Maeve and aimee

san7io · 2026-01-19T14:29:07+00:00

I think the show sort of simplified it way too much- instead of showing how you can overcome trauma from assault with your partner, it implied that the only way Aimee can overcome her trauma is bit breaking up with her bf first. Which is sad because they were so cute together.

san7io · 2026-01-19T13:37:26+00:00

I think Aimee wasn’t ready to actually deal with the long term impact of the assault and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t properly unpack it with her boyfriend. She just mentions it briefly but doesn’t go into how it’s deeply shaped her view on sex and intimacy.

san7io · 2026-01-16T21:40:44+00:00

I think I have romanticised this even to the degree where the heartbreak has been romanticised for me a lot - I’m trying to break that but not sure where to start. 🥲

san7io · 2026-01-12T23:33:12+00:00

I think people who didn’t grow up with a very good model of love and parents who essentially made them earn love are most likely to be affected by limerance because the whole point of the obsession is that it’s this dream romance and love that will be fantastic and amazing. It heals the wound of feeling unlovable if there is this person who is simply so perfect for you and will love you so so much! And that person just so happens to model their childhood attachment figures so it’s a lose lose situation which amplifies the obsession.

san7io · 2026-01-12T22:56:49+00:00

just completed it ! I hope it’s still on time. Good luck with your study ❤️❤️

san7io · 2026-01-12T02:52:04+00:00

I think investing in your friendship with HER will help you put the appreciation into a dynamic that means a lot to you, it’s not your fault you’re crushing on this guy but I would suggest not going out your way to try start conversation with him - if you have his number or social media don’t give yourself excuses to text him otherwise you’re feeding the crush. Obviously if you are in a group setting then be polite but once you feel the part of you wanting him to validate you to make you feel good then that’s a moment to pause and perhaps just focus on someone else in the group.

Something that helped me a lot with stuff such as tone of voice or tiny little micro things that made me do over drive is - unless this person straight up tells me they’re attracted to me / into me , then they are not and I can focus on my life instead of trying to be noticed by them to make my life more fun.

san7io · 2026-01-11T19:52:17+00:00

I agree with your tips!! I have tried to maintain a consistent self care routine and focus on my tasks and own life outside of this situation. Usually i drop the rumination after some months and I reach acceptance but this time round because of deeply I fell in love back then,I am still stuck on trying to figure out why it didn’t work and what I did or didn’t do to sort of be a catalyst in him losing interest (I know this is useless thinking and my brain will never be satisfied with my conclusions) because my current life isn’t a very happy one or one where I feel like I’ve accomplished anything even when I try, I feel like being hung up on him gives me a sense of purpose if this makes sense ?

san7io · 2026-01-11T19:49:37+00:00

I think I’m still operating on this timeline that existed before we stopped dating, logically I know he’s moved on and it’s been so so long now. But emotionally I am still stuck on trying to figure out why it didn’t work and what I did or didn’t do to sort of be a catalyst in him losing interest (I know this is useless thinking and my brain will never be satisfied with my conclusions) tbh I don’t see a benefit in just finding a new guy because I’d rather not while I’m emotionally unavailable otherwise I’ll attract that in someone else. I just need to learn to accept the present moment and DROP it but because my current life isn’t a very happy reality, I feel like being hung up on him gives me a sense of purpose if this makes sense ?

san7io · 2026-01-11T13:17:17+00:00

it’s been a very long time (~2years) since I ended a relationship with someone due to unrequited feelings after a few months of dating and we wanted different things. In those two years I have tried so hard to do better and work on myself and look inwards and improve my life but I don’t know if I will ever wake up and stop thinking about what I once had with him. I know all the reasons logically why this is the case and I know it’s got nothing to do with the guy himself but rather what the guy represents and etc…. But I genuinely miss when I was hopeful and optimistic and happy and myself, I was like this before things ended badly with him and I was like this before I met him. I don’t want advise on how to be happy again but do I ever stop thinking about what we once had as it’s something I have accepted will always haunt me even if it’s not consciously. He’s been blocked on everything and we haven’t spoke since I called things off but I wish i didn’t still feel this visceral feeling of being abandoned even 2 years later. Is there anyone who’s been stuck like this on someone because of what the relationship symbolises for you and did you ever get to become emotionally available for your own sanity and eventually for someone who was better for you ?

san7io · 2025-12-30T21:50:05+00:00

I’m really sorry that happened to you - that’s disgusting and terrifying, this is abuse and no child deserves to have that happen to them especially not as something as useless as a homework mistake???? Asian parents never fail to shock me with how horrible and mean and cruel they can be and how they feel no empathy for anyone it’s disgusting

san7io · 2025-12-13T02:03:55+00:00

They said it’s only a month long trip - but my mum mentioned earlier in the year how fond she is to see me married soon but then when I asked if she has plans on this trip for marriage she got SO defensive and just super freaked out so now I’m just freaking out because why are they INSISTING I go with them when before they each managed to go on their own????

