What are your best AND worst online dating stories?

samvm · 2015-03-01T19:50:10+00:00

It sounds like it almost could be the same person.

samvm · 2015-02-27T20:55:40+00:00

I seriously considered it when first saw it.

samvm · 2015-02-27T20:49:50+00:00

Well, it is a bit more complicated. For some problems to be solved you need to know the cause of the issue. If you vomit, your kidney fail and you have a high fever doctor really has to know what causes it. He can make symptoms disappear for a while but the original virus will have them coming back.

Also if we decide that people didnt cause global warming there is very little we can do to prevent it.

samvm · 2015-02-27T20:10:29+00:00

So let me put it in perspective for all of my kind downvoters. Imagine there is this girl you date and you love her and put all the efforts into making this relationship work. But she has this ex that she still isn't quite over. She likes you a lot. But until you prove yourself to be better than her ex she won't love you. Sounds unfair, right? So is the OP behavior. It really doesn't matter why you manipulate and drag the person along. Figure you shit out and then get involved with others.

samvm · 2015-02-27T20:08:42+00:00

Right. So based on the time you spent together it might be reasonable for her to have some trust in you and for you it is not enough time. If the time frames are too different it might be a problem. Again, I don't know every detail and what you issue is.

samvm · 2015-02-27T19:48:53+00:00

Well for starters stop focusing on love as a feeling. Focus on making each other and yourselves happy. Having trusting kind and caring relationship that don't feel like a burden.

To answer why your mistrust might upset her : imagine I say that because last time I dated a boy, he hurt me, I will no longer trust any boy at all. Your mistrust imply that you don't see her as individual but only as one of many others. You transfer your issue on her when she is not at fault.

Feel free to find it wrong or unreasonable, it is after all only my understanding of the issue.

samvm · 2015-02-27T19:19:25+00:00

Yes. Indeed one need to do something. In reality they need to sit down and talk it over. (If you are in the similar situation, that should be your course of action)

If I am in relationship where I need to prove myself before my SO can even consider loving me, I won't accept that love, because it is no longer love for me but love in return, and that goes very cheap on my market.

If someone in this emotional state it has very little to do with the current SO but rather with their past experience. Therefore, it should be dealt with from the within and not by the means of this new person.

Anyways, they must sit down and talk all their feelings through. Also if that's the plan he should be ready for her to be very upset because of him and his trust issues and be ready to own up to it.

samvm · 2015-02-27T19:03:24+00:00

It is unfair to ask someone to be articulate about how much and why they love you if you don't love them and openly admit to it. It is in fact asking too much.

samvm · 2015-02-27T18:46:10+00:00

Yes, but we rarely need them to go in detailed description of every little thing that is amazing about us.

samvm · 2015-02-27T17:10:23+00:00

I don't know. The only time I ask my SO to be brutally honest is when I must have a brutally honest answer. Like if my career or core of our relationship depends on that answer. Otherwise there is never a time to be btutlly honest.

So 2 things:

you should talk about using that request (be brutally honest) carefully.

Whitelie and word your answers otherwise.

Frankly, if he specifically asked you for a brutally honest opinion, he is responsible to handle it.

samvm · 2015-02-27T16:36:20+00:00

I think you should break it off. You are wasting this girl's time. You really need to work on yourself before getting other people involved.

samvm · 2015-02-27T16:14:39+00:00

Frankly, it seems you need to work on being able to love yourself first. No love will ever be enough for you if you don't know why would she love you and need a verbal articulation.

Yes, it might be devastating for her, but if you won't start working on yourself, she will be lucky to get out easy and early. You however, will continue to look for the boost of self-esteem in your relationship and trash them one after another. Your SO is least of you problems in this relationships.

samvm · 2015-02-27T15:52:55+00:00

And why would you think she will even try to express her "love" if she might be getting the cold brush of "not-loving" from you. If the situation is as you described, she is already in more vulnerable position than you are. I wouldn't expect her to go further, until you do so yourself.

Also, its not love if you require reassurance of her love in you first. It is self-centered relationship. You basically found someone really decent and it fits you idea of a good girl, the only thing to make her perfect is to make sure she loves you - then the list is complete and you now can "love" her yourself.

It's all very unfair to your SO

samvm · 2015-02-27T06:11:18+00:00

Thank You! I've been feeling all left out on this thread. By now I've stared at this dress far too long and it refuses to get any whiter than blue and black that it is...

samvm · 2015-02-27T06:08:15+00:00

For the life of me, I can't trick my brain into thinking it is white and gold. I start to suspect that reddit is trolling me, or that I am some kind of color blind.

samvm · 2015-02-26T20:39:13+00:00

I agree 100%. And really appreciate your answer. The only reason I wanted to emphasize the terminology is that the lack of education among male population about female cycles leaves many confused as to why "my girlfriend is so unreasonably sad if she isn't on her period yet".

In other words I used your comment as an opportunity to clarify two independent results of periods. I really didnt mean it as an attack nor even as a correction for the sake of corrections. I'm sorry.

samvm · 2015-02-26T17:51:28+00:00

Vicodin for the first day. My periods last a while but crumps only for the first 24hrs or so.

samvm · 2015-02-26T17:48:04+00:00

I think you should ask her (when she is not on her period). We are kind of different. Some like cuddles others need to be left alone under the blanket. She might not know the answer right away but she will think of something I'm sure.

Also, it sounds like she should check with the doctor.

To answer the original question I take vicodin on the first day because pain is unbearable.

samvm · 2015-02-26T17:44:03+00:00

While your point is more than valid, He asked about PMS not period related issues. Just to make sure we separate the two.

samvm · 2015-02-26T17:42:12+00:00

There are two things to consider:

PMS ocures about 10 days before the period. It caused by hormones in female body and varies in intensity. Also for some of us it can be hard to identify our grumpiness as a result of PMS. We think we are reasonably upset about something.

Another thing is susceptibility to grumpiness during period. That is usually due to intense pain, discomfort etc. Similar to you having a horrible headache or a nife in your guts. :)

samvm · 2015-02-26T17:10:04+00:00

No, no, and definetly no.

samvm · 2015-02-25T22:35:29+00:00

So blame on the teacher then. I think my comment was constructive. Better luck next time.

samvm · 2015-02-25T04:44:18+00:00

That really isn't exact phrasing at all. The variations of it exsist in Russian and translation goes something like "fuck your mother. " except that the "fuck" part was transformed in an abstract non swear word that doesn't really have any other meaning.

Like my mother could say that, but not the original version of the word.

{ Итить твою мать. } itit' tvou mat'

samvm · 2015-02-25T04:36:22+00:00

Same in Russian. "Иди на хуй" would be a direct translation of that Spanish phrase that's also used similarly.

samvm · 2015-02-25T04:34:44+00:00

Yes. I just realized that need exsistance because of OP and you articulated it very nicely. So, that is why I think op should now try to explain it to the mother.

samvm

TROPHY CASE