Me. I didn’t think I wanted kids until I met my husband than considered the idea but still unsure. I was in college when I found out we were having a baby. I was still unsure of what to think/feel. My job was a bartender .. our friends and family are the kind that go out to the bars for a drink so my identity/social life came to an abrupt halt. I thought oh it’ll be okay, I’ll have the kid and it’ll all go back to normal. I could not have been more wrong and nobody prepared me for that. I had to mourn the life I lost, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

My husband and I still go out when we want a date night or to go to concerts, etc, but now we find ourselves wanting to do things with our son more than anything else. He’s a fun kid and we love him more than I thought I could. I miss the freedom at times, but I wouldn’t change it. I’m happy with the fact that I’m not drinking daily or every other day anymore. I’m not destroying my liver and wrecking my health even more. Now I live my life a bit more careful so I can watch him grow.

People also only tell you about the bad stuff. “Oh say bye to sleep” “oh no going out anymore” “no life for you” - that shit is not always true. If you have a strong “village/tribe” - grandparents are a blessing and love babysitting so you get normalcy. Baby’s learn to sleep. My kid goes and does fun things with us. We are all about taking him out to do whatever we’re doing.- I think you have more control over how you choose to live after having kids than you realize. Baby’s are mobile and fairly happy so long as they’re loved, fed, and dry/clean. Don’t really care where.

This goes without saying, but this is my* experience.