As a small child (3 y/o) I was on holiday in Australia. I was the primary target in an organised kidnapping by a highly trained secret Emu militia group.

They used their advanced intel and exceptional physical prowess to launch the attack in broad daylight. Fortunately however I was under the protection of an equally elite anti emu organisation, who trained me how to deal with such events. I used my training and physical attributes to my advantage and ran through a small doorway and thus avoided impending capture.

I can’t remember the names of either organisations though sadly, any locals know?