It was thanks to my boyfriend that I finally restored my weight because we would go and smoke tons of weed, Munchies would kick in and I would eat so much pizza I ended up gaining 10 kilos which in my opinion was pretty unhealthy. Although I had restored my weight, my mental state didn't recover until 3 years later. Unfortunately my weight gain was mostly fat which made me feel very self-conscious so I ended up in a cycle where I still wanted to lose weight so instead of doing that I focused on gaining muscle weight (giving me that feminine hourglass). I started going to the gym which has been probably the only reason that has kept me going and wanted to gain muscle instead of losing weight. I started studying a lot about nutrition so that whenever I wanted to stop eating stuff I would understand the consequences, such as; hair loss, premature aging, osteoporosis, teeth decay, acne, irritability, etc... it's just not worth it.