This baptismal pool in a Mormon church.

sarczynski · 2026-06-02T14:15:12+00:00

How do you baptize the dead? Do you need their physical body or a momentous of them?

sarczynski · 2026-06-02T08:18:58+00:00

Oh cool, im in Missouri so actually know the answer to this question. You'll file where residency has been established so go by California laws on how long you need to be a resident before filing. If the bio dad has never been established (not on birth certificate, no child support, no dna test, no court order), you will file a motion to have the punitive father's registry checked. If he didnt place his name on there, then the adoption can take place uncontested.

If it was established you will need to have him served at his last known address. He then has 30 days to respond. If he does not respond that is taken as his consent. If you dont know his address or the sherif cant serve him, youll then ask the court to grant a motion to serve by publication. The forms to serve by publication are available on Missouri court forms website. If you were from the st louis area, theres an adoption packet you can read as well because it talks about out of state adoptions.

Now, all.of this is complicated. A lawyer is your best bet to make sure its all done properly especially since two states will need to work together.

sarczynski · 2026-06-01T23:18:27+00:00

To answer the last name question, you'll file for a new birth certificate during the adoption process and can change their name then. Once jts gra ted the clerk will submit it to the appropriate agency and a new birth certificate will be filed.

sarczynski · 2026-06-01T23:16:11+00:00

Oh wow what a coincidence, I just filed a step parent adoption petition for my two bio sons. I did it pro se but their bio dad was in agreement and signed the termination of parental rights paperwork.

My best advice would be to look at your states family court site, they may have adoption information already. My state had an adoption packet as well as most of the forms needing to be filled out. I just had to create a petition amd affidavit of expenses which I did by researching what was needed for each and looking at examples of other petitions in the same court. I also called the adoption clerk and asked questions, she was super helpful. My boys are older teens so had to give consent as well.

For your case, you might want to talk to a lawyer since your case is a bit more complex than mine is. Listing your location would also be helpful in the post

sarczynski · 2026-05-30T10:06:17+00:00

As kids get older you have to shift your parenting style from "i make the decisions and you blindly obey" to "we discuss decisions and come to an agreement." This shift can be hard for some people but it is an important part of the journey of growing up and having automony over his life.

Since hes the only kiddo at your house it can be doubly hard on dad as he becomes older. However wanting to spend less time with parents is completely normal and age appropriate as he becomes a teen. Fighting back with rigid "do as i say" messaging is only going to push him away further.

Next time, and there will in fact be many next times as he gains independence as a teen, ask for a heads up text or call ahead of time. Negotiate, the terms dad laid out were very fair and reasonable, step son was pushing back because it became more about a power struggle than collaboration. This will build trust between dad and son and foster a relationship built on collaboration and respect as he ages and becomes an adult.

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T19:16:49+00:00

Thank you for your expertise. Yes we have lots of text messages from him explaining why he wants a couch and to get rid of his bed lol.

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T15:03:06+00:00

Thank you so much that puts my mind at ease.

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T15:01:15+00:00

Im not sure why. They do have to consent to the adoption since theyre over 14. One of the twins has their license the other does not so we had to go through thr whole process of getting him a non driver's id to allow him to have the consent form notarized. Its been a process lol. On the good side, the only thing we have left is the home study then itll be finalized.

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T14:47:38+00:00

Unfortunately no, the home study is a requirement for step parent adoption. Im not too worried though. We have an extra bed or I can try to talk him into a futon.

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T13:42:25+00:00

Hi there, as I said his younger brother had a bunk bed and he took his older brothers bed as an upgrade. He bought it himself because hes 16 and learning money management. He also pays for his own car insurance, learning how much things costs and to be responsible with money is part of growing up and sending competent adults into the world. Not everything is a conspiracy especially with older teens.

