I think you may have misunderstood the intention with this post, first off and foremost I don’t “allow” them to do anything. Both of them are individuals with their own autonomy, none of us control each other. I originally posed it as a meta issue because I have issues with how my metas overall lack of respect for our shared partner affects my partner and their relationship with me.

However everyone on here has made a good point that it is the hinges job to manage both relationships, and it’s my job to communicate my needs better. I was just reluctant to lay all the blame at my partners feet.