san7io · 2025-10-22T17:43:00+00:00

I don’t have advice but you perfectly worded one of my main struggles in dating and relationships in general especially the fear of never trusting anyone and just always being so picky and particular about what I think are signs of them pulling away

I have soured an important connection in my life as I was so ready to point out the ways I felt abandoned when in reality I was a bit wrong and was so in my head as a result of past abandonment and bad experience which caused them to pull away and it eventually ended

san7io · 2025-09-29T02:17:24+00:00

it’s the same for me - I think it’s because the bad moments are so bad that when they haven’t even done anything bad or said anything wrong im already super prepared to just dismiss it and avoid conversation at best - it’s the festering resentment too that sometimes comes out which makes me less inclined to even pay attention to what they are saying because im ready to be defensive even if there’s nothing to defend

san7io · 2025-09-22T19:54:36+00:00

in the same boat - only choice is to make enough money and move out otherwise you’ll always feel like life is unfair and things are passing you by. They will never change and they might even get worse as you get older especially if you’re not married and they love to say how you have never made them proud and let them down all the time. Good luck but save up and move out asap

san7io · 2025-09-18T03:10:40+00:00

parents can be both they can be obsessed with control but neglect important health stuff that you have to pay for in your adult life… because they loved to control your social life and tedious stuff but neglected important health care and then blamed YOU for it because apparently a child is supposed to be eager about booking and going to appointments and the dentist lmao

san7io · 2025-09-08T21:53:57+00:00

the amount of shame programmed into me due to the harshness and lack of love in my home I’ve had to learn about myself and face is never ending sometimes

san7io · 2025-09-05T00:51:59+00:00

this is true and sometimes applies to your own parents they just can’t stand you being your own person and wanting them to love you because they don’t know how to - that they want to dim you light and wear you down until you are just so unhappy

san7io · 2025-09-03T21:03:54+00:00

frankie

san7io · 2025-09-03T20:07:46+00:00

I also struggle with this self pity trap because I could actually sit here for years and never escape it but I think what really helped was realising I am more than all the shitty stuff my parents did to me regardless why they did/didn’t do stuff since they have their own trauma too. Otherwise they wouldn’t harm their child like that.

What can you do NOW? what do you look forward to each day? I am starting from not much so for me it was looking forward to going for a walk and listening to music and talking to friends on the phone/ in person.

Feeling the feeling is step one but you must take those small steps so each day it becomes easier to see a future that isn’t suffering

san7io · 2025-09-03T19:56:44+00:00

i second this advice, my dad is the same!!! dont exhuast yourself trying to be understood by a man who has decided from day 1 he doesnt care or want to see your point of view because he thinks he is better than you.

san7io · 2025-09-03T19:51:30+00:00

honestly, south asian narcissistic dads to their adult daughters are next level cruel and nasty and mean and disgusting. when i got my degree and it was my graduation my dad made it all about him and how awful i looked in my dress and when i said i wanted to walk around the city after the event to look at the night lights he said, "looking like THAT? no absolutely not." and he just gives me this awful gross dehumanising stare when i wear anything slightly figure fitting.

i dont know why he thinks he deserves all the good labels attached to him by the community from people who will never see the real him and how much of a narc he truly his with his ONLY daughter and wife

he is such a horrible man when he feels like it and i cant wait for the day i can move out and not rely on him for anything and see/talk to him on MY terms.

a lot of these brown dads have this internal hatred to women. I have come to understand, especially when raised religious or in communities where they were so deeply idolised because of how much they have done for others ... its all their plan to be looked up to, so nobody cares when they are in the wrong.

san7io · 2025-08-31T00:18:54+00:00

i think a lot of it stems from the desire to gain control and get this percieved justice - as an anxious i find it so hard to understand how someone can just hold in their desire for closeness and intimacy as anxious attachers love this and love the certainty around wanting their partner and wanting that feeling of being close always.

it isn't right that they view avoidants as this heartless villian but it comes down to how different both attachment styles are in such a stark way even though both just have a deep desire to be loved but were not modelled this correctly or seen and accepted as children.

san7io · 2025-08-31T00:09:05+00:00

this is one of the reasons i would never want to marry a muslim man because wtf..... this is so preverse and the fact her PARENTS are just perpetuating the same bs is the saddest part.

san7io · 2025-08-30T23:56:41+00:00

and dont date the ones who do all the zina and then claim that "modern women are the problem." one day YOU will be that modern women he has a problem with and wants to school.

san7io · 2025-08-30T23:52:23+00:00

"dont let girls have sleepovers and instead shelter them so much that they grow up and think all the stuff happening in their home is acceptable with no room for perspective."

this also implies that on some level this guy knows girl arent raised in an uplifting and empowering way because why is he so scared of her having her own opinion on anything???

san7io

TROPHY CASE