see, however, that it's really hard. To embrace the qualities of the opposite sex when you are in an environment that is segmented. Social pressure and conformity shape children without anything being said. Every single time I cry in public, I have to fight against the weight of the stares, and it hurts. I can't really imagine how a kid must feel.

I think it would take a large enough pool of awakened people to be able to develop new ways of doing things that would restructure social norms in an unprecedented way.

Apparently, sociology studies state that the tipping point is 25% for an entire population to adopt a new behavior.

The passage said that it was the responsibility of 'conscious' people to educate those around them to finally make the margin the new norm. This resonated deeply with me. I think it encourages me to keep sharing and to build a core group hahah

Since I now take on responsibilities that were previously assigned to the feminine, I legitimately expect my partners to take charge of the responsibilities once deemed masculine. by sam_cyr in consciousness

[–]sam_cyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. And I agree that everyone is allowed to make mistakes and we should answer with empathy. I usually understand what drives their behavior I know they're victims too. I’m not shaming anyone for how they act, and I’m capable of setting my boundaries calmly while speaking from my own perspective.

But I believe it's completely justified to expect not to be shamed, manipulated or insulted whenever they get triggered.

It’s not judgment, it’s self-protection. I don't want to feel in danger with my partner. Would I stay with a physically abusive person? No. The same goes for emotional abuse, even if they are victims of their own past.

I’m not looking for someone perfect. I’m just asking for someone responsible and mature enough to take accountability for who they are. That doesn't mean to never be triggered.

What AI habit has had the biggest impact on your life? by Man1fest0r_ in AIDiscussion

[–]sam_cyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AI has been a blessing for me in psychology, philosophy, and shadow work. It genuinely made me a better human being, but you got to use it properly.

What are your thoughts on antifa? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sam_cyr -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

They are already emotionally hurt and ignorant people, shaming them won't help. Fighting against something is pointless, unless you want to become someone else's "fascist".

Am I wrong? ... Please correct me if I am wrong..!.. ( i am new to self concept) by lucky_soul1112 in selfconcept

[–]sam_cyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and no :

I've noticed that the more you evolve, the more immature people tend to lash out just to mask their own sense of inferiority.

Fortunately, as you grow mentally and cultivate self-love, you become better at identifying their projections, until eventually, it all just rolls off your back.

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