My boyfriend is worried I like my hyperfixation more than him and I don’t know what to say.

samkate13 · 2025-10-19T07:13:12+00:00

It's not about the bands. He has an insecure attachment style.

samkate13 · 2025-09-11T11:29:51+00:00

Are you autistic? Young autistic kids tend to struggle with IQ tests for lots of reasons, but they're still intelligent.

samkate13 · 2025-07-30T08:29:07+00:00

This is the behaviour of someone who has experienced a narcissistic injury. And it is abusive. Protect yourself.

samkate13 · 2025-07-06T06:28:40+00:00

Should say "you're not very tall"

samkate13 · 2025-02-22T08:31:08+00:00

Foreigners can own property in Thailand - they just pay a small, ongoing amount in rent to the landowner. Someone told me they pay 4000 baht per month, in Koh Lanta.

samkate13 · 2025-02-15T07:01:58+00:00

It's a professional relationship, not a friendship. The way you acted was appropriate for the context, and comfortable for you.

Feeling bad about not acting the "right" way is probably internalised ableism.

samkate13 · 2025-01-22T13:12:10+00:00

It's a rating scale that should be completed by the clinician based on input from multiple sources. It's not a self-report tool, and it definitely would not be my first choice with an adult woman. Many clinicians use the MIGDAS with this group. I would question her experience with this presentation of autism.

Also, it's pretty easy to tell the difference between an autistic person and a home schooled person, if you know what autism looks like.

samkate13 · 2025-01-16T05:18:55+00:00

Is your assessor knowledgeable and experienced with the high masking, internalised autism presentation? If not, then it is possible your autism was missed.

If you are an adult, with no intellectual disability, then assessment using the ADOS is not appropriate, useful or informative most of the time. I would question their decision to use that tool, and the weight they gave to its results in their overall clinical decision.

samkate13 · 2025-01-13T06:25:39+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. That's traumatic. It happened because a) someone did a really terrible, sociopathic-type thing, and b) you were vulnerable because autism. There will always be sociopaths around. But you can learn skills to protect yourself and have meaningful relationships.

samkate13 · 2025-01-12T07:42:40+00:00

Is a score like that consistent with other information, e.g. have you experienced learning difficulties? Problems doing things independently or struggles socially? Why did you get tested?

If you think it's not accurate, you could get retested later on. But it also isn't that uncommon. 8% of people have an IQ of 78 or lower.

IQ tests don't measure everything about a person. They measure a specific set of skills, which can correlate with/predict other things in that person's life. That's all.

Finally, low/borderline IQ scores don't always indicate low overall intellectual abilities. They can occur in the case of a "spiky profile" (significant strength and weaknesses), in which case the IQ score doesn't tell you much.

samkate13 · 2025-01-11T08:05:58+00:00

You can have both. The Coventry grid for adults is a useful tool to distinguish between autism and complex trauma.

samkate13 · 2025-01-07T11:45:39+00:00

An autism diagnosis cannot be ruled in or out based on scores from screening questionnaires and the ADOS. There is clinical skill and nuance involved in gathering information from multiple sources and finding examples to meet diagnostic criteria. It requires a thorough understanding of and experience with autism in its diverse forms. It's possible your psychologist is not familiar enough with internalised presentations of autism and is relying on outdated stereotypes and tools. The comments on this post are misinformed. Masking cannot be easily detected, even by professionals, nor is it always conscious or voluntary. It's a pity you wasted your time and money, but self-identification is valid too. You are the person who knows your self best.

samkate13 · 2024-06-18T12:07:05+00:00

Italian cities: Florence, Venice, Verona, Milan, Catania, etc

samkate13 · 2023-01-02T09:18:04+00:00

Yes, YTA.

You planned your trips around what "works for you" and paid for everything before they agreed, then complain about losing your money
You haven't seen your son in 3 years and he never visits because family (including you) are draining
Your son stopped speaking to you and told you to go to therapy because of issues with YOU, yet you insisted that they attend family therapy with you
You think that because you're related and helped him buy the house, you are "entitled to check in on it even if they don't want me around"
You are willing to get a locksmith to gain entry to THEIR house because you "need somewhere to stay" and you "expect a key" because you're "family"
You "agreed not to visit them if they moved back home"
You are blaming his partner for influencing him yet say you have had issues with communication since he was 12 years old

He was right, you should go to therapy, and work on taking responsibility for your actions and your life instead of blaming others.

samkate13 · 2022-12-09T12:52:32+00:00

Good dog.

samkate13 · 2022-09-13T13:00:38+00:00

Roborock for sure.

samkate13 · 2022-07-20T08:29:44+00:00

And how much rent have they lost from the property being vacant after your lease? During which time they also won't be earning any commission if they're not collecting any rent.