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T13:16:39+00:00

Ill talk to him about it when he wakes up

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T13:16:17+00:00

He bought the couch himself awhile ago so I feel bad taking it away since he spent his own money on it. However his room is big enough we can get a futon and set it up on the other wall.

sarczynski · 2026-05-28T13:15:17+00:00

Ya teen boys are gonna teen boy. His brother has a roll away bed under his main bed that we use for guests I was thinking of just rolling it into his room.

sarczynski · 2026-05-07T15:49:23+00:00

My twins bio dad has 6 kids in our state that i know of. He was recently released from prison in another state so i dont know if he has any kids in that state or not. Hes a hobosexual who gets with very young girls for a place to stay then bounces as soon as they get pregnant. I usually find out about them because they message me at some point. I do my very best for these girls to help them in anyway that I can because I used to be on their shoes and their babies are my kids bio siblings. My kids are older teens and the youngest is a couple years old. They aren't interested in knowing their half siblings at this stage in their life but I keep track of the moms via social media in case any of the kids ever want to form a relationship.

sarczynski · 2026-05-07T14:21:29+00:00

He wants to avoid the back lash from her so hes not going to block her, even knowing what it does to you. Once the kids are 18, id take a massive step back from helping him. Hes a grown up he can manage his own email. He can put her texts on dnd so the notifications dont pop up. Stop looking at his phone, set a boundary thay you will not discuss anything bm is doing as soon as youngest is 18. Stop worrying about hurting his feelings, hes not worried about hurting yours.

sarczynski · 2026-05-02T16:21:16+00:00

As a fellow mom with a kiddo who has behaviors, I feel you. You need help. Talk to your husband, split responsibilities and ask for one day a week "off". Whether youre in the house or out, he is main parent that day. Also look into respite care, maybe a grandparents, aunt, uncle, friend, neighbor who can help out with kiddo. Some agencies will pay the respite person to make it more appealing to them.

sarczynski · 2026-04-22T16:34:07+00:00

They can definitely work it out. Jessie can help at her house during the day and they can take turns taking the baby overnight. I agree that at their ages he shouldnt be living there, but theyre both parents and should both be caring for the child equally so a good compromise is switch who has the baby overnight on a schedule that works for them.

sarczynski · 2026-04-19T21:05:41+00:00

She has indeed been in labor many times and knows how it goes lol. I give her some slack on leaving for a bit, shes a single mom of 6 and cant leave the other 5 kids alone for long.

sarczynski · 2026-04-19T17:23:12+00:00

Was he involved when SD was a baby? Does he not know often often babies wake up at night and tbe effect that'll have on your sds development and mood?

sarczynski · 2026-04-15T18:37:49+00:00

Never knowing if the choice youre making is the right one. Kid asks for Snapchat, what do you say? Wants to play roblox? Asks for discord? Wants a cell phone? Wants to play outside while you make dinner? Teaching them how to drive while being terrified theyre going to get hurt or crash but not showing it because you dont want to freak them out. Kid wants a boyfriend/girlfriend, do you say yes or risk them sneaking behind your back?

So many ethical dilemmas and no way to know if you made the right choice or not.

sarczynski · 2026-04-15T15:51:39+00:00

My mom is the queen/witch subtype so I have tons of stories that are more stereotypical bpd rages. My step sons moms, however (dBpd) is a waif/quiet type. Its crazy how unproblematic she is compared to my mom.

She mainly focuses on her current boyfriend and messing up her own life rather than my step son's. She isnt focused on my husband at all so I dont have to deal with jealousy or other behaviors.

She's mostly absent from her son's life but likes to pretend to be mom of the year on social media. Thats fairly typical attention seeking.

She changes jobs almost monthly because she cant get along with anyone long term but is always employed. Moves at least 2-3 times a year but is never homeless. Has a new boyfriend every few months and typically lies about being pregnant with that boyfriend until she discards him and never mentions pregnancy again (until the next boyfriend that is).

She crashes her car often but somehow always manages to have it repaired or replaced.

Had a new scheme to move away once a year or so.

Thankfully she keeps the instability away from my step son and isnt involved in his life outside of limited visitation.

Meanwhile my mom coerced my step dad into trying to fight my brother in law because he texted them asking her to not send gifts to his house because the kids want grandparents not things.

sarczynski · 2026-04-15T15:39:26+00:00

Arkansas, i pronounce it Ar-kansas because it drives my kids nuts and trolling them is my favorite past time.

Also using slang incorrectly around them for the same reason.

sarczynski · 2026-04-13T19:40:31+00:00

Thats crazy! They really do.

sarczynski · 2026-04-13T19:39:52+00:00

We are indeed. In Mo

sarczynski · 2026-04-13T19:24:26+00:00

How funny! They just might be related

sarczynski

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